by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Satius RMB

WA Delegate: None.

Founder: The Republic of Satius-Founder

Last WA Update:

Board Activity History Admin Rank

Most Primitive: 419th
World Factbook Entry

Welcome to the region of Satius!
The New Frontier of Roleplay.

Please Endorse the elected Delegate, Sad-States!

LinkVisit the Official Satius Forums! Or check out some of our important links down below:

Founded: December 22nd, 2016.
NEWS: The region of Satius will be under reconstruction for an indefinite duration. More can be found regarding this Linkhere!

Embassies: The Glorious Nations of Iwaku, Hell, New Ausozera, The Versutian Federation, and Caelestis Universum.

Tags: Anti-Fascist, Regional Government, Password, Sports, Role Player, Multi-Species, Modern Tech, Offsite Forums, Democratic, Defender, Map, and Minuscule.

Satius contains 2 nations.

Today's World Census Report

The Most Inclusive in Satius

WA analysts ranked nations based on whether all citizens were commonly treated as equally valuable members of society.

As a region, Satius is ranked 17,904th in the world for Most Inclusive.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Communities of MakarnaLeft-wing Utopia“Nefretin küllerinden merhamet geleceğin anahtarıdır”
2.The Republic of Satius-FounderInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Yo”

Regional Happenings


Satius Regional Message Board

(This is another nation of Satanicaa)

Satius-Founder and Makarna

Forgotten excommunication

what it do im new here

Sad-States and Satanicaa

Forgotten excommunication wrote:what it do im new here

Feel free to join our Discord Server and we'll fill you in on how to get started in Satius quickly! Here's the link:

United soviet commune union

Hello I'm new here what should I do


I come from The Union of Democratic States, and I want to explain the situation with our embassies. Several weeks ago we cut our embassies in half by installing a new embassy policy. Your region probably did not now about it, because you qualified for keeping embassies (Horray!). Today, after many days of deliberation in the government, we have once again amended the policy. Here it is:

Embassy Policy

A region wishing to construct and maintain an in-game regional embassy must meet the following criteria as decided by the government of The Union of Democratic States. Any region, in any point in time that breaks this policy, will willingly forfeit their embassy with The Union of Democratic States. Any and all exceptions to these guidelines shall be made by the government.

  1. Have an active population of at least 30 active nations.

    1. Exemptions may be made for interregional alliance headquarter regions.

    2. Exemptions for alliance military bases.

  2. Must not have regional tags for:

    1. Invader

    2. Fascist

    3. Anti-World Assembly

    4. Anti-General Assembly

    5. Anti-Security Council

  3. Must not support in any way, the practice of raiding.

    1. May not have embassies with known raider regions.

  4. Must not be condemned by the Security Council of the World Assembly

    1. A condemnation by CAIN will also forfeit our embassy.

  5. Must not be an "Embassy Collector"

    1. Embassy Collector is defined as "a region with a policy of obtaining as many embassies as possible."

  6. Must actively support a democratic system of governance.

    1. Exemptions for those who have been raided.

  7. Must condemn hatred of any kind, including discrimination.

    1. Discrimination is defined as “the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex.”

  8. Must not be enemies of the region, and the values the region stands for.

    1. The generous application of “enemy” shall be interpreted by the government.

  9. Must continuously promote a Foreign Policy with the region, capable of updating the staff of the whereabouts of your region.

[9/13/17] - Thatcher - Added Update Log

Read factbook

. The biggest changes are in clause 1 and the addition of clause 9. We are informing you of this change, because we have all the intention in the world to keep as many embassies as possible. I will return in about a week to revisit your region and see if you continue to fit the policy. I truly hope that we may keep embassies. I want to thank you all for being so patient with us. Please know that this will most likely not effect anything. Most embassies will be kept open.

The Noble Thatcherites
Founder, Cabinet Member and Council of State Member.



New poll, please vote!

Post by Solarmania beta suppressed by Satius-Founder.

Solarmania beta

well this region is dead

Hail Satius! The next issue of Hell's Bells is hot off the demonic presses!

