by Max Barry

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Versailles Isle RMB

WA Delegate: None.

Founder: The Jump Point Maintainer of SPSF and Friends

Last WA Update:

Board Activity History Admin Rank

Most Nations: 279th
World Factbook Entry

South Pacific Special Forces Official Jump Point
Nulli Secundus!

All operations are run from our LinkDiscord server. Feel free to join, either to participate or just to banter.

Please contact the Minister of Military Affairs Aumeltopia or General United States of Vietnam, Federation of the Resentine Kingdom and Roavin with any inquiries.

Feel free to make any poll if you ever tag this place.

Feel free to use this as a jump point or puppet storage although we can stop you from doing that at any time without any reason.

Embassies: the South Pacific, Yuno, NS April Fools Day Jokes, United Coalition of Sepia Steve, Doll Guldur, Nazi Imperialist Japan, Nations for Total Fascism, Lily, Spear Danes, Central Quark, Exshaw, United Federation of Planetz, Thanksgiving, The Kingdom of Leroged, Brasilistan, I P A N B E, and 68 others.The Arkturian Empire, Reichsfolk, Axis Pact, Weed, The Outlands, Transturkistan, The Natanless Region, Kennan, Alpha Quadrant, Roavin, New Pandora, The Bank, United Imperial Union, Union of Free and Independant States, Coalition of Unified Bretheren, Qasanjja, UK1, Westgate, the UN, Warzone Australia, Jannali, Cladonia, The United American Empire, The Union of Fascist Lands, The Unknown Regions, Villa, Carthage, Orange Empire, Christmas, Figure 8, Aethia Hallett, Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage, Le Chatlier, Lardyland, Good Vibes Only, Danger Zone, The Great Derpy Ocean, The Dragon slayers, The Battle Guard, Shrayan Bose, Everything, United Assembly of Fascist Workers, Unionized Federation of Peoples, Land of the OG, Someone New, Storm Nation, Independence Pacific, Great Britian, Llama Lava Lake, The Plains of Journalsim, The United Intellectual Nations, HonraePatria, TSP Next, Hired Contractors, Oaklands College Politics, Abydos, The great alliance of jsuv, Alucinor, Katsuragi, Galaea, Ramennudler, Vesper Sanctuary, The allied nations of Nova, Magna Europa, Pacific Islands, Trainwreck, Meat Rack, and Brasil.

Tags: Anti-Fascist, Democratic, Featured, Game Player, Independent, Jump Point, Medium, and Puppet Storage.

Versailles Isle contains 49 nations, the 279th most in the world.

Today's World Census Report

The Largest Gambling Industry in Versailles Isle

The World Census tailed known underworld figures in order to determine which nations have the largest gambling industries.

As a region, Versailles Isle is ranked 8,089th in the world for Largest Gambling Industry.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Republic of MAF-Raider-10Capitalist Paradise“Motto...”
2.The Propaganda agency of SPSF Recruitment OfficesAnarchy“Nulli Secundus!”
3.The Roavinian SPSF Puppet of Kutumal XXVInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Lux Veritas Virtus”
4.The Fashy Bashy of Kutumal XVICivil Rights Lovefest“Lux Veritas Virtus”
5.The Roavinian SPSF Puppet of Kutumal XXLibertarian Police State“Lux Veritas Virtus”
6.The Roavinian SPSF Puppet of Kutumal XVIINew York Times Democracy“Lux Veritas Virtus”
7.The Roavinian SPSF Puppet of Kutumal XMoralistic Democracy“Lux Veritas Virtus”
8.The Roavinian SPSF Puppet of Kutumal XXIVInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Lux Veritas Virtus”
9.The Roavinian SPSF Puppet of Kutumal XXIXInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Lux Veritas Virtus”
10.The Roavinian SPSF Puppet of Kutumal XXVIIIInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Lux Veritas Virtus”

Regional Happenings


Versailles Isle Regional Message Board

Please enjoy these musicals, straight from Narrowway in TSP!


Act I

In the Mermaid camps, prisoners work hard, working on production lines to satisfy their daily quotas for unknown materials. ("A Song of Labour and Hardship"). We meet a prisoner, Escade, one of the first and most respected prisoners after she breaks up a fight between two mermaids in rival gangs, reminding them of who they should the placing their anger against ("Imprisonment"). After 14 years in prison (five for stealing a coral necklace to give to her dying mother, and the rest for trying to escape), Escade, "Prisoner 103", is released on parole by the policeman Pencil Sharpeners 2. Escade wonders if her punishment was deserved, and asks herself if the theft for her mother was worth it ("Coral"). By law, Escade must bear a blue tattoo on her arm, which identifies her as an ex-convict ("On Parole"). As a convict and mermaid in TSP society, Escade is shunned wherever she goes and cannot find regular work with decent wages or lodging, but the kind and rich Duke Tilipria offers her food and shelter. Desperate and embittered, Escade steals the Duke's silver and flees from the castle, disappearing into the night ("What Have I Become?"). She is captured by Pencil Sharpeners 2, but rather than turn her in, the Duke lies and tells the police that the silver was a gift, giving Escade a coral necklace in addition, the same kind that she was sent to prison for stealing. The Duke tells Escade that she must use the money "to become an honest mermaid" and that he has "bought Escade's soul for Cthulu" ("Forgiveness for a Mermaid"). Ashamed and humbled by the Duke's kindness, Escade resolves to redeem her sins ("Escade's Soliloquy"). She cuts away at the tattoo, scarring herself and breaking her parole but giving herself a chance to start a new life free from the stigma of her imprisonment.

