by Max Barry

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The Bar on the corner of every region Board

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Brocklandia wrote:Well, thanks! That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me today. It's a new cologne I'm trying, called Pine-Sol. It's not too detergent-y, right?

Itís not to detergent-y but it could definitely be improved

Feoras wrote:Thank you. *downs the whole glass* Mmm... Lemon-y. Could I have another? And I did order enough for the whole bar.

*Brings over another glass* The drinks are ready for anybody who wants them.

Zombie Penguins wrote:*Brings over another glass* The drinks are ready for anybody who wants them.

Iíll have one, please.

Coyote Hills wrote:Iíll have one, please.

Sure. *Brings over a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster*

Zombie Penguins wrote:Sure. *Brings over a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster*

Thank you. *Takes a sip, looks down at the drink, and drinks the rest of it.* That really hit the- *Falls unconscious.*

Coyote Hills wrote:Thank you. *Takes a sip, looks down at the drink, and drinks the rest of it.* That really hit the- *Falls unconscious.*

So now somebody has to sweep hir into the storage room to sleep it off? *Sigh* I'll get the broom.

Brocklandia wrote:I thought we weren't doing sushi this week?

I thought sushi was on the buffet every week. It always smells fishy at least.

Brocklandia wrote:Hey, now!--You know we don't allow pets in here. (The rats and penguins don't count. They're not pets.) Keep the dogs outside, please. The last thing we need is a buncha dogs leading the health inspectors to where we have the bodies stored.

What about Snuggles and Fluffy? Or does Fluffy not count because he's the bouncer?

Zombie Penguins wrote:*Brings over another glass* The drinks are ready for anybody who wants them.

Much appreciated. I also ordered some donuts from Yipmens Donut Shop, but the guy on duty is a little off. However, the extra ingredients he keeps adding sound like they'd be perfect for the Bar.

Coyote Hills wrote:Thank you. *Takes a sip, looks down at the drink, and drinks the rest of it.* That really hit the- *Falls unconscious.*

Lightweight.

...Oh, Brocklandia, I didn't see you there! This drink isn't, uh.... It's medicinal. And non-alcoholic.

The Weekend Poetry Contest has begun! This week everyone should be writing odes to praise the cooking of The Master Chef of the Bar on the Corner. Failure to do so could result in you becoming a lunch special.

A haiku in two parts:

Questionable food
Unidentifiable
leftovers made good

Still, deliciously
cooked by wonderful Cheffy!
(Please do not eat me)

Here's my submission/s.

Oh, Chef in the kitchen
Workin' hard with what he got
He's given you "variety"
So best eat what he brought

At most times its meat
From stuff lying around
But it's good stuff
Pound for bloody pound

Thems some good grub
Be it steak or stew
Mushroom, tentacle, blood
Or perhaps even you

An ode to the Chef
Is an ode to life
Go enjoy his cooking
And avoid any strife

My ode about the chefs amazing food which is the best in all of nationstates
Zombie Penguins The Master Chef of the Bar on the Corner

Food is so good so yummy so sweet. Cakes, icecream, gravy and meat. BeDeviled eggs and Jell-O too, food oh food how I love you.
Pancakes galore, Chocalate chip cookies and more.
Chicken and dunplings, meat-loaf so good, sour gummie worms yah, food is my hood.
Stawberry shortcake peppermints and steak.
Chili and cornbread, Oreo and milk.
Scrambled eggs(w/ Lorys and cheese)
Give me some candy if I eat Ye
Cotten candy, Fruitestas from Taco Bell,
Yes, oh yes food i like well.
Shrimp and salmon, corn on the cob, if i couldn't eat i would sob.

A drone walks into the Bar, tossing a bone in his hands. They chuckle to themselves, before suddenly, a pack of dirty, wild dogs rush in and hound the drone. They quickly knock them down, grab their clothes by the teeth, and drag the drone back outside screaming.

Wow. Now that's some dogged determination. It's a dog eat dog world out there... I think they were all Retrievers.

Brocklandia wrote:So now somebody has to sweep hir into the storage room to sleep it off? *Sigh* I'll get the broom.

*Wakes up in the storage room* Must have got knocked out again. *Tries to open the door, but finds out it has been locked* And all I have to defend myself is a broom. *Grabs the broom and reluctantly turns to face whatever lies in the darkness of the storage room* Itís not like a broom would help me, but itís better than nothing.

After six too many overnights, files being misplaced and a drunken stroll on the streets while yelling Latin to random passersby...

Hermes Express has been accepted to join the bar as a Janitor! Congratulations!

May Cthulhu save what's left of your soul.

Feoras wrote:This drink isn't, uh.... It's medicinal. And non-alcoholic.

Then ... what's the point?

Fabulously Fabulous wrote:Hermes Express has been accepted to join the bar as a Janitor! Congratulations

Another janitor? That makes, what, three of us?--Four? We have more janitors than bartenders. And from the state of the restrooms, we need 'em.

An ode praising Cheffy's amazing ability to clear the dining room ...

Their dinner?--Just not going well.
The food?--Such a really foul smell.
They decided at least
To reject Cheffy's feast,
They all drove off for Taco Bell.

Coyote Hills wrote:*Wakes up in the storage room* Must have got knocked out again. *Tries to open the door, but finds out it has been locked* And all I have to defend myself is a broom. *Grabs the broom and reluctantly turns to face whatever lies in the darkness of the storage room* Itís not like a broom would help me, but itís better than nothing.

While you're in there, tidy up and sweep, please. I'll see what I can do about finding the key to let you out ... tomorrow, maybe.

Brocklandia wrote:Another janitor? That makes, what, three of us?--Four? We have more janitors than bartenders. And from the state of the restrooms, we need 'em.

Would some fried The Cosmonaut make you feel better?

Brocklandia wrote:While you're in there, tidy up and sweep, please. I'll see what I can do about finding the key to let you out ... tomorrow, maybe.

*Hits some kind of wolf-like creature with the broom* Okay then. *Sweeps the floor in between attacks by the creatures*

TIME TO GET RIP-ROARING DRUNK!!!!!!

Do you guys serve milk?

Losconia wrote:Do you guys serve milk?

"Indeed, here you go. Of course, I must say that this product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm."

Losconia wrote:Do you guys serve milk?

They'll serve any thing.

Bilge Rat Ronnie wrote:They'll serve any thing.

"As the Chef, I will serve anyone. Preferably on a platter with a side of beans."

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