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🎶Caxina's Drag Race! Start your Engines! Caxina's Drag Race May the Best Drag Queen Win🎶

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[EN Version]

The Queens all entered the werkroom dancing and celebrating. Totarina wasn’t really a… beloved character amongst the group. She was overly stiff and not really friendly most of the times. She was frequently rude or dismissive of other queens and could they really miss someone like her? Of course not. Today was a party, especially for the newly Crowned Lip-sync Assassin of the season, Bruxa Má do Oeste, who survived her fourth lip-sync and her third in a row.

Totarina didn’t even write a mirror message, her workstation was also incredibly messy. Did she have a tantrum in here? Wait there is also… is that… CUT THE CAMERAS

After a criminal cleaning crew was called in the Queens returned to werkroom. What a messy situation huh? What do you mean we have to pretend we didn’t see that? It was transmitted in National Television… I’M NOT PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS NANY!

“TOP 5 LADIES!” Madame Marco cheered after all the mess was cleared. “Finally only the talented ones are left”

“I don’t know about that… after all they are still here!” Guida looked at Bruxa Má do Oeste and Miss Betty Wintour with a very condescending look

“I don’t know why you are boasting so much, I don’t remember you winning a challenge since the first week we were here” Bruxa Má replied right after

“But I do remember you getting saved from the bottom due to your runway looks even when you underperform in the challenge. What’s up with that Gurl? Have you spent your free time beneath the judges table, is it?” Miss Betty added without missing a breath

“Well it’s not my fault that you don’t have good taste, is it? Maybe step up your game and you won’t be in the bottom because your runways are as unmemorable as you are” Guida turns to Bruxa Má “But I don’t think we will be seeing much of your face for very long when you just keep being so mediocre”

“Say that one more time and I’m going to rip your hair off your scalp Miss Thing.” Bruxa Má started taking her earrings off and was prepared to make her words reality.

“Oh you’re going to hit me? Do it b*tch! Maybe you’ll get kicked out earlier than I thought!”

Thankfully, before anyone might have gotten hurt Valéria and surprisingly Madame Marco intervened and separated the two Queens. Miss Betty took her friend to the other side of the werkroom and spent the next few minutes trying to calm down Bruxa Má, while Valéria CP gave a very stern talking down to Guida while Madame Marco was there just giving moral support and agreeing with Valéria. Who would have thought seeing that mess would have riled off the Queens like this?

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The Queens came back to the werkroom, a new day had begun and after a good night’s sleep they were all much calmer now than they were the day before. Guida especially looked almost in a state of regret and Bruxa Má was also much calmer and also looked a bit apologetic.

“Bruxa Má, I would like to apologise for my comments yesterday. I tried to rile you up and get beneath your skin so that you would get disqualified and I’m sorry that I made you feel any kind of way”

Everyone looked surprised at Guida out of all people apologizing.

“Well, I’m a bit taken aback by your apology. I wasn’t really expecting you to apologise. But I too am sorry by my reaction, I overreacted, and I lost my temper.”

The two Queens hugged it out. How cute. Who would have thought these two out of all people would have such a cute moment.

“The competition is getting under all of our nerves. I’m glad you two were able to sort your differences.” Valéria sighed in relief, watching the emotional hug happen in front of her. And then… The bell rang.

Nany Invictus entered the room, surprised with the burst of emotion there.

“Hello Hello Hello Ladies! Am I interrupting something? I know we are all terribly sad with the departure of our dearly beloved Totarina but there’s no need to cry” The queens separated and laughed at such a notion. Did anyone miss her? Truly? “But well… to lighten up the mood today’s mini challenge is PUPPETS!”

The Pit Crew members entered the workroom carrying a puppet stage and a big box with a hole in it.

“Very well Gurls, you are going to shove your fist inside that box and the puppet which you get is going to be who you are going to parody. First up, since you won the last challenge, Valéria!”

Valéria went to the box and pulled a puppet that looked like Guida Escarlate out of drag, which almost didn’t pass through the hole cause even the puppets ego was so big.