Eight years later Escade has assumed a new identity as Erinor, a wealthy prison owner of the same prison she once was incarcerated in and Delegate of TSP. She has changed everything about herself, even going so far as to destroy her beautiful tail to have legs and end her continuing persecution as a mermaid. No longer does she have to live in fear, an upstanding citizen ("Look At Me Now").Si-topia is a single mermaid working in this prison after selling herself to it, trying to support her son, Midand, who is being raised by the tavern owner Nova Montron while Si-topia labours in the prison. Unbeknown to Erinor, the prison warden, Malayan singapura, lusts after Si-topia, and when she rejects his advances ("Please, I'm Begging You"), he takes it out on the other prisoners, who resent her for it ("Just Give In"). One day, a fellow prisoner steals a letter about Midand from Si-topia, revealing to the other inmates that Si-topia has a child. A fight breaks out, and the and other prisoners uses the incident as a pretence to fire Si-topia ("It's Over") and take back what they paid for her service. Si-topia reflects on her broken dreams and about Midand's father, who abandoned them both ("What Youth Gave and Took Away"). Desperate for money, she sells everything, finally becoming a slave to a brothel ("Rock Bottom"). When she fights back against an abusive customer,Aramanchovia ("No Means Yes"), Pencil Sharpeners 2, now a Military Leader stationed in TSP, arrives to arrest her. But Erinor, passing by the scene, pities Si-topia, and when he realises she once worked for him and that she blames him for her misfortune, he is guilt-stricken. He orders Pencil Sharpeners 2 to release her and take her to a hospital ("The Guilt of a Rich Man"). However, Si-topia, panicked, decides she cannot take what her life has become anymore and breaks the coral necklace Erinor wears under his shirt, using one of the shards to slit her own throat. With her last breaths she begs Erinor to find her son and take care of him. Erinor tearfully agrees, crying out that he will not let that boy suffer as he once did as a young merman ("Not Like Me"). He carefully gathers up the coral pieces that have fallen around him and restrings them as Si-topia's body is taken away.

PS2, who has up until now not recognised Escade as Erinor, though he has pursued her as a fugitive all these years, witnesses the incident and becomes suspicious, remembering Escade's attachment to coral necklaces. But it turns out another mermaid who matches the description of Escade has been arrested, and is about to go to trial for breaking parole. The real Escade realises that this case of mistaken identity could free her forever, but she's not willing to see an innocent mermaid go to prison in her place and so confesses her identity to the court after running there from the scene of Si-topia's death ("The Courthouse Confession"). Pencil Sharpeners 2 arrives to take Escade/Erinor back into custody, but Escade asks PS2 for time to get Midand and get him set up with the wealth she has acumulated over the years, determined to do something good before she is sent to the labour camps once more. PS2 refuses, insisting that a mermaid like Escade can never change or do good ("No Good Mermaids"). They struggle against one another, but Escade overpowers PS2 and strikes him over the head, killing him ("The Murder").

In Knowhere, the kind tavern keep, Nova Montron, treats Midand well, as the son he never had. However, his wife, Havenfell, sees Midand as a slave when Montron is not around and treats him cruelly, beating him into silence so he does not have the will to tell Montron about what she does. Midand dreams of a life with a mother where he is not forced to work and is treated lovingly, but knows that to leave would break Montron's heart. He laments his situation, with no solution making everyone happy, having to figure out whether his own happiness is worth the sorrow of others ("Stuck in the Middle"). Escade, disguised as Erinor again, meets Midiand while he's on an errand hauling a crate of bags of flour, and discovers that the boy he is speaking to is Si-topia's boy, the one he had been searching for for months. He follows along with Midand to the tavern and offers the couple payment to adopt him ("The Transaction"). Havenfell is perfectly willing to sell Midand, but Montron loves the boy and is unwilling to part with him. He demands that Erinor leave, but something in Erinor snaps and he goes into a fury. The stage goes dark for several seconds before red lights flood the stage, revealing the dead and broken bodies of Montron and Havenfell, with Midand cowering in the corner in fear. Erinor is in the middle of the stage, breathing heavily, blood covering his hands. Midand cries out in fear at what Erinor has done as the man justifies his actions ("Guilty, Not Guilty"). He demands that Midand follow him, that they are going back to TSP, but Midand refuses until Erinor knocks the boy unconscious, ties him up, and drags him along the road, on their way to TSP ("Homeward Bound").

Nine years later, TSP is in upheaval because of the impending death of the Minister of War, Roavin, the only man in the government who shows mercy to the mermaids. Among those mingling in the streets are the criminal revolutionaries New Haudenosaunee Confederacy and Hanguk-Nippon, who contemplate idly the effect Roavin's death will have on the mermaid minority in TSP, who already on the brink of revolt ("He Said, She Said"). Tim Stark, who runs a street gang which consists of thugs, find out that a wealthy human man and his son are going to be taking an evening stroll through the area where he operates. Tim prepares to con these people, who turn out to be Erinor and Midand, who has grown into a handsome young man. While the gang bamboozles his "father", Midand runs into Tim, and the pair fall in love at first sight, only being a few years apart in age ("What Could This Be?"). Before they can finish the robbery, PS2 comes to the rescue, having survived the blow to the head from nine years ago ("Rescue"). Erinor and Midand escape, with Midand longingly looking back at Tim, and only later (when Tim tips him off, to hopefully find Midand again) does PS2 suspect who they were. He makes a vow to himself that he will find Erinor/Escade and recapture her ("Justice"). Meanwhile, Tim enlists his urchins and thugs to see if they can learn any more about Midand ("Find Him").