Issue XXV: I'm Not Like Everybody Else;

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

May 28th, 2017
Issue XXV. LinkI'm Not Like Everybody Else

I. Interview with August
II. Spotlight News
- The NewsStand
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Antifa v Anarchism
V. Artwork of the Damned

Interview with August
Interviewed by, The Stalker

1. Welcome August, you know it feels like we’re have this interview in the wrong month. August, September, January, just how many month nations do you have? What is your origin story?

Thank you for having me! I agree, and August cannot come fast enough. I never liked the cold, and January is not mine, even if it is sitting in my jump point.

Origins? I started here a little over seven years ago, and anyone paying attention to feeder politics in early 2010 probably remembers all the turmoil in TNP. That is my first memory in the game, getting kicked out of the North Pacific repeatedly by Durk. Talk about a first impression! After that, I was in a few UCRs, and eventually founded my own, Ridgefield. It grew quickly, but I had to leave abruptly for a couple years due to real life. I returned to the game a couple times over the next five years, mostly lurking Gameplay and never doing anything significant. During one of those times, the nation release program began, and I picked up my current main nation. Finally, in January of last year, I came back after a couple years out (cue Hotel California in the background). Remembering how much fun region-building was, I decided to pick it up again, and put together the blueprints for several regions and an alliance to connect them.

2. Mighty leader of The Augustin Alliance, made up of four regions Conch Kingdom, Cape of Good Hope, Lands End, and Ridgefield, all of which you are the founder of. Tell us, how does that work? What is the day in a life of running this alliance?

A lot of running around and putting out fires backstage, so that everything looks presentable when the curtain opens!

Serious answer: The key has been staggering the launches and planning everything in advance. Following the launch of each region, we allowed some time for it to become self-sustaining before moving onto the next, and using the momentum from the previous region to support the next region's growth. It becomes a domino effect, where one community's development leads into the next and the efficiency increases on every cycle. Meanwhile, experienced officials (like Helaw, Tulov, Caffeine Addicts, and many others) make sure everything keeps moving internally.

The days are incredibly hectic, even without factoring in my absurd real life schedule. Since most of the setup work is done by now, a lot of my job involves dealing with other regions and people, answering piles of messages, commanding the JTF, and making sure the governments of the individual regions are running smoothly. Something is always going on--one region's delegate disappeared suddenly without a trace, we are currently involved in three separate occupations, there are always articles and dispatches that need writing, and I am working on something huge and exciting that will be announced soon. In short, I am booked, but I love it!

3. Your alliance made a big stir during the April Fools day event taking first place, how did that victory feel? What was your strategy? I want detailed notes.

Ah, the nuclear war. For us, it was a chance to show off, and we had a tremendous amount of fun with it! I knew we were not the biggest group out there, but we were probably unmatched in coordination. Not only that, we have people from around the globe living in our regions, so I figured we had a great chance at winning and generating a little publicity.

Going against my better judgment here, because I know someone will use this against us if there is another war event, but this was our strategy. Everything was organized on Discord. Allies, ambassadors, and spies alike came in to watch, but we kept nothing secret. The top priority was to defend all Alliance nations at all costs, while racking up points by striking at small factions. Shield-builders would watch the incoming tab and shoot down any threats instantly. Others would build thousands of warheads and dump them on defenseless nations, making sure to maximize their efficiency for points. Meanwhile, our unique position as R/D independents, several early peace treaties with major R/D factions, and our status as relative unknowns protected us from the most intense barrages.

All this kept us hovering in the top five, occasionally hitting #1, until we got together with the UDS and planned to take down TWP. That was the turning point, and catapulted us into the top spot permanently. Shortly thereafter, we hit Exodus jointly with the UDS, and that sealed the deal. The Black Hawks came fairly close, but I think the deciding factor was the huge number of people we had online even at four in the morning. Exhausting? Certainly, but we gained a lot of activity and new people out of the ordeal, so I think it was worth it.

(Now, there are a few key strategies I withheld, but some things you need to get from the source!)