“Guess I got Miss Delulu. Get ready to be read to filth gurl”

Next went, Madame Marco, who shoved her hand inside the box and pulled a puppet of Miss Betty Wintour out of drag.

“Oh, so I got the local one… boring”

Betty went after her and pulled a puppet of Madame Marco of the box, an identical representation of the blond twink she was out of drag.

“Hello Madame Marco, guess it’s time to teach you real drag”

Madame Marco scoffed at the comment, while Guida Escarlate went to pick her own puppet of the box, getting handed a Bruxa Má puppet.

“Don’t take it personally, will you?” she looked to Bruxa Má who laughed

Lastly came Bruxa Má who pulled the only puppet left, the puppet of Valéria CP.

“Oh, she’s a hard nut to crack but I’m going to try my best.”

The Queens all rushes to their workstations, working on the puppets and making them look like parody versions of each other. Some more successful than others in their transformation and some more shady and funny in their parodies. While Miss Betty and Madame Marco simply insulted each other using puppets, raising eyebrows from the other queens. Guida Escarlate did… an adequate job, maybe walking over eggshells, but not near as rude as she usually is. Bruxa Má gave it her all, but it was as she said, Valéria was truly a tough nut to crack and getting dirt on her without it sounding mean or unnecessary was really hard, besides she was a friend. But Valéria? Oh, this was her home turf, this was her kind of challenge, she was RUTHLESS. But not ruthless mean, oh no she was shady and funny. All the queens laughed, even Guida who usually took shade at heart.

“Valéria CP… About your Guida Escarlate impression I have one thing to say... Your Delulu was the Solulu! Condragulations dear you are the winner of today’s mini challenge! As a prize for your excellent performance, you are going to receive a surprise in this Week’s Untucked”

“Now Ladies, do you know what’s the most searched content on the internet? That’s right it’s corn!” she pullet a corncob filled with kernels out of… somewhere “ And that’s why in this week’s maxi challenge you are going to design and create an outfit entirely out of farm materials! Our esteemed farmers from Caxina… I mean who am I kidding we don’t have those! LADIES, start your engines! And May the best Drag queen, WIN!”

The Queens rushed to grab everything they could get their hands on and immediately got into work. Some already had a mental image of what they wanted to do, others… well they were going to wing it. Some fought for materials and others… well others were stirring drama in the werkroom. After all, it is drag race, what is drag race without shade and drama? And if you were going to say it’s Survivor you are wrong! Survivor is drag race but less gay!

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“Now Ladies, it’s time for you to BRING IT TO THE RUNWAY! Category is: Farm Ladies Eleganza!”(all outfits will be described because I’m feeling generous and it’s the challenge)

“First up, Bruxa Má do Oeste, serving Country Chic Cowgirl”

Bruxa Má do Oeste came out on runway with a mini dress made of patched denim hugs the body, with a flared skirt created from layers of hay bales for volume. Leather straps crisscrossed over the bodice, adding a rustic edge to the simple look. A checkered fabric neckerchief and a simple straw hat completed the look. She tried to sell the outfit to the judges, showing her sexier side and the construction of the garment.

“Next up, Guida Escarlate, bringing us Pastoral Princess Realness”

The Ofiussian Queen came into the runway wearing a dress made of cotton and adorned with flower petals and leaves. The bodice featured a simple, fitted design, while the skirt flared out with layers of soft, flowing cotton. Twine was used as a belt and to create delicate, nature-inspired patterns on the dress. A crown of fresh flowers completed the look. She acted nice on the runway trying to highlight the small details in the fabric.

“And now, Madame Marco, emulating her inner Rustic Barnyard Belle”

The Queen from the European Union appeared wearing a knee-length dress made from repurposed burlap sacks, cinched at the waist with a rope belt. Wooden buttons ran down the front of the dress, adding a quaint, handmade feel. Chicken feathers are used sparingly to create a feathered collar and cuffs. The simple outfit tried to be cute, and she tried her best to sell the outfit, using her natural charisma to do so.

