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August 13th, 2018

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Domestic | Interregional | Miscellanious

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NOTE: Due to the former Minister of Culture, Mazda-otta, resigning and Eldurgoth taking over, the modern RP lore has been restarted with a new timeline. Due to this, we have no news in the roleplay section.

Also, due to a lack of submissions to the Opinion section, we will remove it in future issues unless a submission has been received, this in order to lift some of the burden our writers endure.

Top Stories:

• New Minister of Culture restarts MRP [DOMESTIC]

• Auroran liberated [DOMESTIC]

• The Bar on Every Corner cancels embassy closure [INTERREGIONAL]

• The Ultimate Airstrike [MISCELLANIOUS]

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DOMESTIC

New Minister of Culture restarts MRP

The new Minister of Culture in all his glory

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DRISELBIA - A new Minister of Culture has been appointed by the Chancellor after the former one, Mazda-otta, swiftly resigned and left to join Trigori's breakaway region Montealba, in a move that surprised many roleplayers in the region. Eldurgoth, a man of Conventian descent with an extensive history of roleplaying in not only Driselbia but in other regions, has been named the new Minister of Culture and has already started a new, popular roleplay lore, one based on a time period just before WWI. So far it seems, Driselbia's roleplay has survived the unholy split.

The Post has sent Reporter Kintada to interview our new Minister of Culture. From him we heard about the new roleplay he is working on, his views on the current affairs of Driselbia, and on Ireland in his new roleplay.

Driselbian Post wrote:

What is your general goal as Minister of Culture?

Eldurgoth wrote:

My general goal as Minister of Culture is to succeed Mazda-Otta, his RP being the first truly successful Driselbian RP. It had lead to an era of stable and interactive RP, I don't want that to be lost as he sails away.

Driselbian Post wrote:

Can you tell us anything about the theme/setting of your new roleplay?

Eldurgoth wrote:

The theme as of the moment is a WW1 Alt-history RP, I think this mitigates some of the problems Mazda's RP faced with the numerous nuclear war crisis that led to a soft reset and overall a lot of issues when it came to conquest and war, something I think that truly drives RP.

Driselbian Post wrote:

Whats your history with the UCR? Why did you come to Driselbia from there?

Eldurgoth wrote:

I was with the UCR for a few months, in that time I was just a pleb but watching the higher ups and listening. I watched the RP, and talked in the Discord little more than that. The crisis that befell the UCR and led to the 3rd dissolution of it, was saddening to see because it was clear people truly cared for the region however the crimes of its then leader condemned the region absolutely.

Driselbian Post wrote:

Do you see any parallels between the UCR then and Driselbia now?

Eldurgoth wrote:

As of right now, no. I used to think so but Driselbia has its own set of problems, in the aftermath of Trigori's departure it is clear to me there is a different issue entirely befalling us. Whilst the UCR fell to the actions of one man, it's highly centralized empire's crimes, Driselbia is cracking from the actions and contrasting views of multiple people, but unlike the UCR it will continue to live and breath.

Driselbian Post wrote:

Previously, Driselbia has two roleplays: Modern and Fantasy. With the departure of those who created the fantasy world, what happens to the dual roleplay in Driselbia? Do you have plans for a second roleplay to be launched after the WWI-era roleplay? (Update: The Whermacht, the leader of the FRP lore, has returned from Montealba and the lore seems to be up and going to this day.

Eldurgoth wrote:

If people want it then of course. I mean, I loved the FRP and the MRP. If we were to develop it again, I'd very much approve of it. I may not be able to run it, but I'd love for it to live and I'd encourage it anyway I could. I think for right now, I'll focus on MRP. If the Monteabla boys returned they could have their own corner to do them too. We can have tons of roleplay going on, without all the politics.

Driselbian Post wrote:

Do you have plans for anything other than roleplay to come from the Ministry of Culture, or is RP your only focus?

Eldurgoth wrote:

RP is my main focus though I'm definitely wanting to ensure Driselbia can have more than that. We need to be unified and as the MoC, I can do that. We can be unified by Driselbian memes, jokes, and much more arising from Driselbia citizens. We should interact and immerse ourselves in a fun and light-hearted culture, if we cannot laugh and have fun whilst also role-playing seriously and having fun there then I would fail as MoC. I won't, let that happen. That's why I urge any citizen of Driselbia to join the Discord and interact at #the-bar and elsewhere.

Driselbian Post wrote:

I actually have a map concept for a RP, would you like to see it?

Eldurgoth wrote:

I have seen the map you made Kintada, shame on you and your cows you stole. I will make Ireland look a jigsaw puzzle and have Dublin be a Nordic slave market. I will have your people be in perpetual potato famine. YOU HEAR ME SEAMUS, I WILL MAKE IRELAND EUROPE'S SYRIA! ....in the RP sense of course :^))))))))))

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AURORAN LIBERATED

Driselbian soldiers securing the region

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DRISELBIA - The region of Auroran, a region of historical importance to Driselbia, has recently been liberated by the Driselbian Royal Army from the occupational army of the so-called Empire of Exus. The DRA swiftly took over the region with the help of a swarm of puppets that were sent to Auroran while the DRA simutaniously moved in to secure the region.