4. You’re also Director of the Joint Task Force, the Augustin Alliance military and Diplomatic Corps, had some playful large scale operations fairly recently, tell us about that, and who is your next target?? What is the alignment of the JTF? Raider, independent, Imperialistic, something crazy? What I’m asking is, are you the light in the darkness, or are you the darkness?

The JTF is independent, and has been described by some as the only true independents on the field today. We raid and defend with near-equal regularity, and are happy to work with almost all active gameplay organizations. Just last week, a group of JTF soldiers was caught on video helping an old lady cross the street. Not a minute later, they turned around and started kicking a bunch of puppies. Of course, they mugged the guy recording it and stole his camera, but they published the video anyway and donated the profits to charity, the maniacs.

In recent weeks, we have been making our share of noise, executing the first two JTF-led operations back-to-back and supporting several other organizations on the side. We took St Abbaddon first, which was a high-profile occupation mostly involving small or new organizations like ourselves. That led to a liberation and a massive pile-off against defenders and the NPO. When that finished, we got back on our feet by hitting everyone's favorite region, DankMemes. The founder was revived just hours before we had planned to clear out the entire region, which ended the operation. All this gave us valuable experience and some great relationships with other organizations, and you can expect much more of the same for the rest of the year!

(Next target? All I can say is that if your region has "meme" or "kek" anywhere in the name, better sleep with one eye open.)

5. Now the tuff questions, which of your four regions is your favorite!? None of this I can’t choose or they’re equal nonsense. What is the real goal of the Augustin Alliance? Is it to conquer NationStates? Cause just between you and me that’s my goal.

My favorite? That really is difficult. The whole point of the Alliance is to offer people a choice between completely unique regions, while maintaining a high standard of quality for each, and the whole time allowing access to a wider group of people with varied interests through Discord and embassy-connected RMBs. Each of the four has a different focus and theme, but the single, unified community itself is the most amazing thing about the AA.

If I absolutely had to pick a favorite region, I would say Ridgefield. It is the oldest, the first one I ever made, and I spent years trying to get it back after a region-squatter snatched it. These days it is the smallest, but only because recruiting has not begun in earnest. I think its structure (meritocratic and quality-focused, with mandatory WA membership) is the most interesting and unique of them all. Now, I will sit back and wait for five hundred non-Ridgefield-residents to come bite my head off for this.

6. If you sold me, *cough* I mean made a Faustian bargain with the Devil for your soul, what would you ask for?

The password to your region.

...Uh oh, did I break it?

OK, I would ask for more ambitious players interested in leading AA regions!

Spotlight News
Compiled by, The Stalker

Need more News? Visit The NewsStand!

The NewsStand is your one-stop non-stop news shop, bringing you the latest and best publications from around NationStates. Here you can find your favorites fast, or leisurely look for new titles. And all for the one-off price of an up-vote.

“We’re actively seeking new and established titles to add to The NewsStand. To deliver the service effectively, we're aiming to be a top 20 dispatch. Currently slot 20 is held by the offer of a free potato. Being voted more popular than a potato will clearly be challenging for us, but we believe our ruthless ‘Wild-Thing-eats-Potato’ corporate attitude will get us there.”
~All Wild Things
(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

An international wheeler dealer like yourself has probably made some enemies. Who’s on you list?


I’ve made a bunch. But they don’t stay on my list very long, if you know what I mean. Former occupants of my enemy list include
Easter Bunny (trespassing-multiple times, took him out with a land mine)
Santa Claus (see Easter Bunny)
Elvis (I stepped on his blue suede shoes and he tried to hit me, so self-defense)
Jimmy Hoffa (boredom)
Tooth Fairy (tried to remove my teeth with pliers, so I disemboweled him/her)

Some people still on my list (not-dead-yet)
The Pope (If he doesn’t pay off his gambling debts soon)
Stalker (boredom)
Beeker (This would actually be a public service)
Most of the population of France (I just don’t like the French)

Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

Antifa- an annoyed pile of gibberish I felt compelled to churn out.
Article by, Zen Beatitudes

Before we run into an outcry of hurt feelings let me say outright that this is written in response to my RL encounters with people who identify themselves as 'Antifa', which is to say Antifascist. This has nothing to do with the NS movement of the same who have been doing their thing for ages.
For myself I work in the Public Transport sector and am active in the trade union movement representing almost 300 drivers as their elected delegate. I am more an Erisian anarchist inasmuch as I would call myself anything. What follows are simply my feelings at the time of writing and not representative of me at the time of reading for I am a verb.

