The Empire of Pandoska is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Tsar Dmitry IV with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, sprawling nuclear power plants, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.981 billion Pandoskans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Volnytsk. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Pandoskan economy, worth a remarkable 6,277 trillion Imperial Rubles a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 448,982 Imperial Rubles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Military pilots spend more time scraping feathers off their engines than flying their aircraft, the military will start wars with other nations on a lark, government agents scour baking periodicals for subversive recipes, and it's illegal to be caught on tape. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pandoska's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orthodox Jahovism.

Pandoska is ranked 280,219^th in the world and 61^st in Saint Helene for Safest, scoring 5.28 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.