WA Delegate (non-executive): The Alpine Kingdom of The Soviet state of Svalbard (elected )
Founder: The Indivisible Republic of Grenopia
Last WA Update:
Embassies: Thaecia, Future Earth, The Great Universe, 0000, United States of America, The Free Nations Region, The Region That Has No Big Banks, The Order of the Grey Wardens, The Embassy, Londinium, Bus Stop, SECFanatics, Official European Union, India, Novus Lucidum, The Socialist Syndicalist Union, and 1 other.The Great Experiment.
Regional Power: Moderate
Today's World Census Report
The Highest Crime Rates in Northern Utopia
World Census interns were dispatched to seedy back alleys in order to determine which nations have the highest crime rates.
As a region, Northern Utopia is ranked 11,602nd in the world for Highest Crime Rates.
|1.||The Stark Bollock Naked Pirates of Fenhamstan||Anarchy||“Free Willy!”|
|2.||The Nomadic Peoples of Kaczynskia||Left-Leaning College State||“Money cannot be eaten.”|
|3.||The Republic of Epic gamers2||Iron Fist Consumerists||“Free the gamers!”|
|4.||The Democratic Republic of Coandawe||Compulsory Consumerist State||“Family, Community, People”|
|5.||The Incorporated States of Arrettrez Holding Company||Capitalist Paradise||“Live rich. Live short.”|
|6.||The Republic of Taiwan is NOT China||Corporate Police State||“Hong Kong and Macau NOT China”|
|7.||The Nomadic Peoples of This Region Has Been Featured||Anarchy||“Congratulations on being featured! DaBomb.com”|
|8.||The Republic of Northern Utopian Ice Hockey Federation||Anarchy||“90% of hockey is mental, and other half is physical”|
|9.||The Rogue Nation of Cotindus||Father Knows Best State||“So strong and brave are we. Peace and prosperity.”|
|10.||The Confederacy of Varein||Inoffensive Centrist Democracy||“Standing Tough”|
- : The Socialist Republic of Pivanskaya arrived from Lazarus.
- : The Confederacy of Uskuonia departed this region for Confederacy of Allied States.
- : The Confederacy of Uskuonia arrived from Confederation of New lands.
- : The United Socialist States of West Rennia arrived from Balder.
- : The Kingdom of Vocja departed this region for Federation of Moclava.
- : The Federation of The Embassy God of the region The embassy of embassies withdrew an invitation to construct embassies.
- : The United States of GlobalCommunity arrived from The Hole To Hide In.
- : The Monarchy of Zeritae departed this region for United Fascist Workers Association.
- : The Monarchy of Zeritae arrived from Official European Union.
- : The Nomadic Peoples of Zombie Minion departed this region for Dinobots.
Northern Utopia Regional Message Board
Presidential Palace Chief of Staff Leo McGarry Steps Down
After serving beside the President for three years, Chief of Staff Leo McGarry has announced he will be stepping down after being hospitalized for severe pneumonia.
McGarry collapsed three days ago at the Presidential Camp in Jamestown and was rushed to the hospital where he had to undergo surgery and was placed on a ventilator. His doctors appeared before the press yesterday where they announced he is in stable but critical condition and will remain at the hospital for the foreseeable future.
First thing this morning, President John Williams announced that he was promoting Presidential Palace Press Secretary CJ Craig to the position of Chief of Staff until Mr. McGarry returns,
"After surgery 36 hours ago I am relieved to announce that Leo McGarry is in stable condition and headed for a full recovery. Though he will always be a very valuable part of this administration, he will not be returning to his post. I am therefore pleased, and terribly proud to announce that effective immediately, the Presidential Palace Chief of Staff will be filled by Claudia Jean Craig"
Space Shuttle Aquarius Launches from Jamestown
The shuttle Aquarius, the newest craft to the AusValia fleet took off at 9:30pm local time. The mission will bring the next six astronauts to the AusValia lunar lab located on the Fra Mauro site.
This will be the second crew to land on the site since it was built. They will remain for seven weeks for a two part mission. First, they will work to improve communications between the station and earth as well as a drilling operation.