At a small tavern, the same one Montron used to own, NHC exhorts a group of mermaids and mermaid sympathisers to prepare for revolution. Tim, one of the revolutionaries, interrupts the serious atmosphere by fantasising about his new-found love, much to the amusement of his compatriots, particularly the wine-loving Hanguk-Nippon ("Fighting for Equality, Not Love"). When one of Tim's urchins brings the news of Roavin's death, the students realise that they can use the Mermaids' dismay to incite their revolution and that their time has come ("A Song of Hope"). At Erinor's house, in the garden, Midand thinks about his meeting with Tim and later confronts Erinor about the secrets he keeps about their own past ("Why Do You Lie to Me?"). One of the urchins, the same who has been running all of Tim's errands, finds Erinor's home and leads Tim there. He and Midand meet again and confess their mutual love, while a heartbroken Beepee, the main urchin watches them through the garden gate and laments that Tim has fallen in love with another ("Bitter Love"). Outside in TSP, riots are breaking out among the Mermaids who are demanding their freedom, and Erinor's wealthy neighbourhood is overrun with an angry mob. Several dozen rioters break into Erinor's house, but Beepee stops them, risking his life by screaming a warning ("The Scream of a Scorned Urchin"). The scream alerts Erinor, who believes that the intruder is PS2. He bursts down into the garden with a gun and shoots, both dispelling the mob and injuring Midand in the process ("Chaos and Misery"). Upon finding out about the relationship between Midand and Tim, Erinor forbids Midand from contacting Tim, for fear that Midand might get mixed up in the growing revolution ("For Your Own Good").

The riots are quelled that day by extreme actions by the government, and hundreds of Mermaids are killed. All prisons are ordered to begin killing their Mermaid prisoners, and Mermaids who leave their homes are subject to "searches", which inevitably lead to them being arrested. PS2 walks the streets and sees his officers attack the Mermaids with glee, and wonders what he is really fighting for ("Justice or Revenge?"). In the end he decides that orders are orders and he must follow through with what he has been told, refusing to lose faith in the system "Loyal Soldier".


The stage is dark and cut into three scenes, each separated by a wall.

First, the rightmost part of the stage is lit up, with what can be seen as PS2 as a young police officer on his first patrol with his partner. They discuss the Mermaids, and why they are persecuted. PS2, filled with youthful exuberance, declares that the Mermaids are evil and must be put to death, because they pose a threat to society ("Menace"). His partner warns that it is best not to jump to conclusions, and that Mermaids are just like everyone else. He says that just because you are told to do something doesn't make it right. PS2 seems to come around until the two are attacked by a random gang of Mermaids, who beat his partner and him. The gang runs off when PS2 fires his gun, killing one of the members, who happens to be Escade's father. He swears that he will exact his revenge as his partner dies in his arms ("Revenge").

The centre scene lights up, showing a warm kitchen and a Mermaid mother seated next to her young daughter, teaching her what it means to be a Mermaid. Through the song it is revealed that the daughter is Escade and her mother is singing to her, the same thing she sang about when released from prison, wondering what it means to be a Mermaid. Her mother comforts her daughter, giving her an old piece of coral, all she can afford, and saying that a Mermaid is nothing without her coral ("Coral, Reprise").

The leftmost scene is lit up, showing a small bedroom, with a woman in the bed and Escade, still with her tail, at her side. It is revealed that the woman is Escade's mother, and she shows her mother a coral necklace that she stole for her, hoping to brighten her final days. In between wracking coughs her mother tells her that coral isn't what Mermaid's are all about, but it represents who they are. Each organism that makes up the coral builds on those that came before it, and from that the beauty of the coral can be created. Mermaids are not about their looks or what they possess, but rather who they are and how they seek to improve the world ("We Are Mermaids"). Her mother begins to cough more, and Escade begins to sing a lullaby to her mother ("Goodbye Mother"). Eventually the mother goes still and Escade throws herself on her, weeping bitter tears. The door begins to pound and police demand she open up the doors as the stage goes black.

Act II

Act II opens on the Mermaids building a barricade in TSP, two weeks after the first Act. The Mermaids are still being massacred, but hundreds have banded together to fight for freedom. PS2, disguised as a rebel, volunteers to "spy" on the government troops ("A Little Rat"). Tim has joined the Mermaid and writes a letter to Midand, still recovering from being shot, revealing that he has had to side with his conscience and their people, and that their love will see him through the coming battle. Erinor intercepts the letter and learns about Tim and Midand's continued romance, and rips the letter apart, furious that Midand has disobeyed his orders ("Betrayal"). Beepee walks the streets of Paris alone, imagining that Tim is there with him, but laments that his love for Marius will never be reciprocated ("Alone With My Thoughts"). He decides without love his life is nothing, and prepares to jump off of the bridge before another urchin, UnitedStatesofMrloong, climbs onto the railing professes her love for Beepee, begging him to realise there is love out there for everyone ("Love is in the Air"). Desperate to be loved Beepee agrees, but when getting down USOML slips off the wrong side of the bridge and falls into the river below, their body whisked under by the current. Beepee, in shock, walks away.