Firstly, I take umbrage at the entwining of my precious black flag with the red. This represents a fundamental ignorance of what the far left has consistently done to anarchists historically whenever the chance arose. The opposition to fascism is not sufficient grounds to forgive our enemies, and by enemies I refer to anyone actively advocating a system of government or the greater manifestation of control as The State. To me the forms of communism that have held ascendancy globally are as repulsive as those of the far right, perhaps more so for the disingenuous declarations that are touted to gain ascension. These are not systems that seek to destroy capital or renew its base value in any equitable fashion, but to appropriate it for themselves. Honestly I see the far right and left as creatures cut from the same cloth, one of iron fisted state control. I am not opposed to fascism more than any other form of government. It is the traditional conflict between totalitarian regimes and communist groups more than anything that prompts this waving of flags; it is not an anarchist issue.

The fighting of sexism, racism and all the other social injustices that these people feel they are opposing is a definitive non sequitur. That they can stand against what they perceive as injustice yet support the form of social organisation that creates and encourages the injustice demonstrates an aborted thought process. It puts me in mind of the Dead Kennedy's song Nazi Punks F*ck Off and the line 'In a real Third Reich you'd be the first to go'. The idea that this sort of protest, however truncated in reasoning would be tolerated in a world ruled by communism is worse than wishful thinking. While I certainly agree that communism as has been practised thus far is not the theoretically pure version that some authors would have us envision as paradise on earth, it is the reality we must judge it by. Anarchism on the other hand has proven in its historical practice to be exactly what it calls itself on paper and this is yet another reason I am angered by the diminishing of our cause and the tying of it to that of tyranny.

The targeting 'Fascism' in the current climate and using the current president of the US as some sort of emblem of this is just painful. That one particular face of the machine that runs your lives is better or worse than another is frankly ridiculous and the fact that so many have fallen for this oldest of ruses is a pathetic indictment of both cognition and awareness. Verily the cause if lost when those that should be promulgating genuine rebellion happily jump into vetted and approved channels without realising they have done so. While they 'fight' fascism they are conversely tacitly supporting democracy and relegating themselves to the vanguard of the system that they should be opposing. In America, capitalism is equated with democracy and thus we have supposed anti-capitalist, anti-statist people fighting for the preservation of capital in its current statist framework. This makes my brain hurt and I've tried to share this perspective with some of those who have prompted this outpouring, and the consistent response is 'Democracy is better than Fascism'. I find it baffling that one form of control can be preferred over another simply because people have been indoctrinated to think of free market capitalism as benign when in fact it is by far the more insidious of the two. This is an utter failure in critical thinking as well as thinking generally.

This acceptance of the state disproves entirely the Anarchistic claim the black flag tries to represent in the antifa union. Whatever your particular bent of anarchism, the demolition of the state structure is a central feature, in fact it is THE feature of your belief. To leave even a minimal framework of government leaves one in the adolescent stoner van of rebellious Libertarianism, forever doomed to lack the conviction to stride genuinely free of the comforting confines of parental control. The fact that so many people throw up the tired argument of 'How else would it work' is one of the greatest indicators to me of how lost and malleable we have become generally. A lack of imagination is a prime indicator of slavery, and just because someone can't imagine a way forward does not mean that one does not exist. The inability to remove possibility from the limitations of our own perspective leaves us in bondage, enslaved to the lies of supposed certainty in a universe where there is no such thing. We must be contrary with ourselves more than anything, for our consciousness is nothing but the bad handwriting on the name tag pinned upon the robot that you think you control.