“Who’s that? It’s Miss Betty Wintour, giving us Enchanted Forest Queen”

The “local” Queen slowly entered the runway wearing a gown made of layers of soft, green moss, with intricate patterns of ivy leaves spiralling around her body. Twigs and branches were woven into the design, creating a structured yet organic silhouette. Bioluminescent fungi were strategically placed throughout the outfit, glowing softly in low light, giving the ensemble a magical, otherworldly feel. Delicate butterfly wings were used as accents on the shoulders and skirt, adding a touch of whimsy and colour. Finally, she wore a crown of twigs and ivy, with glowing fungi and butterfly wings decorating it. The judges were immediately taken aback by the look, and she sold it as a true monarch would.

“Last but not least, Valéria CP serving Golden Harvest Diva”

The Queen from Alentejo and Algarve turned the corner into the runway wearing a shimmering gown entirely of woven golden hay, tailored to hug the body and flare out into an extravagant train. Corn husks create an intricate bodice with a plunging neckline, adorned with hand-painted pumpkin vines that spiral down the dress, adding vibrant green accents. She made a scepter out of corn stalks and decorated with glass shards, golden berries and copper wire. She looked regal and even pulled golden wheat grains out of nowhere, making a rain of wheat in the runway, to the judges awe.

After all the queens walked the runway, they all came back to the stage, doing a bit of a presentation of their looks, Fashion Catwalk style, to receive their critiques from the judges.

“Ladies, tonight two of you were stars while the rest were… fading. Valéria CP and Miss Betty you are the top two queens of the week"

She paused once more and turned her gaze to the top queens

“Valéria CP this was another amazing night for you. Your garment is just… perfection. It is so well constructed and so detailed. It looks like a lot of time and effort, and it certainly paid off. We knew you were an amazing seamstress and designer, but this is just on a whole other level than what we have seen before.” the Queen smiled and bowed her head hearing such praise

“And the other shining star tonight, Miss Betty Wintour. You won the ball with your amazing performance back then and tonight you gave us everything. Your look is on point, the accessories look amazing, you clearly know what you are doing and gurl, if I ever need a new outfit I’m calling your number. You are so much than just a local girl; you are a talented ass b*tch and never forget that you are making this country proud every week!” Miss Betty smiled hearing those critiques.

“Madame Marco, this week the look just feels subpar in comparison with what you have been showing us. It feels like it is lacking the star factor which you usually bring every single time. It’s a cute outfit, but if you look at Valéria or Miss Betty they just… gave so much more this week than you did. Honestly, I am a bit disappointed in you. Is there anything you would like to say?”

“Well, I just didn’t have time to finish everything that I wanted to do. Miss Betty was being very distracting in the werkroom, and I do think she tried to sabotage me in this challenge.”

Miss Betty immediately looks at her, shocked

“Miss Betty, would you like to respond to Madame Marco or could we move on to the next critique”

“As a matter of fact Mother Nany, yes. Yes, I would like to respond to Madame Marco. You are a liar and a cheater. None of the girls complained about me and if they had done it, I would have stopped. But It’s weird that you out of all people, you who was singing that you were already going to win this, you that tried to steal my materials is trying to come and throw me under the bus. No ma’am. We all had the same amount of time, use it better maybe.”

Madame Marco scoffed at Miss Betty’s answer and the judges gasped but continued giving critiques to the queens.

“Guida Escarlate, the main problem I have with your garment is that it feels like it’s a white dress and you glued stuff onto it. It doesn’t feel like you made it from scratch and that’s not bad per se, but at this point of the competition we are expecting more than what you presented on the runway.” Guida bowed her head hearing that critique, for once showing some humility on the stage[i]

“And finally… Bruxa Má do Oeste. And once again, not to sound repetitive, we need more. Your garment is… not bad, but it just feels like it’s once more a bit basic. A bit rough around the edges and most of all, looks like it’s heavily relying on your body and not on itself. We understand the concept and where you are coming from, but at the same time it is just not on the same level as some of the other outfits presented here tonight.”

