The Kingdom of Yohaness is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by King Yamais-an-Mehram-an-Tajim with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-working, cynical population of 5.67 billion Yohanessians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sakatna. The average income tax rate is 46.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Yohanessian economy, worth 261 trillion Rosslans a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 46,040 Rosslans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

King Yamais-an-Mehram-an-Tajim has just been declared ruler of Yohaness in an international press conference, businesses have become paranoid as waves of lawsuits sweep the nation, the nation's politicians are acknowledged as the most polite in the region to the dismay of comedians everywhere, and eerie glow-in-the-dark cornfields give farmlands an uncanny appearance. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Yohaness's national animal is the The Yohan Horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Yohaness is ranked 98,552^nd in the world and 5,167^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 66.04 law-abiding acts per hour.