The South Pacific Pirate of Southern Bellz is a gargantuan, safe nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed population of 28.591 billion Southern Bellzians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social and economic equality; they tend to view other countries as corrupted by the hollow pageantry of sham elections.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Welfare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of BEAR CITY. The average income tax rate is 90.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The enormous but inefficient Southern Bellzian economy, worth a remarkable 1,124 trillion southern bells a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 39,322 southern bells, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Appendix transplant figures have recently doubled, eight year-olds with lemonade stands have been known to be locked up on charges of embezzlement, BEARISM has been named as Southern Bellz's national religion, and naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Southern Bellz's national animal is the BEAR, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is BEARISM.

Southern Bellz is ranked 10,073^rd in the world and 265^th in the South Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 5,489.61 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.