by Max Barry

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Crassia RMB

WA Delegate: None.

Founder: The Slavic Empire of Golgothia

Last WA Update:

Board Activity History Admin Rank

Most Nations: 218th Largest Black Market: 849th Largest Retail Industry: 1,246th+4
Most Corrupt Governments: 1,608th Highest Disposable Incomes: 1,659th Most Devout: 1,907th Most Avoided: 2,131st
World Factbook Entry

Founded from the husks of Grecia and Aleria on January 10, 2019.

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Tags: Anti-General Assembly, Anti-Security Council, Anti-World Assembly, Large, Offsite Chat, and Role Player.

Crassia contains 61 nations, the 218th most in the world.

Today's World Census Report

The Largest Furniture Restoration Industry in Crassia

World Census analysts spend quiet weekends in the countryside in order to determine which nations have the largest Furniture Restoration industries.

As a region, Crassia is ranked 3,739th in the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Nation of Cream SauceFather Knows Best State“Avanti, Cream Sauce!”
2.The United States of Visual StatesCorporate Police State“Efficiency through Executions”
3.The Slavic Empire of GolgothiaIron Fist Consumerists“Salutem populi servat Caesar”
4.The People's Republic of Le Meme DankeCorporate Police State“Memes are truly the dankest”
5.The Free Imperial Republic of JanususCompulsory Consumerist State“Physical removal is necessary for a libertarian society”
6.The State of SaeganCompulsory Consumerist State“Do storms pity the drowned?”
7.The United Archipelago of The Dolphin IslesLeft-Leaning College State“Dying on your feet is better than living on your knees”
8.The Tyranny of HadadiaCorporate Police State“sīc semper ēvellō mortem līberātōribus”
9.The Imperium of FoledoniaFather Knows Best State“The Emperor Protects!”
10.The Nomadic Peoples of ZumabaCorporate Police State“Tribe Above All”
1234. . .67»

Regional Happenings


Crassia Regional Message Board

The High Order must express its disappointed with the path Maryland Of Jellyfish has taken. The combined Navies of the Folk's Reach and the holy friedman empire have been advised to hold the blockade in force. If pushed by a breach of the blockade they have been advised to engage in totality; any and all vessels who have not submitted cargo manifests, or have been found to be carrying armorments will be fired on and seized as was made clear in an open and transparent manner.

We advise Maryland Of Jellyfish against this action as the direct opening up of hostilities against us will in effect stallout any negotiations between Meatton and The Folks Order and will only lead to bloodshed.

We advise Maryland Of Jellyfish to consider the lives of those who will be effected by their actions rather then economics or their treasury.

We ask that Meatton disavow and reject the actions of Maryland Of Jellyfish least we view their potential acts of violance as being done in your name. This simple declaration must be made before negotiations can continue. Also we'd like to remind Meatton that there are currently no Wilderish boots on the Islands, However that will change shortly if you make no effort in curtailing Maryland Of Jellyfish then reachout to us in an official capacity.

Boreal's Blessings.

The prime minister of Cool Guys Club, Cool Johnson release an official statement on the Foledonia situation.

"We have almost concluded ongoing discussions with Foledonia and the nations that were worried of conflict in between the two nations need not to worry. There are no signs of conflict in between our two great nations."

Camera cuts and goes over back to the news anchor.

"In other news The great Kingdom recently banned cars..."

Somewhere in the international waters between Meatton and The Folks Order a Katana Class submarine sits below the water, its antennas deployed listening.

The Folk's Beacon
By appointment to his Lordship the Lord Harbinger Wulfwic I and the good folk of the Reach

Due to the continued reluctance of Meatton to make any true move to meet with the High Order in any official capacity, the Order has begun Operation Wayward Islands.

The Events depicted below are from reports by our war correspondents, and declarations by Authorities in Folk's Reach.

12:00am FRT (Folk’s Reach Time)
Squadrons of light bombers armed with information leaflets left the Western Coast of Folk's Reach, Escorted by Fighters and joined by recon-craft. Each heading to one of the three Islands, then further to any major settlements on the islands.

2:30am FRT
The Squadrons made it to their targets locations and unloaded their paper payloads,

The papers read as follows,

“TO THE GOOD FOLK OF THE ISLANDS, Due to the incompetence of your government, we the High Order have been forced to act. We wish you no harm and as such we will allow you time to leave for the mainland of the Islands. Any and all Settlements and military installations are at high risk of military engagement.

To avoid this, lower your flags, and give up any arms which you hold. Radio the FRN Command with your unconditional surrender.