The region of Auroran was one of the regions that merged into Driselbia. It unified with the South East Asian Region, or SEAR, when Driselbia was a new region, being the fourth region to merge into Driselbia, after the initial three, Krumpelberg, PFQ and SEAR. This region had been lost to us for a significant time. After the region was abandoned, it ceased to exist. The region had since switched hands numerous times between various raider groups and small, enthusiastic, imperialist regions.

The Empire of Exus has as a response to the Driselbian liberation placed itself under lockdown, setting up a password in order to prevent the region from being invaded by Driselbian forces.

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MONTEALBAN IMMIGRATIONS WORRIES REGION

Flag of the 'tax haven' of Driselbia

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DRISELBIA - Recent immigration to Montealba from Driselbia has worried the leadership of the region after the region was founded by Trigori a while ago after a political scandal. The nations that left everything to join Montealba are all from former Krumpelberg. Since some of these nations were active members in Driselbian society, activity dropped somewhat after their departure, and their departure has even led to Driselbia's RP being shut down for several days.

One returnee has told the Post that the main reasons people, mostly former Krumpelbergers, packed up is due to several reasons: Trust in Trigori, Mazda-otta, lack of faith in Driselbian bureucracy and wanting to start anew.

The Driselbian government has responded by recruiting new nations, mostly people from former PFQ, and quickly appointing Eldurgoth as new Minister of Culture after Mazda-otta resigned shortly before his departure.

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NOTICES

• Driselbian Royal Army liberates Auroran, vows to 'take Exus too'

• MRP is going well, people showing interest

• 4 new people have joined Driselbia since August 11th

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THE BAR ON EVERY CORNER - Some of you may remember that in the last issue of the Driselbian Post, we talked about how The Bar on the corner of every region had ordered the closure of its embassy in Driselbia after protesting the raid that the Royal Driselbian Army launched against Nasunia. Any Driselbians who are regular customers at the bar will be happy to know that the situation has been sorted out diplomatically, and that the closure of the embassies have been cancelled.

Lake of Fur, the "guy in charge of the jukebox" of the bar indicated to King Qandaristania of Driselbia that the bar was changing its mind on the closure of the embassies, and the King agreed and cancelled the closure. We talked to King Qandaristania, and he says that he was in contact with the staff of the bar, and negotiated with them via telegram in order to stop this closure.

This comes despite the fact that Nasunia had made attempts to get regions to cancel their embassies with Driselbia. After the Driselbian Royal Army infiltrated Nasunia with spies, gained the trust of Nasunian leadership, and prepared the groundway for an invasion. When the Army's main force invaded they put a puppet of a Driselbian Royal Army member, named the Lorencian Nation, in power as WAD, before razing the region and retreating. In response, the Nasunians had held a poll in their region, asking the Nasunian Assembly to vote on a proposal which, if passed, would have asked Nasunia's allies to break off relations with Driselbia. However, this motion was losing overwhelmingly and so was cancelled.

THE REJECTED REALMS - A nation in the Rejected Realms has allegedly found the light, by finding the 'truth' regarding the World Assembly. In a dispatch called 'The WA is not your friend', Tevehas explains the alleged links between the World Assembly and the spooky 'New World Order'.

According to the dispatch, there are satanic forces within the World Assembly that want to undermine nations in the NationStates universe. The dispatch calls for nations to abandon the World Assembly, citing that it's just 'not your friend'.

We're aware of its sarcastic undertones, which many readers of the dispatch will enjoy.

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NOTICES

• Driselbia-TAF talks on diplomatic ties

• Nasunia refers to Driselbia as a 'puppet dump' in its newspaper

• Szabor announces merger into Driselbia as 'a last resort'

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Advertisement

Comedy Stage
Unwind and laugh with us as we share with you this week's best jokes[/font]

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The Newsroom, Driselbian Post (@driselbianpost.com)
^{August 13th, 2018 | MISCELLANIOUS}

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Welcome to the comedy stage! Get a snack, a cold hot Fanta and sit, sip, and read!

MISCELLANIOUS - Hello and welcome to the comedy stage! Sit back and enjoy your cold Fanta, get a snack and read the latest comedy with us. We hope you enjoy them!

Numbers

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers. “Yes,” he said. “My father taught me.”

“Good. What comes after three?”

“Four,” answered the boy.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven.”

“Very good,” said the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. And what comes after 10?”

“Jack.”

The man and the penguins

A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?”

The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”
“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.

The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer said.

“I did,” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach."

And now, some relevant Polandball comics!
The Ultimate Airstrike

National Anthems

Ottoman Struggles

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MESSAGE FROM THE NEWSROOM

Newsroom working hard to provide the latest issue to you[/font]
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The Newsroom, Driselbian Post (@driselbianpost.com)
^{August 13th, 2018 | MISCELLANIOUS}


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And now a quick message from the newsroom!

MISCELLANIOUS What's up guys! issue 11 now in all its glory, in front of your eyes, on your screen. Anyway, we need new writers since we're about to change the way the Post works soon.

We're however still looking for reporters and journalists who could help us develop this newspaper to become something much better and deeper than it is now. If you're interested in taking part in the newspaper, then please contact the chief editor Qandaristania!

Hail Driselbia,

Qandaristania, Muscovqing, Bordurian Islands, and Kintada of the Driselbian Post newsroom

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