After a peaceful public knitting class was dispersed by riot police, the citizenry are up in arms at what they perceive as unnecessary police brutality.

I don't see the problem.

Armans and Allergic to water

Allergic to water

3 years 238 days ago

nuclear warheads are frequently launched into space as a warning to invading meteoroids
seems legit

Armans

Ilstur

3 years 238 days ago

Allergic to water wrote:

nuclear warheads are frequently launched into space as a warning to invading meteoroids
seems legit

gotta spook them away

Armans

3 years 237 days ago

Guns or Butter?

awesome headline, but no I'm not defunding my military thanks for asking

Allergic to water

3 years 230 days ago

Square Townian scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack

what do you think?

I also started pumping the entire workforce with meth and dropped average lifespan by like 6 years

Armans and Tri-tri-squircles

Ilstur

3 years 230 days ago

I do love me some bacon & meth

Armans

3 years 225 days ago

Gun ownership is compulsory.

not particularly funny or clever, but still necessary

Allergic to water

3 years 225 days ago

“Burial plots are so expensive these days, few people are opting for them anyway,” says Retirement Home owner, Nyota Drake. “Let’s just go for that final push and make cremation compulsory. Some people may not be happy with it, but when you get right down to it, it’s only setting fire to their loved ones against their will - you must agree that that’s less important than expanding suburban development.”

the top was an option for how to deal with the increasing dead

barges of dissidents are being "reeducated through water therapy" in the South Electricity Sea.

Also throwing the complainers into the sea? i think so

Armans

Ilstur

3 years 225 days ago

When I die I want my remains to be scattered over the world.

I also don't want to be cremated.

Armans

3 years 224 days ago

“Wait, we do the work, and you pocket the profits?” asks local farmer Gillian Hansen somewhat incredulously, as she slides on an elbow-length rubber glove in a worryingly menacing fashion.

How do you put on a rubber glove used for rectal examination in horses and cows in a non-menacing fashion?

Tri-tri-squircles

3 years 224 days ago

Declan Zhimo, avid contributor to the magazine Anarchist Monthly, presents a different opinion. “The last thing we need is more police. In fact, I think the people would be better off with more heroes like the Dogman. Let’s face it. The police are known for corruption and brutality. Let the people take the law into their own hands, and we’ll have a utopia where issues are settled without fascist pigs telling us what we can and can’t do! It’ll be perfect, trust me.”

This is........timely. The perfect solution? "Embarrassed police officers wear spandex and carry net guns." Yes.

Armans

Ilstur

3 years 215 days ago

Nukes are happening again.

Ilstur

3 years 210 days ago

lol we missed N-day

Armans

3 years 209 days ago

Ilstur wrote:

lol we missed N-day