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King Logan XIV: Greetings, why'd you try running off.
True. The Bar on the Corner of Every Region, eat here if you're suicidal!
Not to mention free coffins if you die! I think they'll even cater your wake, which a good way to take as many people with you as you can.
Gas station Sushi
Three days past expiration
Puking in restroom
Now hold on. We'll be happy to cater the wakes, but they're on their own for coffins. If they're having trouble affording their funeral arrangements, we have some leftover cardboard boxes in the stockroom.
A look of confusion crosses their face and they lean over discreetly.
but remember Zombie has first dibs. A Zombie has gotta eat
... um
*poof*
According to those pesky health inspectors, we can't call the meat locker a "morgue" and we can't call Cheffy's pots "coffins." Now, normally the health inspectors meet mysterious fates and are never heard from again, but we have to at least appear to play by the rules ... so that we can catch them off-guard. It's no fun if they're wary in advance.
Zany Zanes and East lodge
Totally
*steals King Logan's drink*
Now let's see those poems!
I wasn't aware that we could stop the zombies from eating? That's kind of what zombies do ... that, and shambling.
Zombie Penguins and East lodge
2nd Place!
1ST PLACE WOO ZANY
...
... Nevermind screw that this is first place...
*holds side in fear*
No one was given Third Place? Fraud! The election was stolen from me! I demand a recount!
Zany Zanes and East lodge
Well... you were going to get third place buuutt... it was too meterically perfect and dont take my spleen phonetically poetic
Well, all right. I promised a "gratuity" of a plate of chocolate chip cookies, and here it is. By the way, do you consider a bride of cookies to be ironic in a poetry contest about food poisoning?
C'mon, eat up, before Cheffy finds out I stole the cookies from the kitchen.
Zombie Penguins, Zany Zanes, and East lodge
...
Is this poisioned?
Only one way to find out
*noms all the cookies*
Heh. Define "poisoned."
Zombie Penguins, Zany Zanes, and East lodge
What's this!?
Someone cloaked in red and white rides a pure white horse into the bar. Muttering under the hood, the horse is forced to back out and into the stables. Soon after, the figure appears again and is soon seated at the bar.
"Heloo there!" says the evidently female person, taking of her hood.
Hm.
After taking a quick look at the menu, she says, "I'll take the nectar, please" to Zombie Penguins (thought they were a bartender?) in an overly posh accent.
The entire bar falls silent.
Post self-deleted by Mindon.
*The penguin looks up from scrubbing the bar with a gerbil* Nectar can be dangerous. *The penguin signals to a zombie to bring over the drink* But what's life without risk.
*falls over*
Whoops. My mistake. Oh well, not like anyone trying to claim a free coffin will be able to complain. Except the families but those can be taken care of.
Well, looks like I get to see the effects of nectar on... whatever you are. It's hard to tell under the hood.
Zany Zanes and East lodge
*poofs into the room*
H e l l o there
This goes on for about an hour and drives all but the bravest guests out of the bar.
The bartender walks out, drink in hand.
The drink itself is of a neon purple color, giving off a faint aura.
If one get close to it, can hear whispers of the damned as it fizzes.
Some of the fizz drips and hits the ground, melting spots of the floor like acid.
The shadow groans, resting their head on their arms.
Why the Nectar? I already have a headache.
Looks back up unfazed.
And how was your trip? Need a drink?
Well, that's one definition of "poisoned." Now we just have to measure the degree of fatality.
Absolutely! If the families eat the food that we cater to the wakes, they'll certainly be "taken care of." ... Uhm, how many bodies can we wedge into each coffin? We might have an overflow situation on our hands.
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