The Mercantile Coalition League of Samuelstani is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Samual I with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful, devout population of 19.338 billion Samuelstanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Svastian City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Samuelstanian economy, worth a remarkable 8,110 trillion Puppies a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Retail. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 419,412 Puppies, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

When their backs are against the walls Samuelstanians look out for gay men, police drones follow every suspected Peeping Tom, crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination, and feeling like a winner comes at a price. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Samuelstani's national animal is the Emperor Penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Samuelstani is ranked 4,090^th in the world and 31^st in Europeia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 121.51 law-abiding acts per hour.