The TSP Military, led by Quiescent, arrives at the barricade and Quiescent demands that the Mermaids surrender ("It's Not Worth It/ Neither Are You"). The Mermaids refuse and start to hurl rocks at Quiescent and her guards, and they retreat, vowing to return at dawn. Beepee, still in a stupor, has made his way to the barricade to find Tim but is killed by a rock to the head. The Mermaids, alarmed that one of their own is dead, go out to retrieve the body. As Tim holds Beepee, he assures Tim that he feels no pain and reveals his love for him before dying in his arms ("A Final Confession"). The mermaids mourn this first loss of life at the barricades and resolve to fight in Beepee's name, somehow twisting the facts so that they believe Beepee was shot by the military ("Fighting for Beepee"). Erinor arrives at the barricade, hoping that he might somehow protect Tim in the coming battle as he realises that if the Mermaids are not saved, Midand will eventually be taken away and killed. The Mermaids are suspicious of him at first, but when the army attacks at dawn ("A New Dawn/ The Mermaids Will Die"), Erinor saves NHC and they accept him as one of them. In return, he asks NHC to be the one to execute PS2 ("Revenge, Reprise"), who is hidden in their ranks unknown to all, which NHC grants. In the coming battle the Mermaids valiantly fight, but one by one they die and the barricade begins to fall ("The Silence of Defeat").

In the end only Erinor and Tim make it out alive, heading for the sewers, where they meet Midand, who Erinor had told to hide down there in case the government came to their house. Suddenly Tim collapses as his adrenaline fails and it is shown he has been shot. Midand cries for him, but they laugh at how they have matching wounds ("Brothers In Love"). They sing of heartbreak and love, and of their families who gave them the strength to keep going. As the song continues they realise with horror that they are related, and Midand reveals to Erinor that they have already consummated their relationship. The scene goes black again, but this time when the lights go up Midand is holding Erinor's hand, keeping him from killing Tim, his love. In a fury Erinor reveals how Midand's mother, Si-topia, had made him promise to give a better life to her son, and then shows Midand that he is not his adoptive father, but rather his adoptive mother. Midand, tired of all of the betrayal and lies, goes into a fury. The lights go dark once more, and when they arise they are blood red, and both Escade and Tim are dead on the ground, Midand's hands covered in blood. He remarks on how similar he is to Erinor, or Escade, or whoever it was that raised him ("Nature or Nurture?").

Above the Mermaids continue to be forced into the prisons by PS2 and Quiescent and put to death as Midand walks away in the sewers, out of TSP and away from the troubles within.

Read dispatch


Act I

The Spammers and citizens of TSP cheer at the news that the Terrible Tyrant, Auphelia, is dead. ("No One Mourns a Tyrant"). Havenfell arrives and a TSPer asks her if she and Auphelia were friends. She reluctantly admits that they were, leading Havenfell to tell them the story of how they became friends. A flashback starts with a scene at the opening of the LC Administation Centre, a part of TSP University, where Auphelia arrives. Auphelia was the daughter of Queen Yuno - but it is heavily implied that she is the product of an a magical spell gone wrong and a mysterious stranger and his bottle of "green elixir", which as a result Auphelia was born with evil within her. Her mother resented her and showered her affection on her younger brother, Midand, who is physically disabled and has several robotic parts to get around. The two siblings both are new Councillors of TSP University, where the beautiful and popular Havenfell is an equally new colleague of theirs. ("Dear Old TSP"). As their mother says goodbye, she gives Midand a pair of silver slippers, to remember their home in TEP. As soon as they arrive two local grumps, Bear Connors Paradiso and Tilipria, begin to complain about Auphelia's oddities ("Wet Blankets"). The headmaster, Master Erinor, decides to take Midand under his protection, leaving Aupehlia and Havenfell as roommates, much to their chagrin. Auphelia attempts to take back her brother, and her anger manifests physically in an explosion of rage, leading her to eat her first victim ("Poor Old Razzle Dazzle"). Master Erinor recognises that she has special powers and decides to teach her Suppression. He tells Auphelia that her powers might allow her to work with the Magnificent Magician of TSP as a Minister, something Auphelia has dreamed of ("The Magician and I"). All of this does little to endear Auphelia to Havenfell and the feeling is mutual ("What is this Feeling?"). They fight constantly, even in Council Meetings, such as their Disciplinary Hearings with their superior, Professor Pencil Sharpeners 2, the one of the only Animal officials at the university beginning to suffer from discrimination. He tells Auphelia that there is a conspiracy to stop the Animals from speaking, and she wants to let the Magician know, for he would surely stop it ("Something Wicked"). She begins to lament about how she cannot do everything on her own, and she needs someone to be there for her ("So Limited").

Meanwhile, Prince New Haudenosaunee Confederacy has arrived in TSP and shares his life philosophy ("Spamming Through Life"). They all decide to have a party that evening, against the advice of the neighbourhood curmudgeons ("Wet Blankets, Reprise"). Techolandia, a Spammer who has developed a crush on Havenfell, tries to invite her to the party, but she convinces him instead to ask Midand out of pity, leaving her free to go with NHC. Midand is delighted and tells his sister how Havenfell helped it happen. When Havenfell gifts an ugly Suppression Shield to Auphelia to use at the party, Auphelia takes it as an act of kindness. At the party that evening, Techolandia tries to tell Midand the real reason he invited him but is too nice to hurt his feelings. He continues to fall for him. Master Erinor arrives to tell Havenfell that she can join her Suppression class, at Auphelia's obliging request ("Everything's Coming Up Havenfell"). Auphelia herself arrives, wearing the Local Councillor's Shield, only to find the other government officials and invited guests laughing and staring while she awkwardly dances alone. Havenfell feels regretful and goes to dance with Auphelia. Soon everyone joins them, and the two girls look at each other in a new light ("What is this Feeling?, Reprise").

