The Mind of Alfonzo is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by The Fonz with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 6.651 billion Als are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alfonzostan. The average income tax rate is 44.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Al economy, worth 350 trillion Toruses a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Tourism, and Trout Farming. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 52,689 Toruses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks, the nation's faithful often say there is a higher power watching over them, wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them, and women don't report crimes to the emergency services for fear of being arrested. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alfonzo's national animal is the Capybara, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Perditious Patriotism.

Alfonzo is ranked 76,733^rd in the world and 4^th in Lake Obsidian for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 3,055.87 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.