The Ամենախաղաղ Հանրապետություն of Artsakhestan is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Sargis Arshakyan with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 12.171 billion Artsakhianiren are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stepanarvashat. The average income tax rate is 66.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Artsakhiani economy, worth 529 trillion Artsakhiani Drams a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Trout Farming, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 43,481 Artsakhiani Drams, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries, vaccinations are mandatory, noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law, and orphanages are closing their doors as the government forces parents to actually raise their children. Crime is totally unknown. Artsakhestan's national animal is the Narnjaguyn T'ut'ak, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is the Armenian Apostolic Christianism.

Artsakhestan is ranked 273,393^rd in the world and 14,769^th in Lazarus for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -8.09 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.