Back in their room, they continue to bond. Havenfell decides to give Auphelia a makeover to maker her appeal more to voters ("Friendlier"). When Auphelia arrives at class the next day, NHC sees Havenfell's influence and tells Auphelia that she doesn't need to change. ("Stay True To You"). Professor PS2 enters to tell the class that he has been excommunicated and dismissed from the CRS. Auphelia wants to help, but no one will stand up with her. Afterward, the students are introduced to the Cage, which will keep Animals controlled, so that they never learn to speak and join the government. Auphelia's fury cannot be contained, and in the ensuing chaos, she and NHC steal the Mermaid in the cage and escape ("Escade's Escape"). They are hunted down by the rest of the government and in the ensuing chaos NHC is killed. Havenfell, having witnessed this event, talks to Auphelia about what happened, and the two mourn for NHC, who never was able to succeed ("Always Coming Up Short").

Havenfell is disillusioned about what transpired, but she is taken by Auphelia's passion. She begins to fall in love with her and they share a tender moment before she leaves to free the lion cub. Auphelia reminds herself that it's pointless to wish for something to happen between them ("I'm Not that Girl"). Mister Erinor comes and tells her that the Magician has decided to meet her. Midand and Havenfell come to see her off, and noted revolutionary Farengeto meets her too ("Never Farenget (Forget)"). Havenfell, awestruck, tries to win his respect by changing her name to "Havenfull", in solidarity with Professor PS2, who always mispronounced her name. But Farengeto isn't impressed, saying goodbye to Auphelia instead. Auphelia invites Havenfell to the Golden City with her ("One Short Day, Forever").

The girls meet the Magician, who turns out to be not quite as intimidating as they thought ("A Bureaucratic Man"). He promises Auphelia that he will grant her request if she proves herself. Master Erinor appears; he is revealed to be the Magicians's puppet ("Strings Attached" or "Power Comes At A Price"). He gives Auphelia an ancient book of spells, called the "TSP Legal Code," which only the magically gifted can read. Auphelia is asked to try a simple spell on the Magician's clone servant, Quiescent. However, the spell doesn't go the way Auphelia plans when Quiescent sprouts pillows and falls asleep, and she realises that the Magician is the one behind the suppression of the Animals. It turned out all of the clones are now asleep on pillows, no longer a threat to the Magician's power. ("Silent Fury"). Auphelia a realises that the Magician has no powers; he is merely a fraud. Auphelia grows upset and blasts the Magician, stripping his costume away and revealling him to be Roavin, a figure so surrounded my myth and mystery that he is nothing more than a bedtime story. He offers her and Havenfell everything they've ever wanted if they will help him, but Auphelia is unwilling to comply. She runs away, and in order to prevent the truth from getting out, Mister Erinor spreads reports that Auphelia is "tyrannical". This only reaffirms Auphelia's belief that she must not let anyone hold her down. She performs a spell on a suppression shield and flies for the first time ("Flying Above It All").

Act II

Some time later, Auphelia's opposition of the Magician's regime has earned her the title "The Tyrannical Terror". Midand has become the positive public front of the Magician's regime, given the title "Midand the Mature" and positioned by Erinor as the nation's defender against the Tyrant. A press conference to celebrate Havenfell's appointment as Captain of the Guard (a position she has accepted in order to find Auphelia) is hijacked by the crowd's panicked rumours about the Tyrant, including a story that she will be melted by sad Broadway songs. Havenfell is incredulous and not convinced by Midand's insistence that Auphelia does not want to be found. She is further angered when Erinor announces his engagement to Farengeto, now a servant to the Magician, having given up his revolutionary ways, and runs off. Midand attempts to keep a cheerful front for the press, but it is clear he realises he has stolen the dream life of Havenfell, and it has come at a great price ("What Have I Done?").

Auphelia pays a visit to Queen Yuno, seeking guidance. Yuno has taken away the rights of the Spammers in a desperate attempt to keep Techolandia (who only stays because he is sorry for her, that she is facing so much opposition) at her side, having fallen in love with him after Midand lost interest. Auphelia tries to convince her mother to side with her against the Magician, but Yuno is more concerned with her own problems. Auphelia tries to help by giving Yuno the power to become a Queen forever by turning the silver slippers into the "Ruby Slippers" ("What Wondrous Magic"). Convinced that Techolandia must love her now, Yuno calls for him, but he only sees this as proof that she doesn't need him anymore. Hurt, Yuno takes Auphelia's spell book and tries to cast a spell to make Techolandia fall in love with her. However, the spell backfires, hitting Midand, who came to visit, making him the "The Slimy Suppressor" and shrinking Techolandia's heart. Midand flees in horror at the new evil within himself as Auphelia works another spell to save Techolandia's life, if in a slightly different condition than he was before. When Techolandia awakens, he is disgusted at his new state as a man made of tin, and Yuno tells him it was Auphelia who did this to him.

Auphelia returns to the Magician's palace to free the Clone servants and comes across the Magician himself. He tries once again to convince her to work with him, telling her that he is not evil - just an average man who came into his position by chance, led to stay by the reverence of the TSPers, and he offers to redeem Auphelia's reputation ("Redemption"). She is almost won over until she sees Proffessor PS2, who has lost the power of speech. Havenfell and the guards enter, followed by Midand. Havenfell helps Auphelia escape and decides to leave with her. Though he was broken-hearted, Midand reminds the Magician and Erinor that the way to recapture Auphelia is to make her think her family is in trouble, and she will come to their rescue. He mourns that Havenfell does not love him ("I'm Not that Boy"), as Erinor and the Magician plot.

