The Democratic State of Retro Caliland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by President David Mathis with a fair hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, unlimited-speed roads, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 2.006 billion Calilandians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Avalon. The average income tax rate is 10.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Retro Calilandian economy, worth 223 trillion US Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 111,543 US Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's endangered species are no longer endangered, only those who apply can study applied maths, President David Mathis is considering changing the nation's name to Blackacre, and government election advice reads like a restaurant menu. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Retro Caliland's national animal is the Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Retro Caliland is ranked 39,401^st in the world and 1^st in I got tired of spam TGs for Most Cultured, scoring 75 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.