And that we have veered to this particular juncture tells me it's time to wrap it up lest we lose sight of the original aim here. In summation let me say that defining oneself by individual issues is to short change yourself in the most grievous of manners for it leaves you wide open to manipulation. Judge all things based on your internal compass equally and forget not that the world is wide and contains more sins than you can imagine. To protest one thing is to lessen the import of others and limits what you as a human being are able to create in this world.
Always remember the actual place is not the map of that place and it's only ignorance if you leave it that way.

From your mind arises the universe.

Artwork of the Damned
"Angel Meme"
Meme by, Unknown

Article by, The Stalker

Early May THE TRUMP PATRIOTS OF AMERICA (TTPoA) began a spamming war with Hell. Like many regions Hell was spammed by the former embassy collecting region of TTPoA for weeks.

Upon rejecting the 4th or 5th request to Hell, The Stalker set up a new thread in technical with an idea for a feature that once a nation was banned from a region they couldn’t request embassies anymore. An idea well received and liked by many, to everyone’s surprise Violet actually added it to the game!

TTPoA however did not like it, and proceeded to create a bunch of inappropriate nations and regions to further spam Hell. Which were quickly deleted by the mods. Having the feature added and inappropriate regions deleted, The Stalker thought that would be the end of it. A week went by before TTPoA began to spam Hell once again. The Mad King knew he couldn’t just ignore repeated attacks on Hell and began a campaign among TTPoA’s embassy regions to encourage them to close embassies with TTPoA. Within a day 20 embassies began to close, 10 more aborting construction with them.

In a rage the leaders of TTPoA, who may have just been one person, mass created and spammed Hell will lude and vulgar region embassy requests. So bad that the mods tired of his repeated harassment puppet swept him leaving TTPoA founderless.

The Stalker then began to reach out to like minded individuals to encourage someone to hit TTPoA for their insults of Hell, only to find The West Pacific Armed Forces (TWPAF) were already planning to take the region.

Later that night TTPoA was taken with ease by TWPAF, with support from Kawaii Armed Forces, Eastern Pacific Sovereign Army, and South Pacific Special Forces. Appointing a puppet nation of The Stalker’s to help dole out the justice.

Maybe two days later, TTPoA was swiftly refounded.


We hope you've enjoyed our twenty-fifth issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

Important Note: In payment for having enjoyed our Newspaper you are expected to up arrow this factbook. Failing to up arrow this factbook means you are willing choosing to forfeit ownership of your soul to The Stalker for all eternity instead. Thanks for reading.

Read factbook

NS Thread; viewtopic.php?f=12&t=331170

Hope you guys enjoy!

Sad-States and Satius-Founder

Hello this is Sad-States, the founder of Satius. First off I would like to address the state of the region, it currently sits at 12 nations and the region has no government that is officially running except me, the Head of State. I would like to state this is my fault from my inactivity through the past few months since April. This is due to from a death of a really good friend, schooling, and other complications in my life that prevented me having time to roleplay.

However, with my life now calm, I feel this is the best time to finally get things running. Satius has not been used as an outlet for us to roleplay much, but neither was Audaxia. Let's change that guys. If we all roleplay, we can make Satius great again. The Cavs didn't win, but Satius will.

I will be creating a International Sports roleplay and if you'd like to take part, create your all-star teams to compete in them and feel free to make your own nation's basketball league like the NBA. For the next few days in the roleplay discussion channel we will be discussing as a region the grounds for the next, open regional roleplays for both diplomatic and war roleplays.

Thank You For Your Time,

Founder of Satius.

Hawkwick, Makarna, and Nordavina

Greetings Satius! The next issue of Hell's Bells is hot off the demonic presses!

Issue XXVI: Heathens;

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

August 8th, 2017
Issue XXVI. LinkHeathens

I. Rise of the Seven Sins
II. Spotlight News
-Manson's Friendship Challenge
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Bewitched after Dark
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. Interview with Cynical Alcoholics

Rise of the Seven Sins
Article by, The Stalker

The dragon stood on the shore of the sea. And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on its horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion. The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority.

The Department of the Seven Sins
Coming three years now, the Mad King has ruled the Kingdom of Hell. Building a new vision and forging a strong united kingdom from the ashes.