In the skies above TSP, Auphelia and Havenfell are both taken by surprise by the strength of their feelings for each other, and promise to be together always ("As Long As You're Mine"). Their happiness is interrupted when Auphelia suddenly has a vision of a spaceship flying through the sky and Midand being in danger. Before Auphelia leaves to investigate, Havenfell tells her about a loophole in the TSP Legal Code, something the audience cannot hear. They split up on the way, each needing to spend a few days apart on the trip, knowing that such quick love can only bring pain.

Havenfell and Auphelia meet again at the site, in Yuno's Queendon of TSP, where Midand has been crushed by a spaceship with a girl named Si-topia inside. Fuelled by the rivalry over the slippers, the Auphelia and Si-topia have a heated argument. The guards arrive, and Auphelia guesses that Havenfell arranged for all of this, the real reason Havenfell suggested they split up so she could tell the Magician. Farengeto arrives as well, having decided his revolutionary ideals cannot be crushed and holds Havenfell hostage until Auphelia can escape, taking Si-topia with her to extract future revenge for the murder of her brother. Havenfell pleads for the guards not to harm him, but they don't listen as they escort Farengeto to the field where they execute him for treason. They then take Havenfell and torture her until they discover the location of Auphelia's destination. Auphelia tries to cast a spell to protect her but is crestfallen by the limitations of her power. She decides that from this point on, she will live up to her reputation as the Tyrannical Terror ("No Good Deed").

Meanwhile, the citizens of TSP, spurred on by Erinor and Techolandia's testimony of Auphelia's horror, prepare for a witch hunt to help rescue Si-topia from the clutches of the Terrible Tyrant. Havenfell has realised Erinor, who can control the borders, is responsible for Midand's death, but when she confronts her, Erinor tells her that there is blood on her hands as well. Havenfell flees in horror to warn Auphelia as the angry mob sets out to her Tyrannical Tower to kill her. ("March of the Tyrant Slayers").

Back at the Tyrannical Tower, Auphelia has caged Si-topia, refusing to release her until she relinquishes Midand's slippers – the only things left of her dead brother, that gift from their mother all that time ago. Havenfell travels to Aupehlia's tower to warn her of the danger and persuade her to let Si-topia go. Auphelia refuses until she receives a letter saying that Professor PS2 has died. The two women forgive each other, acknowledging they have both made mistakes. To help her in her future, Auphelia gives the TSP Legal Code to Havenfell. The two friends embrace for the last time before saying goodbye ("For Good"). As the mob arrives, Auphelia tells Havenfell to hide, and she watches helplessly from the shadows as Si-topia begins to sing a sad song ("Isn't That Sad?") at Auphelia, who appears to disintegrate. Shaken, Havenfell sees that all that remains of her friend is her Suppression Shield and the small bottle of green elixir.

In the Golden City, Havenfell confronts the Magician with Auphelia's bottle, which he recognises as identical to his own. He was Auphelia's biological father and the cause of her evil. He breaks down in sorrow, and Erinor surmises that Auphelia's powers were so strong because she was a child of two regions. With the TSP Legal Code, Havenfell banishes the Magician from TSP and sends Erinor to prison for murder.

Meanwhile, back at the tower, Quiescent, a blanket clone, comes to the spot where Auphelia was killed. Making sure that no one is watching, she knocks on the floor and out from a trap door steps Auphelia, very much alive; the entire thing was a ruse to convince her enemies of her death and to ensure her future survival and the freedom of the Animals and Clones. Before leaving, Auphelia regrets that she'll never see Havenfell again and tell her that she is alive. Simultaneously, returning to the musical's starting point, Havenfell promises the people of TSP to properly earn her title as the Magician. As the people celebrate led by a revolutionary colleague of Farengeto, North Prarie, ("No One Mourns a Tyrant, Reprise") and Havenfell mourns, Auphelia and Quiescent leave TSP together, leading a crowd of Animals and Clones, freed from their bonds by Auphelia's magic. ("Finale")


After the stage has gone back and the cast come to take their bows, the stage goes dark and silent, but the lights do not come up. Si-topia walks on stage, into the office of the Magician, now Havenfell. By Havenfell's side is the TSP Legal Code. Emboldened by her murder of Auphelia, Si-topia announces to herself that she will one day be the leader of TSP, as Auphelia could have been, claiming herself to be the successor of her magical power ("Like Mother, Like Daughter"). Her words seem to rouse Havenfell from her slumber, but Si-topia uses her voice to put the Magician back to sleep. She then takes the TSP Legal Code and leave stage, as the stage fades to black and she sings the final song, ("What The Future Holds").

Read dispatch


Act I

One stormy night TSP, thunder booms, making Aumeltopia cry in fear ("The Storm"). To comfort her, her mother, Land Without Shrimp tells her the story of Si-topia, a citizen who falls in love with a government official, Midand, while they both lean against the trunk of a large tree whose leaves protect them from the storm. In this story, four gods (Auphelia, Mother of the Earth; Erinor, Father of the Ocean; Escade, Goddess of Love; and Tilipria, God of Death) rule the Southern Pacific where poor peasants worship them and rich government officials scoff at their legends ("The Gods and The Men"). The peasants live on one side of the Southern Pacific, and the government officials live on the other side. One day, Erinor unleashes a terrible storm upon the island, which in turn causes a disastrous flood, wiping out many villages and killing many villages. However, Auphelia has mercy and saves the life of a little orphan named Si-topia by placing her in a tree above the flood's waves ("Mother Loves You"). She is found and adopted by the peasants Quiescent and The Navian Islands ("This Little Girl").