If you fail to do the above, we shall begin bombardment at noon, (FRT) Before noon we shall sound sirens for 60 minutes at regular intervals for further notification of bombardment. These precautions are for the safety of the innocent, flee while you can.”

The Recon-Craft split off and scouted the Islands and returned to the mainland at their own time.

6:00am FRT
The Legion Marines, and infantry Divisions, the FRAF (Folk’s Reach Air Force), the FFZ Folk’s Fortress Zepilines, Attack helicopters, and paratroopers begin final preparations.

8:00am FRT
FFZ begin transit to the blockade and will await further orders.

11:00am FRT,
The FRN detachment sounds sirens for 60 minutes at regular intervals anchored with in range of coastal assets.

12:00pm RFT,
All ships open fire on coastal assets and the sirens fade, before being replaced with the sounds of speakers blasting Grand Army Songs (Think Soviet Marches) with the sound naval battery firing. Additional munitions will be transported to the detachment via escorted transports if needed to continue the bombardment.

1:00pm FRT
The bombardment continues.

2:00pm FRT
The bombardment continues.

3:00pm FRT
The bombardment continues. The FRAF takes flight to neutralize any hostile targets left on the coasts. This consists of fighter missions, and a light bombing campaign.

4:00pm FRT
The bombardment continues. FRAF arrive to little resistance.

4:30pm FRT
The bombardment continues, Transport aircraft with paratroopers take flight for strategic locations on the islands. The Legion marines, and Legion/Guardsmen vanguard embark on escorted transports to meet with the FRN detachment aided with Attack helicopter support.

6:00pm FRT
The bombardment continues with aerial support. The FFZ make way for settlements and facilities still defiant. The Legion marines, and Legion/Guardsmen vanguard make way for afull landing on the Islands, 10 division are destined to arrive for each of the three islands.

6:30pm FRT
The bombardment ceases. Some targets have surrendered. The Paratrooper make landing and engage with with any resistance as they make way to key locations. The first of the Marines and Vanguard land and put down any resistance found. FFZ Super Heavy zeppelins do not drop any of their payload, however they play audio transmissions and Military marches (Think The Soviet March :P) over their large outdoor speaker systems.

8:00pm FRT
Most significant settlements have been occupied by the Order’s Forces in some way. The capitulation of the three islands have been assumed as the High Order’s Banners are raised on government buildings and remaining installations, further sweeps across the islands will be made to ensure full control of the Islands. The FRAF and FFZ will occupy and enlarge and airfields on the Islands, and will build new ones as needed.

It has been declared that in the following days, the High Order will be sending Craftsmen to begin the reconstruction and development of communities and industries on the islands. Further it has been claimed by our own war correspondence that transports delivering,

“Hundreds of ragged Low Threat Plebs”

We suspect these plebs will help in the reconstruction effort, in addition holding them off the mainland is suspected to help lower the tensions within the pleb communities.
The Charitable Order have been allowed access to the occupied Islands, to allow with aiding the local folk. There aid will work alongside the High Order’s aid depots which are to give food, medicine, and craft goods to the local folk of the island.

The High Order has claimed today that,

“Now that we hold these islands,be it be for a day or a thousand years, it is our duty to save these savages from their suffering and bring them the light of Boreal’s Civilization.”

This was said in regards to a prosperity plan for the islands, The plan outlines the development of new centrally planned cities, towns, and industries, with planed temples, baths, schools, housing, and theaters. Along with the distribution of craft goods like cheese, beer, tobacco, sofas, radios, and clothing. It has been estimated that the High Order Plans on rehousing over three hundredfold and fifty thousand Rigtwise Plebs and Wilderish onto the Islands for the projects in the foreseeable future

From the Prospective of a Folk's Guardsmen on landing

The smoke still filled the air from the bombardment, we had expected an army, but there was just turned soil, rubble, and deserted towns. Along with my comrades dressed in the New Kit the High order granted we ran from the transports. We, had on the new grey longcoats, blacken body armor, and steel helms and ran from the beaches, wood stocked automatic rifles in hand to find nothing. Later came the new tanks and after the Legion in their armored trucks.

"From the distance I could see the colossal zeppelins with their sets of helicopter like rotor blades, I had heard they could flatten a city with the munitions inside. I expected to hear an earth shattering boom, but I just heard Marches and commissars bellowing from it. It seems we won, not that we'd really fought yet."

Statements from the High Order on the Wayward Islands

The High Order will remain in the Western Islands, and aid the Folk here to become civilized citizens of the World. The new Authorities on the Islands will be engaged immediately with pacification, and the stomping out of the local populations savage tendencies in regards to Human Cannibalism.