[i]Nany did a pause before clapping her hands.

“While the judges and I deliberate, you girls go join the others in the Untuck Lounge”

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Back on the stage, Nany Invictus looked to the 5 competitors before delivering the final placements of the episode.

“Ladies I’ve Made some Decisions!”Nany did a dramatic pause.

“Valéria CP, tonight you were our Golden Harvest Goddess, cause Diva isn’t enough for what you showed on the runway”

“Miss Betty Wintour, your outfit enchanted us and Twitter Twinks will always say your runway saved lifes”

Once again the dramatic judge, Nany, did a pause and then continued

“Valéria CP, you are the winner of this week’s challenge!” Miss Betty hugged Valéria, who almost started crying in the stage “You won a 1000€ gift card to spend at Bymba e Lola[i] and the opportunity to alongside two other persons of your choice to participate in the prestigious Caxina Fashion Week”

“Miss Betty Wintour, you are safe. You may step to the back of the stage.”

[i]The two top queens went to the back of the stage, with Miss Betty hugging and supporting the overwhelmed Valéria CP

Nany did a small pause and looked to the bottom queens with some pity.

“Madame Marco, tonight your attitude on the stage showed us that obstacles are needed for you to grow. I’m sorry my dear but you are up for elimination” The queen from European Union nodded and just accepted her fate, however her face showed the fear of going home so close to the crown.

“Guida Escarlate, your outfit tonight was… meh”

“Bruxa Má do Este, your fashion was basic and your runway gave us mediocrity”

Nany paused for a moment looking at the two queens

“Bruxa Má do Oeste, I’m sorry my dear, but you are also up for elimination” The queen from Kukinalia cried a bit, while Guida hugged her before leaving to the back of the stage

“Two Queens stand before me. Prior to tonight, you were asked to prepare a lip-sync performance to the Hurt by Christina Aguilera!” The camera cuts to the rest of the cast, with the queens looking worried for the two other contestants “Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourself FROM ELIMINATION! The time has come for you to lip-sync… for your life! Good luck and don’t funk it up!”

This lipsync would go on to be reminded as one of the worst in the show’s history. Bruxa Má do Oeste barely moved from her spot and gave a stone cold performance with barely any emotion, only mouthing the words so that the judges wouldn’t stop the show. Meanwhile Madame Marco completely misread the theme of the song and gave a performance which was anything but what the song called for. It was messy and unnecessary, especially when Bruxa Má had already given up. The queens in the back were screaming for Bruxa Má to do something, but she stayed there… giving up. A sad sad show for a sad sad song.

After they were done, the Queens in the back all looked shocked, while Nany and the rest of the judges left the Judges Table and went to meet with the producers. One could see in Nany’s face that she wanted to eliminate the two of them right there and then. She came back after several minutes arguing with the producers, clearly very frustrated, as was everyone else form the Judges Pannel

“Madame Marco, for your performance throughout the season and due to the fact that we are so close to the final… Shantay! You Stay!”

The queen from European Union thanked Nany and went to the back of the stage, without even looking at Bruxa Má do Oeste

“Bruxa Má do Oeste, your run in the show was truly enchanting. Now Sashay away!”

The queen from Kukinalia went to the back of the stage, crying. Miss Betty, Valéria and Guida all went to hug her one last time.

“I put a spell on you. But you f*ckers had salt!” She announced proudly, doing a pose and pretending to melt while exiting out of the runway.

"Ladies! If you can’t love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else can I get a gayman up in here?!" Nany told the girls, from the judge’s table

The Queen screamed “Gayman”

“Now let the Music Play!” Hurt by Christina Aguilera was heard on the runway and the queens exited the stage while duckwalking and having a party on the stage really. A top 4 was crowned, and the crown in at a hairs length away.

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[Versão PT]
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