Years afterwards, a grown-up Si-topia prays to the gods to let her know her purpose, and to let her be like the powerful government officials that occasionally pass near her village ("Waiting For The Future"). Hearing her plea, the gods laugh at her, Auphelia explaining to the other gods how much she has already given the girl ("Too Much is Not Enough"). However, Escade says that she will give the girl the power of love, proclaiming it to be the most powerful of the elements. Offended, Erinor and Auphelia leave in anger, grumbling to each other, while Tilipria proposes a bet to Escade to prove which is stronger: love or death. They get Auphelia and Erinor to come back and the gods devise a plan to see who will win, with Auphelia and Erinor as judges and facilitators of the bet. Each god will be allowed to give Si-topia one gift in this competition, to be used however they see fit. Erinor arranges for the ship of Midand, a young government official, to crash during a storm so that Si-topia may meet him and heal him ("It Begins"). Despite the objections of the other peasants including her own parents, Si-topia helps the rich man recover ("Healing"). Si-topia falls in love with the stranger and as she cares for the unconscious man, she imagines he loves her too. When Tilipria comes to take Midand's life, Si-topia cries out and blocks the arm of Tilipria, offering her life in exchange for Midand's so that he will not die ("I Will Be Yours"). Tilipria is angry that Escade has won this first round but, hinting he will return – sooner or later, as her life now belongs to him ("You Will Be Mine"). The gods meet, with Auphelia and Erinor both deciding to award a point to Escade. Tilipria storms off and soon Erinor and Escade leave as well, chatting, as Auphelia begins to sing, wondering why her children have to be so divided ("The Gods and The Men, Reprise").

Tired of his daughter always fawning over the unconscious Government Official man, The Navian Islands travels to the other side of the Southern Pacific to seek Midand's family. When he returns, he brings with him the story of Midand's people: many generations ago, an Aristocrat from Hell aristocrat named The Stalker colonised the Pacific. Although The Stalker had a wife, he had affairs with several natives, one of which bore him a son, named Tim Stark. When Tim grew up, war broke out between the peasants and the Hell colonisers. The peasants won the war with Tim's help, but before leaving the Pacific, The Stalker curses Tim and his descendants saying their Pacifican blood will always run with the salt of the sea, and as long as it does they will forever be banished from Hell. To this day the curse causes grief to the Pacific Government Officials, who are almost all distantly related to Tim ("The Poor Rich"). The Government takes Midand back to his home, while he is still unconscious. Si-topia is tearfully separated from Midand and tells her parents that she will go after Midand to marry him. Her parents refuse, and after several escape attempts they lock her in a tower, insistent that she will soon come to her senses. Inconsolable, Si-topia refuses to let anything get in her way, and if she cannot be with Midand then she will gladly embrace death, repaying the debt she owes ("Moonlight Promise"). Tilipria arrives at the bottom of the tower and reaches for her as she jumps from a distance that should kill her, but Auphelia, nearby, shoots a palm tree from the earth and catches Si-topia, gently resting herself on the ground. Unaware of the gods, Si-topia realises she is free and quickly leaves before her parents find that she had escaped ("On The Run"). When Tilipria angrily confronts Auphelia and demands to know why she used her gift on this, she explains that if Si-topia were to have died then no one would have won, as she would have died for love. Tilipria grumbles, but reluctantly realises she is right and agrees not to tell the gods what Auphelia did. They disappear into the night as Si-topia leaves to find the capitol, where the Government resides and she will be able to find Midand.

During her travels, she encounters the goddess Auphelia who tells her not to fear as the Earth will give her everything she needs on her journey to Midand, as long as she is prudent and knows where to look ("Land of Plenty"). Si-topia travels across the Pacific ("Journey For Love"). A montage of her trials along the difficult journey to the capital, until she eventually make it through the gates of the city and finds Midand's house ("Journey For Love, Reprise"). Midand, still ill and unable to walk, does not remember her but believes her after she describes the scar on his chest. As they stay together, Escade gives them the gift of love, using her turn ("A Gift of Love"). Over the next few days Midand and Si-topia fall in love. Midand ignores the gossiping of the government officials ("Scandalous") over the unlikely relationship of a government official and a poor peasant. Midand loves how Si-topia is so different from the rich girls in his life, but Si-topia begins to wonder if he only loves her because she is a new and shiny object to him, and if he will cast her aside for the next big thing ("Spark").

Several months later, there is a large government ball held in the capitol building, with all of the government officials attending ("The Ball"). During the ball Midand and Si-topia have a good time, laughing and dancing, but suddenly a new girl comes in, Land Without Shrimp ("New Girl"). Midand and Si-topia continue to dance, but Si-topia notices his gaze begin to waver ("It's Happening"). At the end of the ball, for the final dance, LWS walks up to Midand and asks for his hand. Agreeing, Midand leaves Si-topia behind and goes to be with LWS, leaving Si-topia alone and humiliated ("It Happened"). She flees from the ball, mortified, and looks what she has become: a rich girl who has forgotten where she came from ("Who Am I?"). She weeps bitterly on the steps of the capitol, wishing she could go back and let Midand die back in her village, not having to know this heartbreak. Tilipria reappears and reminds Si-topia of her promise to exchange her life for Midand's – but says she can revoke the bargain if she kills Midand ("You Will Be Mine, Reprise"). The God of Death gives Si-topia a dagger that will harvest Midand's soul with a touch ("A Gift of Death"). Si-topia, crazy with bitterness and hate, enters Midand's room with the dagger, plunging it into his heart and killing him. Even as she does the deed she feels bitter remorse and cries over his dead body, her salty tears falling onto him. Taking pity on her, Erinor uses her tears to heal Midand, bringing him back to life ("A Gift of Water"). Midand, seeing the knife but not remembering he was killed, has Si-topia arrested for attempted murder.