Programs on proper hygiene, proper meal preparation, on public dignity and civility, and most importantly on how to live Rightwise in eyes of Boreal. The High Order has also claimed that it is possible that once reconstruction and reform is complete, home rule will be granted to the Islands for the duration of this cold conflict.

The Islands while under Reach control will begin to house low threat plebs, and Wilderish civilians immediately. This is to hasten the reconstruction effort. The High Order guarantees the local people of the Island, work, pay, and the same craft comforts the Wilderish Folk enjoy on the Mainland. In addition to begin shortly, those who do not wish to remain on the island under the Reach's Order, will be granted safe passage to the Main island of Meatton. Others who welcome Wilderish civilization will be enrolled into the watchmen for civilizing.

Boreal's Light Shine.

More News to Come


This was done at the strategic advice of leading Empiral and the folks order generals who are currently engaged with the Meatton on more emprial terms. As you are watching this now, the empire has begun to set up coastal installations for naval and air units as with the news that the army is considering flying out to the north of the continent to assist with  retaining the land if any resistance is met.

We will bring you updates on the Meatton crisis and An-Capistan as they happen, here at FNN

"All data is on the hard drives. Destroy the laptops and toss them in the dumpster outside. I'll grab the antennas from out back."

Kurt says as his team quickly and efficiently tears down their safe house at 0400. Few civilians have seen the leaflets dropped yet but the streets are littered with them. Kurt wraps up the last antenna and stores it in his backpack. He checks the time, 0426, time to leave. Kurt jogs around front where the rest of his four person team already have their vehicle started and ready to go. Kurt hops in the passenger seat and the team drive towards to coast. They arrive at a small marina and procure a small dingy to get them to their exfiltration point. The small boat putters along for about thirty minutes before Kurt's GPS pings. Once in position the team dive the short distance to the awaiting submarine.

After repeated attempts to facilitate communications with Meatton, the High Order sent an official delegation to their capital via Helicopter Gunships and FFZ Light Zeppelins. Upon reaching the city only the chaos of a land without leadership could be seen.

“It appears that the government has disappeared in full, the council chambers are empty, the government offices are deserted, there doesn’t appear to be any sort of authority here at all” - Captain Victor Burnside.

The High Order has stated that due to this unprecedented turn of events the High Order will now move in an established order. All of what was once known as Meatton shall be integrated into the Reach, efforts to combat rogue warlords, native vigilantly justice, and unsavory traditions will be priority.

The High Order has declared that all Meattonese shall be given the title of Citizen after basic workshops and programs to help integrate them into civilized living. Further semi-autonomous realms within the reach will be granted to the Meattonese as to allow them to maintain their compatible traditions.

The Blockade will be disbanded upon the Legion and Folk’s Guards landing and occupation of the territory. Further a Land lease of the main Islands Southern Coast will be granted to The
Holy Friedman Empire, the terms of which will be public listed shortly. In additions two port sites will be granted to Golgothia, in the West and East of the Islands.

The High Order announced that, "although we the Wilderish are at war with the Plebs of the Mainland, we shall not exact such cruelties on your folk. You the Meattonese Plebs have suffered under the yolk of savagery, you the Meattonese Plebs have done little to deserve the chaos which rules your lands currently, and as such every resource available to the High Order will be granted in the rebuilding, and lifting of your people to a place of decency and civility which is Boreal's Light. As your Folk are now the wards of the Wilderish we proclaim that we shall guide you to a new dawn of glory"

With that being said the High Order has commanded that the fifty divisions which had been at the ready to embark and land immediately on the Islands. A dedicated center for administration of the Islands will be set up, as it is assumed that the Foreign and Commonwealth Office will be to overburden with the sudden governance of these new lands. The road to prosperity will be long, but by the Gods we shall prevail.

New Developments will be announced as they happen


Reports are flooding in that the nation of Meatton has descended into chaos. Unconfirmed rumors state governmental officials have been killed by the people. The Folks Order and the Empire are going to land on Meatton and save them from themselves, announced the administration today. While we aren't sure the long term ramifications will be for the Empire, we will have to see how the meattonians react to foreign powers in the nation.


Issue Volume Number: 01
Issue Number: 03
Public Issuing Date: 21.10.2019
Issuing Sites: Rural and Urban Settlement Sites

Issued by the Publications Division (D-Com/PD) of the Directory of Communications (D-Com). Publication approved by the Division for Media Regulation (D-IS/MR) of the Directory of Internal Security (D-IS).

