by Max Barry

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Austritaria World Census

The Fattest Citizens in Austritaria

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, Austritaria is ranked 3,560th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The United Empire of MenatoloCapitalist Paradise“Money is Power”
2.The Soviet Federation of Groznyj LeichCorporate Police State“Вместе мы стоим,чтобы никогда не падать! Для федерации!”
3.The Fascist Confederacy of Of East AsiaIron Fist Consumerists“Happiness comes through hard work or die trying”
4.The Free Republic of NobiqueCorporate Bordello“Deus est qui omnem mundum regit et nobiscum deus ”
5.The Empire of The WeltenbaumeCorporate Bordello“That's what they get for not listening.”
6.The Kingdom of HebrideNew York Times Democracy“God save the Queen”
7.The United Socialist States of Vis AerIron Fist Consumerists“Genossen, zu den Waffen!”
8.The Maritime Empire of BlackhalmMother Knows Best State“We look to the sea for opportunity and it delivers.”
9.The Grand Meritocratic Republic of KorouseLeft-Leaning College State“Go eat your guac, jeb.”
10.The Federation of Druid IslandsInoffensive Centrist Democracy“An eye for an eye makes the world blind”