Aquarius is expected to touchdown on the moon Sunday morning.
Both Houses Pass the President's Economic Security Bill
After months of negotiations, the Upper House finally passed the last phase of the President's Economic Security Bill, which mandates that a person can only engage in five day trades a week within the stock market if they have less than $25,000 in their portfolio.
The bill came after the economic recession nearly four years ago, in which many people were driven into debt by day trading (buying and selling a stock within one business day). The new bill works to protect those who are not financially safe to engage in such trades and offers federal protections.
Some Conservative members felt that it was too much government oversight, but eventually agreed. The bill won't officially take effect until the end of the year.
United One Trust Cuts Deal with the Justice Council
United One Trust which has been under investigation by two city attorneys, the Upper House, and the Justice Council for three years, announced today they have reached a deal with the AUS government.
Justice Council Director David Rosen,
"Good morning, today I come before you to say that United One Trust will be held accountable for the stunning lack of oversight. UOT has admitted its guilt. Today, the Justice Council announces that United One Trust is being charged with two counts of violations of the AusValia banking laws and codes of ethics. As part of it's resolution of these charges, UOT has agreed to forfeit 1.9 billion dollars. They have also agreed to pay civil penalties of 665 million dollars. UOT has engaged and agreed to partially defer from bonus compensation for its most senior executives and they have a agreed to this for a five year term, along with a corporate monitor and a requirement of ongoing cooperation."
There was a deferred prosecution agreement with the UOT, meaning there will be no prosecution of the bank or its top executives, despite more than a decade of dealings with criminals and terrorists.
Dozens of past District Attorneys, and even United Future Party Councilmen has harshly criticized the Justice Council's decision,
"They cut a deal, plain a simple. They paid a fine of nearly two billion dollars, which for a bank of this size, is roughly five weeks of profit. No individual was charged with any crime, no individual was fined any money. This is just a big bank, that was essentially let off the hook.", Former Attorney General for the City of Perth Derrick Grains.
"If you are caught with an ounce of cocaine, the chances are good you are going to go to jail. If it happens repeatedly, you may go to jail for the rest of your life, but evidently if you launder nearly a billion dollars for drug cartels and violate our international sanctions, your company pays a fine. That is fundamentally wrong. That is not equal justice under the law. That is not accountability.", UFP Councilwoman Elizabeth Smart, Upper House.
Justice Council Director David Rosen has stood by his decision,
"Look the goal here is not to bring the bank down, it is not to hurt our economy and leave tens of thousands of people without jobs."
Why are so many people (say for instance, the nations known as Giant Meteor, Birthday Cake Herby, Zombie Minion, and more nations) leaving the region of Northern Utopia? Is it due to being on the featured list the other day?
8 Injured, 1 Dead After a Training Exercise
A routine training exercise ended in a catastrophe after 8 AUS troops were injured and one killed, after their helicopter made an emergency landing in the ocean outside of the city of Tauranga.
The Director of the Defense Council, Miles Hutchinson, stated to the press that the exercise is being investigated by the Military Police and Military Internal Affairs.
The name of the soldier killed has not been released, pending family notification. The news is able to report that he was a 34 year old pilot for the AusValia Army, serving more than ten years. The other eight soldiers in the crash are in stable condition, three have already been released.
Lower House Councilman Robert Russell Announces Bid for President
In his hometown of Cedar surrounded by family, Councilman Russell officially announced his campaign for the Conservative nominee for President. The 63 year old has served ten years in the Upper House, four of which as Minority Leader. He is the first official candidate in the race, nearly a full year from election day.
Russell is well known for his tough actions in the legislature and has fought with the President on a series of issues.
Though it is extremely early, some polling has him at about 2% of registered Conservative voters.
Aquarius Touches Down on the Face of the Moon
As scheduled Aquarius space shuttle touched down a little after midnight Monday morning. This will be the second mission to the AusValia Lunar Laboratory. Over the next seven weeks the astronauts will engage in several missions, including a drilling operation and setting up newer and better communications for radio and visual screenings with earth. The astronauts will also enage in the first ever broadcast of life aboard the Laboratory throughout their mission.