Project Gharial

As the Joint Staff Meeting on Foreign Affairs in Vraeperton ended, it was asked to reassemble again in Usula under the designation of Joint Committee Meeting on Project Gharial. The Projects main ambition is to work towards the establishment of a stable and civilized state in what is being named the Gharial Peninsula of Western Meatton (Note: this name was not chosen in relation to any prior name established by Meatton and has been chosen as a temporary placeholder name, as "the peninsula resembled somewhat the jaw of a gharial" according to an unspecified Director.)

The Committee first noted that the proposal is not necessarily hostile to the efforts being put into place currently by The Folks Order, as the Committee wanted to act as quickly as possible so as no further crisis starts on the island and both efforts of stabilisation will be joined eventually. It has also expressed concerns about the administration being placed under the control of a once enemy of Meatton aswell as that "civilizing the region would be best done by an already civilized state", which was not given any further explanation as to its meaning and speculation and interpretation on what a Director has said is strictly forbidden (Note: this will be added onto the Reminders section of the issue).

The project has outlined the operations which will take place during the reestablishment of order:

-Occupation of the island off the Gharial Peninsula, the establishment of direct control from Vesmor there and its position as a base of the ensuing Operations.

-Pacification of any warlord or pseudo-states present or that may form later on the mainland of the peninsula, though onlu the use of conventional and limited force is to be generally applied in these instances.

-Organization of a stable regime to take the place of the collapsed one, the progressive, secularist and anti-cannibalism activist Vikr Tor, unrelated to former Council Leader of Science and War, Zips Tor, has been selected to act as Temporary Despot for National Salvation of the State of Gharial Meatton and will govern along with the National Salvation Commission of the State of Gharial Meatton, which will consist of 3 Nesearanian Members and 2 Meattonian ones.

The NSC-SGM will also start a series of deportations of population from areas in areas occupied by the Nesearanian Armed Forces deemed unstable and insecure for living into areas deemed safe for habitation.

Usula Canal Project

While the Joint Committe on Project Gharial was holding a meeting in Usula, so was the Joint Committee on the Usula Canal Project, which had been holding session for a month now.

The Usula Canal Project is an attempt for merchandise and naval units to gain easier access to both sides of Nesearan without having to pass through Maryland of Jellyfish or to travers through the long route around the Volvicont Peninsula.

Instead a canal system will be created that will stretch from its opening in Usula in the North to the Settlement Site of Edington in the south and opening of the Gulf of Edington, through the flat Midlands of the state.

It's construction is expected to commence within three (3) years and a depopulation and readjustment of some of the Settlement Sites' placements within its way is expected to be put into effect within two (2) years.

As the canal's placement mostly aligns with the passing Eding River, the project has been deemed realistic and feasible by the State Board of Director.


-Leaving your Periodical Issue in the mailbox inconveniences the Settlement Newspaper Distributor and as such will be punished with the subtraction of five (5) Social Credit Points from your Social Credit Score.
-Once it serves no use to you anymore, this and every Issue of the Periodical may be brought to the Installation of the Settlement Section of Matter Recovery (ISS-MR) and be exchanged for one (1) Social Credit Point.
-After a demand made by the Matter Recovery Workers, Social Credit Points will no longer be issued if the paper is put in the incorrect Recovery Bin.
-Unwarranted interpretation and speculation on the words of a State Director or any State Official is strictly forbidden.

Land Lease Treaties.
The Following are land lease Treaties, All land leases which the High Order Grants come with the absolute clause; that the Land which is being Leased is the de-facto legal territory of [nation]The Folk's Order[/nation], and that these leases are valid only while the Friendly relations are maintained, in the event that relations deteriorate the High Order reserves the right to retract the lease and seize any and all assets after a 6 month period of withdrawal, unless of course it is a state of war, which in that case the High order may seize assests immediately. That being said the following are Land Leases which are active immediately, the charts which bare these borders will be sent the Regional Cartographer.

The Whole of the Islands of Meatton are the sole and sovereign Territory of The Folks Order, with that being said the following leases will be granted,
~ The South Coast will be Leased to the Good Folk of The Republic of Holy Friedman Empire, for a maximum of 50 years (this may be renewed).

~ The Northern Plot of Middle Island of the Eastern Island Chain (In relation to the Island of Meatton): Will have plot granted to the Good Folk Golgothia as well as the northern tip of the most Western Island. This will Last indefinably assuming good relations.

~ The Northern Peninsula will be leased to the Good Folk of Nesearan, for a maximum of 50 years. (this may be renewed)

Reaver's Rest
The North East of Reaver's Rest will be leased to the Good Folk of Nesearan, for a maximum of 25 years. (this may be renewed)

In addition, The Folks Order maintains the legal right enter within the leased lands at its leisure, and to cancel the lease if relations deteriorate dramatically.

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