One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast. People worshiped the dragon because he had given authority to the beast, and they also worshiped the beast and asked, “Who is like the beast? Who can wage war against it?”

The Department of Lust, Hell’s Bells

The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise its authority for forty-two months. It opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven.

The Department of Wrath

The Kingdom of Hell is very pleased to announce the establishment of the Department of Wrath, Hell’s first military branch.

It was given power to wage war against God’s holy people and to conquer them.

Led by the Vice President of Wrath Altmoras the department has seen early success working on joint missions with the Grey Wardens and other defenders.

5 Liberations

99 Defenses


Participating Troops
The Baphomet
Mrev the Dead Goblin

The Department of Greed
Underworld has tripled its regional population and is now larger than Hell itself in residents and World Assembly membership. Henceforth making Underworld the body of our Kingdom and Hell the head.

The Department of Greed’s expansion brought the first ever presidential elections in Underworld.

Eothania, aka Asmodeus, now leads Underworld as its President and WA Delegate. To run Underworld for his 66 day term and alongside his chosen cabinet.

Underworld also welcomed it’s new Overlord Daisy Johnson. A long time resident of Underworld and the third Overlord to take up the role after the previous Overlord The Baphomet retired. The Overlord helps co-rule Underworld alongside the elected President.

And it was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation. All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast.

The Department of Pride

Kyraina has been crowned the Prince of Hell. A devoted loyal Hellion who has and will continue to serve alongside the Mad King to ensure the security of Hell, help run the Department of the Seven Sins, and expand the Kingdom of Hell.

Then I saw a second beast, coming out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon. It exercised all the authority of the first beast on its behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed.

Spotlight News
Compiled by, The Stalker

Manson's Friendship Challenge

Hey NS! It's me, your favorite online rockstar!

I've been in the shadows developing this challenge for a while, and I thought today would be the day to share it with the rest of the world.

Have you just joined NS, and you're having trouble making friends? Or, are you a veteran player, that wants to meet new people? Now you can! Participate in this simple challenge and start new friendships today!

Backstory: When I was new to NS, I felt alone and scared. My friend who had introduced me to the game grew inactive, I was all by myself. Later, my friend grew active again and he moved into the region known as Avadam Inn. I followed him there and his inactivity grew again, and he ceased to exist eventually. I became good friends with all of the people in the region, and later, I became dedicated to the region. They are a big branch of my NS family, I will never forget them. As a couple of years passed, I came to where I am today, still quite alone. I met a quite a few of my friends by putting random letters in the world search bar. I met one of my best friends, The Stalker, this way. We talked for a while, and then I decided to move a nation into his region, Hell. Even small things like this, shaped me into who I am. I still look for new friends this way, and I encourage you to do as I do.

Our Purpose: To unite and make NS friendlier! Everyone needs a friend!

Forum Thread

Ways You Can Help: Pin this dispatch in your region, or you can put #MansonsFriendshipChallenge in your WFE or on your RMB.

How To Make Friends The Manson Way
1. Go to the world.
2. Click on the blank search box in the top right corner.
3. Type in three to four random letters, and hit search.
4. Click on the first nation that pops up.
5. Send them a telegram saying hi, and how you wish to talk more and even maybe become good friends.
(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Dear Fredd,
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, and violence on my TV?

When there’s sex, nudity and violence on TV, I usually slather my genitals in IcyHot, put on my head to toes latex suit and attach a car battery to my nipples using jumper cables. Hope that helps.


Everybody says you're REALLY old. How old are you?

I'm so old that...
- I remember when that big ditch in Arizona was known as The Medium Sized Canyon
- I ran a taco truck for the workers building the pyramids
- when Noah didn't want to bring some of the animals, I brought them on my boat. So, yes, I'm responsible for skunks, cockroaches, scorpions and banana slugs.


Dear Fredd,
What are some of your favourite fetishes? And what are your kinkiest fetishes? Is it true you possessed Adolf Hitler just so you could make him eat poo?
On a related note, are you the same entity as or related to Freddy Krueger? I like how Freddy doesn't JUST slice-n-dice deserving teenagers with his razor glove, he f's with their minds first, like the time he made gaping mouths appear on the arms of a injecting drug-addicted teen.