We of Lake Perseverance salute the crew aboard the Ausvalic Laboratory, and offer our geological maps of its locality. We cannot promise this will lead to a discovery, given the difficulty of acquring information on the bedrock below the regolith, but we hope it functions as a token of our trust in Ausvalia.
"You know why we're all here." stated the Minister of Defense.
"We gather here as of now for the debate against the continued use of nuclear weapons in our arsenal of weapons. This has been an issue for the past few years, considering our vow to support democracy through peaceful and non-forceful means no matter the issue."
"I'd like to stop you there." said a voice in the crowd of checkers.
"In light of your hypocrisy, we have breached this vow multiple times. Hell, you've been in your position for the past five years, and now you're trying to use that ancient vow against us here?"
"Now, Harris, you know that elections are coming soon, so you best not-"
"What about those times in Greshimprea!? We weren't supporting democracy, we were supporting our own hubris and dreams of power on the world stage that simply would never come-" Harris was quickly cut off when MoD Jeffery's mic suddenly emanated a high-pitch shriek, and nearly everyone in the room quickly covered their ears in pain.
"You're sliding off-topic, if you were to join us back here in reality, that'd be perfect."
Nobody in the seats above him gave a word, and Jeffery resumed his speech.
"The world has changed since 1987. The nations that once we considered enemies are gone now. There is no need to keep these inhuman and immoral weapons in the face of-"
"I object, we haven't even used these-" A voice in the crowd was suddenly silenced by the collective shush coming from the Liberal and Nationalist seats of the crowd.
"...in the face of chaotic and immoral governments that could one day destroy us all. These times have passed, and the world agrees. This is why I am putting forth a plan to honor the words of our Kaiser, and finally, end the use of nuclear weapons in Corlenia's arsenals!"
The crowd of checkers erupted in a mix of laughter, cheers, and shouts of rage. Members of the Liberal and Conservative parties started screaming at each other in disagreement, and some individuals even stood up and started to leave.
"SILENCE! Come to your senses and make an intellectual decision! It is a pressing issue, I know, but seriously, do you expect me to make the decision myself if you all won't just shut yourselves!?"
Are we clear?
Good, now let's take a moment to come to a conclusion. A thirty-minute break of concentration is now in order."
At Jeffery's word, the checkers huddled into their groups and began to speak in their strange, forbidden languages of politics.
[After the collective discussions]
"Alright then, your thirty minutes are now over, have we come to an agreement?" Jeffery looked out to the crowd with a stringent eye, waiting for the slightest flinch to point out.
The seats slowly nodded as the group heads brought out their speeches, as it would be considered rude to speak when not spoken to in a court meeting, especially one with a minister in the room.
"Your honor, sir, our liberal party has come to agree with your statement, considering that it would not only show our belief of right of safety, even in warfare to the rest of the world. We could possibly even put forth plans to outlaw all use of plutonium and uranium nuclear reactors as well." The nationalists and conservatives looked on in obvious dismay and disappointment, but now was not the time for an argument, the liberals were silently applauding themselves for their 'stellar performance' once again.
"AHEM..." violently hacked a voice from the conservative section
"Your most gracious honor, in the voice of all logical and skilled conservatives I represent, we would like to argue in support of your claim. We too believe that it is pointless to keep these terrible weapons of mass destruction in our arsenal, but we also say that we shalt not let go of our nuclear reactors. They simply prove too valuable to simply remove entirely."
silence filled the room as the conservative speaker ended his statement.
"Alright then, that just leaves us with the... nationalists. SIGH... just make it quick."
"My opulent and most graceful lord- uh... minister, I believe that we should keep these weapons in disdain of the others. After all, we are in a world where nations such as Jezabelstien are free to run around on their own. So I would personally choose to keep our most valuable weapons... CHOOSE WISELY, DEAR MINISTER."
After letting off a small snicker, the nationalist speaker simply said: "Uhh... little inside joke we have."
"Okay then, after adding all those together, considering that the nationalist side is relatively small compared to the 63 others... we have it 63 to 17. In that case, our vote is considered PASSED. we will telegram central in a moment. Now, I would like to thank everyone for coming today. Your voices mean much to us."
