The Illuminus Empire of Wolfana is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Santa Claus with an even hand, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, enslaved workforce, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, devout population of 15.282 billion Wolfans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yggdrassil. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 60.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Wolfan economy, worth a remarkable 1,683 trillion Gold Brains a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,134 Gold Brains, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

Heavily-laden pregnant women are told they can manage, lawyers spend as much time preparing their make-up as they do their briefs, prankster scientists legally change their names to silly pseudonyms before major discoveries, and the government is spending billions of taxpayer Gold Brains to support "struggling" industries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Wolfana's national animal is the Rudolph Bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Athyism.

Wolfana is ranked 317,059^th in the world and 7^th in The Mystical Alliance for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 14.32 on the Kitten Softness Rating.