Your #1 fan,

Where to begin? As someone who’s done it all and seen it all, I tend to get a little bored with the regular stuff. See my answer to ‘Prude” for my usual Friday nite. Lately I’ve been experimenting with a combination of Komodo Dragons, spiked gag-balls and death-metal yodelling. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Your question about Adolf is close to correct. But, you need to capitalize Poo. Haven’t seen the little ‘hunny’ monger lately, have you?

Kruegs, while a fishing buddy of mine, is a different person than me. Always liked his style. I think the mind-fvcks he deals out are due that cocktail he smears on his blades.

Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

Bewitched after Dark
Article by, Ingskalla

My brief excursion to the "Spirit of America" and incipient foundation for the Anglo-American colonies was mutually informative and entertaining. The local populace of New England were accommodating, gregarious, and most of my interactions with them were pleasant enough overall. After checking into our hotel, my family and I uberd over to explore Central Commons downtown Boston and Granary Burying Ground near southern end of Boston's Freedom Trail. Being in the profession and applied science of Thanatology and general interest in historical cemeteries, I saw the burial grounds of founding fathers and signatories of the Declaration of Independence. John Hancock and Paul Revere's gravesites included in my trail exploration. In visiting Salem on the second day evening, my father, sister, a family friend, and I went on the tour of historical Salem. Which was appropriately enough hosted by a self-purported Wiccan sorcerer and professional photographer. Now when our warlock chauffeur-guide, fashioning a prominent stalk of Vandyke chin stubble and a trenchcoat, possessed an adroit volume of knowledge on the background Salem Witch trials. I founded myself nodding in concordance when when he castigated the cogent ilks of theocracy of the era and proceeded onto on a brief but impassioned diatribe about the precarious ramifications of merging matters of governance and local zealous superstition. However as it was necessary to lighten the tone, Jeff interspersed the morose content with original witticisms, zingers, and comedy of an esoteric taste which many of the tourists and I were humored by.

He spoke upon at large regarding the zealous wave of hysteria that disseminated throughout colonial Massachusetts, the allegations poised against Bridget Bishop and a few of the eighteen total victim obituary execution stories, and we visited Salem’s Gallows Hill. At The Burying Point, Jeff exclaimed how "fitting" the gravestones of the falsely accused and executed young women are angled toward Judge John Hathorne, “The Witch Hanging Judge”. Later on, we visited Howard Street Cemetery near one of New England's oldest penitentiaries. In 1692, accused warlock Giles Corey was pressed to death by large stones. After days of excruciating agony and noble protest, Corey succumbed and cursed Sheriff George Corwin and the entirety of Salem from his fleeting breath with the harrowing final words of “Damn you! I curse you and Salem!”. In consequence of the very public and grotesque nature of Corey’s protest, many Salem inhabitants at the time began to question the witch trials.

Our tour group, omitting us Skandies, comprised of several young couples and their ill-disciplined brats, a few random normies, two Ivy League co-eds prattling on about the fallacious relation of Harry Potter to the contemporary resurgence of witchcraft, and a brooding thug with presumably his thotty squeeze. Salem proper, noting the charming Colonial New England architecture and dilapidated roadways, hosts a surfeit of Wiccan themed gift shops and psychic/New Age reading centers. I was surprised to discover that Salem’s tourism industry, which is a considerable sector of their local economy ($100 million), apparently attracts more than a million visitors from across the U.S. and abroad annually. Around All Hallow's Eve, more than 500,000 visitors and members of the white-magicians/Neo-Pagan demographic travel to Salem to partake in handfasting cerenomies for their Samhain celebration. This holiday is among the most important sabbat for the Druid-Wiccan scene, an occasion to honor ancestors and the harvest.

Beyond that, I sampled the culinary pride pf New England and it’s signature seafood dishes at restaurants, went on a yacht tour off of Boston Harbor, scored some brewskis at a Irish-American tavern “Mr. Doodly”, and explored Faneuil Hall and a couple shopping promenades in downtown Boston. In what can accurately be coined as a legit occult experience, I would encourage others interested in modern sorcery and early colonial American history to travel to the this bewitched city of Essex county.

