The Serene Principality of Smertolina is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Princess Martina Smertolinsky with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, compulsory military service, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 26.977 billion Smertolinans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cristofslazny. The average income tax rate is 30.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Smertolinan economy, worth a remarkable 4,797 trillion Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 177,836 Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Endocrinology is a rapidly growing field of study, tumbleweeds are seen blowing through the nation's airspace, prisoners due for execution often use their final statement to complain about soggy bread rolls, and the nation's generous tax credits have brought all the film studios to the yard. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Smertolina's national animal is the Black Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Smertolinan Catholic Church.

Smertolina is ranked 16,085^th in the world and 1^st in Sanctum Mare for Highest Average Incomes, with 177,836.12 Standard Monetary Units.