The Phenomenal of Socialist Republic of Cantonia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Lucía Jones with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working population of 2.637 billion Republic of Cantonians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Louis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Republic of Cantonian economy, worth 254 trillion Euros a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Retail. Average income is 96,572 Euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 314,134 per year while the poor average 22,368, a ratio of 14.0 to 1.

Telling someone to 'break a leg' is considered a criminal inducement to self harm, SROC-SPAN viewership drops as MPs act their age, bars are packed at all hours, and government officials go door-to-door educating about the dangers of pseudoscience. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Socialist Republic of Cantonia's national animal is the Red chak-chak, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Socialist Republic of Cantonia is ranked 52,478^th in the world and 3^rd in North Alliance for Most Cultured, scoring 71 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.