In her prison cell in the centre of the Pacific, Si-topia reflects on what has brought her here, and wonders how her life came to be like this, going down the road it has. Her door opens and standing in the doorway is Midand, who has come to say goodbye. Si-topia has been found guilty and is set to hang for her crimes. He tells her that he is sorry, and he never meant to hurt her ("Apology"). Then he leads her to the execution field. On the field a crowd jeers at her, anticipating her hanging. Four figures stand to the side, silent. One is in robes of green, one in blue, one in red, and one in black. No one seems to notice them but Si-topia, who laments for her lost life ("Lamentation of a Girl"). As the noose is fitted around her throat she realises the figures on the sidelines are the gods, and cries out for them to save her. As the stool is kicked out from under he the figure in green raises her hands, and the rope snaps, letting Si-topia fall onto the ground. It is too late however, and she is quickly dying, confirmed by the figure in black, Tilipria. The figure in green, Auphelia, begins to sing and slowly Si-topia goes still, turning into a tree to end her suffering ("A Gift of Earth"). The other gods watch on in silence as the Earth Goddess works her magic, and Si-topia grows into a large tree, her trunk strong and her branches healthy. The gods stay for a moment and sing to her, blessing her and expressing remorse at how they treated her life like it didn't matter, before leaving the scene with the crowd. The stage goes dark, and a storm begins. The lights go up again and the storm breaks, revealing Land Without Shrimp and Aumeltopia where they were at the beginning of the story. The storm is over, and so is the story. LSW stands up to leave and Aumeltopia stands as well, but LSW tells her daughter to stay. Aumeltopia asks why, and LSW reveals that Aumeltopia is actually the daughter of Si-topia, having been born from the tree several months after it was created. When Aumeltopia asks why it matters, Tilipria appears, and LSW walks off, leaving the girl with the god. The God of Death tells Aumeltopia that her mother never kept her promise, not having killed Midand and not dying herself as she is a tree, and explains that now Aumeltopia will have to pay the price. Aumeltopia tries to run but the God just laughs and throws out his hand, killing the girl instantly as she falls into a tangle of roots by the trunk of the tree. He too leaves, and the stage goes dark, the little girl cradled in the roots of her mother.

Read dispatch

Dejame robarte el corazon. Dejame subirle a esta cancion.

*waves to the jump point*

Have you seen our ass?

We've an entry, Hercules, in the Royal Ass Côte. He's one of the under-donkeys - please give your support!

No puppet voting though - you can vote for more than one donkey, but the rules are only one vote per donkey per real life player.

Show us how much you like our ass! Thank you!

International Chess Games 2028

by Sakhalinsk wikipedia


Welcome to the 2nd International Chess Games! This is a chance for your nation's top chess players to compete in the greatest chess tournament in the world!

We welcome people of all ages and skill levels, from new players wishing to learn from the best, to the best themselves wishing to compete. However, for the sake of simplicity, if you wish to send a telegram stating who will attend, only list the top 5 players. Make sure to prepare all delegates with money and luggage good for two weeks, as well as any transportation tickets needed.

The games will be held in Dawning Springs, the capital of Antarritah.

A total of over a hundred people will be attending the Games, but for brevity we will only be listing here the top 5 players from each nation.

  • The Sakhalinsk Empire

    • Milorad Annikov

    • Lavrentiy Stepanov

    • Erik Danshov

    • Olyusha Daniltsina

    • Genrietta Nenasheva

  • Techolandia

    • Miguel Lopez

    • Daniel Tremblay

    • Sofia Smith

    • Liam Morales

    • Maria Diaz

  • Antarritah

    • Franchesca Belzeki

    • Pheona Baker

    • Antoine Anderson

    • Betty Carter

    • Patrick Connor

  • Beepee

    • Alistair Bishop

    • Bernadette Castle

    • Colin King

    • Katherine Day-Knight

    • Jay Doube

  • Slanduya

    • Narisaluyv Dmitiriov

    • Sanya Slivorniya

    • Sinatra Leonov

    • Ashley Carter

    • Vasilyev Zaytsev

  • Zuhayrian

    • Joanna Liu

    • Soham Mehta

    • Ibis Diaz-Martinelli

    • Irina Hart

    • Sarzitha Ranukove

  • Hanguk-Nippon

    • Han-Kyo Kawasaki

    • Kang Se-Hwang

    • Yoshiharu Habu

    • Lee Soo-Geun

    • Mito Kashi-Soru

  • Datland

    • Amy Acosta

    • Andrew Anderson

    • Anthony Webb

    • Grant Grater

    • Patricia Parker

In the International Chess Games of 2027, the results were simply calculated with a toss of a coin (in This time, however, I will let two Level 9 Stockfish players fight it out using (In case of a draw, it is recorded and a rematch is held with the winner progressing to the next round.)

UPDATE: I reverted back to flipping coins as, well, two level 10 Stockfishes fighting each other always ends up in a tie...

I have decided to post the results.



Read dispatch

Imperium Anglorum

Good morning, VI!
I, Pencil Sharpeners 2, and Si-topia are now the new Local Councillors in TSP! 〜(⌒∇⌒)〜

The International Chess Games of 2029 have been... not yet announced. However, you can already make reservations.

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