The Vilayets of The Dull Caliphate is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Sultan Abdulhamid III with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, public floggings, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, devout population of 7.278 billion Moslems are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ankara. The average income tax rate is 67.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming local economy, worth 669 trillion lire a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Retail, Book Publishing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 92,032 lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny, public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers, maritime signalling has become tedious since only the local flag can be displayed, and the nation claims that shipments labeled TNT stand for Treaty Negotiation Tools. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Dull Caliphate's national animal is the camel, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Islam.

The Dull Caliphate is ranked 79,315^th in the world and 337^th in the Outback for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.27 law-abiding acts per hour.