Artwork of the Damned
"No Clue"
MS Paint by, -Anton Szandor LaVey-

Interview with Cynical Alcoholics
Interviewed by, -Anton Szandor LaVey- AKA The Baphomet

1. Hello Cynical! Nice of you to join us today. What is the story? When and how, did you find Hell?

Cynical Alcoholics (Cy): Haha, you're going to have to give me a minute on that one.

Baphomet (B): Lol, wasn't it around 2005?

Cy: I found Hell shortly after I found NS, which was a f*cking long time ago, earlier, I believe 2003 possibly.

B: 2004?

Cy: I need to look it up, need to go read the history. I know stalker has it down somewhere, anyway, the proper answer is a Long Ass Time.

B: July 2003 Hell Elders Big Jim P and Cynical Alcoholics arrive in Hell.

Cy: There you go. I thiiink I was never really a part of any other region. Other than the one you were created in, the pacific or whatever it was. But to be honest I have no idea how or why. It was nearly 15 years ago, and if there's anything that characterizes my experience with nationstates, it's apathy. As my history with NS has essentially been logging in on and off long enough to prevent my account from being permanently deleted.

2. Did you enjoy reigning as Hell's delegate from 2007-2009? Was it difficult?

Cy: Uh...yes. Sure. I enjoyed it insomuch that it was relatively quiet, and not much happened. Which again, is characteristic of my entirely unremarkable history with NS.

No, it was not difficult to occasionally log in and make sure no one was attempting to raid us. Until that one time when maybe someone did. I think. It was a decade ago.

3. Can you remember anything about the late Hell ancients, Miss, One Bad Asp, or any others?

Cy: I'm pretty sure Miss was pretty chill. I think OBA was a nazi or a white supremacist though. Maybe. Or perhaps the other way around. Either way, one was cool, one was a Nazi. Probably.

Like, a literal nazi. Not a fascist style ruler of the region. Just for clarification.

4. You and Big Jim P arrived in the same month, how would you describe your relationship?

Cy: I'm pretty sure one time we may have both posted on the regional message board in a sequential order. A whirlwind romance if I've ever had one.

5. Haha! Did anything change when The Stalker first joined Hell in 2007 with his nation, Evil Personz?

Cy: Sure, why not.

I never said this would be a good interview.

6. Well, you caught me there! Could you please describe your current role in Hell? (How active are you? Do you continue to help out? Etc.)

Cy: Opsec comes first. Can't discuss matters of the deepest, most inner circles of hell. We let that Dante guy in and he sung like a canary in a coal mine.

7. Ah! I understand completely! Are you a part of any other regions besides Hell?

Cy: No, I am not. In fact, in my near 15 years on NS, I have never made a single alt.

8. Really?! Would you ever like to change that?

Cy: The only other region I have ever spent any time in is Lazarus, after resurrecting myself some indeterminate number of times.

No, not really. That would require a fair amount of effort, which would betray my true nature.

9. How long to you plan to stay on NS?

Cy: Indefinitely, I suppose. Never thought about it being a thing to stay on or off of. It just is.

10. Well, this is the end of the interview! How would you rate my journalistic skills? From 1 tormented soul to 10 tormented souls.

Cy: 10 tormented souls, for after each question, I added one more soul to the Tormentor. We've got a good Tormentor in Hell, you know. You can't just find these things lying around any more. The tech is long gone. Anyway. It's been a pleasure. Pardon me now while I ignore all of my issues for another few months.

We hope you've enjoyed our Twenty-Sixth issue of Hell's Bells. Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

Important Note: In payment for having enjoyed our Newspaper you are expected to up arrow this factbook. Failing to up arrow this factbook means you are willing choosing to forfeit ownership of your soul to The Stalker for all eternity instead. Thanks for reading.

Read factbook

NS Forum: viewtopic.php?f=12&t=331170&p=32294414#p32294414

Hope you guys enjoy!


Forum View