With a collective nod and salute from the guards in the room, the checkers trickled out through the double-doors at the end of the room.
To the nations of Northern Utopia,
Us here in Corlenia would like to announce that as of now, our nation will be entering a state of denuclearization. Within the next few weeks, our current stockpile of 300 nuclear warheads will be reduced to zero, and the waste products and radioactive material will be transferred into nuclear reactors, which will then be used to replace whatever coal-powered powerplants remain in our cities, though they will be placed further out, as not to pose too much of a threat.
We would also like to announce that if you have found such a war criminal as those recovered from what once was the wreck of the JNV Wrathfire, we would like to ask that they be turned over to Corlenian hands.
Thank you for your patience,
The Corlenian Ministry of Defense
Upper House Confirms Tim Johnson for Police Commissioner
Today the Upper House confirmed the President's pick for Police Commissioner, veteran officer Tim Johnson.
Mr. Johnson is taking office in the midst of unprecedented police and community division. Three of the last five police commissioners quit or were fired after mounting scandals. The new commissioner will face numerous problems outside of public opinion with major police budget cuts and a historic shortage of officers. Johnson is hoping he can change all that.
Tim Johnson has worked as a police officer for over 30 years, serving as a Lieutenant, Captain, and Police Chief at some of the biggest police departments in the country.
Since he started walking the halls, he has said there is a lot of work to do.
"This is about the citizens of this country, and if they are not being serviced then officers who are not serving them need to be gone. Right now it is all about restructure, restructure, restructure. These citizens deserve better, they've been beat down long enough and I can give them back what they are rightfully due. To be able to walk around their cities and feel safe about it. The fear of walking down a block and getting robbed or beat has got to stop. We are taking our country back. You have to be proactive. It is about the protection of this country and the reduction of crime. You gotta know how to go out and get dirty. The AusValia country is going to see a completely new police force, we are going to go in there with zero tolerance. I don't care what hole they have crawled in to, what house they crawled under, we are going to crawl up under there and bring them out. We are going to enforce every law that is in the book. I am forming a new force, called the CAT Squad, they are going into the high crime areas. It is going to look like a military operation. This is my country and we are going to take it back, we are going to take it back."
Gold Coast Mayor Robert Richie Announces Bid for President
Just a day after the first candidate, Minority Leader Russell announced his bid for President, so is Mayor Robert Richie.
Richie has been Mayor of one of the nation's biggest tourism cities, Gold Coast, for eight years. Before that he served in the State Legislature for twelve years. Richie is very popular in his city, with a 67% approval rating, however early polling data shows he is favored as a Conservative candidate by only 2% of voters.
Name recognition will certainly be the hardest part for the Richie campaign, unlike that of Robert Russell who is serving on a national scale.
HOLY FUXICALS DID YOU GIRLS SEE THE TANK.
IT BLEW THAT BIRD RIGHT THE FUXC UP.
do they really have that big fat thing it looked really cool i wonder how much concrete that gun coulf smassh
Looked like some kind of mammoth mod i think they probably had to make a real model maybe i hope we see it again
i knew that feng girl was in with the meridian hordes, silly silken promise magic is too week for the firepow3r of that phat mamm
also lilxrikk for lyfe
screw you kk, lilla is my wife
OH MY GOD I WAS AT THE THING AND THEY HAD ALL THE GIRLS AND THE TANK AND THE VERYTHING AND IT WAS HANDING OUT CANDY AND MAYBE I SAW IRENE I DON'T KNOW BUT THAT TANK IS REAL GIRLS
also lillia wouldn't want to waste time with you, she's with nessia
what the tank is real whats the specs did it really have that big gun on it
i think it was a model they wouldn't let me climb on it or take pictures but its REAL
send me them when they develop pls
ill give cookies and hugs
im gonna take them down the place and fill out ALL THE FORMS and we'll all have a big scrap book
also meridia is evil and needs to die like yesterday
she nearly killed rikki she's so mean
also im gonna go ask my mom if i can be a witch
kool best of chops to you
i think im still set on going to niaad and getting on a boat maybe even get my own and then go nuke kjanu