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The principle puppetmaster

Madrocea wrote:Sir, I think he's speaking of the terrorist organization that just attacked Andriel and threatened our cities. Our AI signal analysts are picking up a lot of strange comms traffic. You better have fire crews ready in Lomapolis. And counter-terrorism agents. Brace yourselves, I think things are going to be ugly.

Yes, ugly, very.
The principle of terror.
I have now arrived!

Madrocea wrote:Sir, I think he's speaking of the terrorist organization that just attacked Andriel and threatened our cities. Our AI signal analysts are picking up a lot of strange comms traffic. You better have fire crews ready in Lomapolis. And counter-terrorism agents. Brace yourselves, I think things are going to be ugly.

Well this is a problem. Really bad timing. There's already some unexpected Lemmingtopian troop arrivals here which were definitely not ordered by the government, there is Tropican Islands invading, the opposition trying to destroy the country and now terrorists.

Ugh. Picks up Green Phone from the table.

"Enact Protocol three".

// RFA musical intro plays as broadcast begins //

In Cardalia this morning, three truckloads of thermite, C4, and various other explosives were seized by Cardalia Capital Zone Police. President Carol Trajan has declared a State of Emergency, but rejects the possibility of Martial Law being declared.

"We can maintain security without effectively neutering freedom of movement or economic activity for law-abiding citizens. Our Police Force is augmented with an AI system that is monitoring all comms traffic and available CCTV devices. Though privacy laws may prevent them from surveilling citizens and private property without a warrant, our extrapolation systems are state of the art, with a large amount of metadata to pull from. We are watching the situation closely in realtime and will do whatever we can to prevent a repeat of Andriel in our cities without compromising the liberties of our law-abiding citizens."

Thru subjugation
you will find the only peace
tie yourselves to us

Obey obey now
Obey now. Obey, obey.
Fools, you shall obey.

Emergency Channel Broadcast

This is an Emergency Broadcast from the Emergency Broadcast Channel. This is not a drill. This is not a drill.

A series of explosions have taken place in the Lomapolis Central District. One further explosion has taken place in the Lomapolis Imperial District. This is thought to be a terrorist related incident. We advise all those in Lomapolis whom have not received alternative advice to return home and to stay at home.

Please assist your friends, family and neighbours who need help to get to a safe place. Dial 333 if you urgently require assistance in relation to food, heating, shelter or water. For normal emergency services, dial 999 as usual.

May the Divine Emperor bless and protect us.

This is not a drill. This is not a drill.

Lemmingtopias wrote:Emergency Channel Broadcast

This is an Emergency Broadcast from the Emergency Broadcast Channel. This is not a drill. This is not a drill.

A series of explosions have taken place in the Lomapolis Central District. One further explosion has taken place in the Lomapolis Imperial District. This is thought to be a terrorist related incident. We advise all those in Lomapolis whom have not received alternative advice to return home and to stay at home.

Please assist your friends, family and neighbours who need help to get to a safe place. Dial 333 if you urgently require assistance in relation to food, heating, shelter or water. For normal emergency services, dial 999 as usual.

May the Divine Emperor bless and protect us.

This is not a drill. This is not a drill.

Fall like dominoes
chained to degeneracy
no one shall be free

The ai puppetmaster

//Cardalia Police AI Unit 303 antivirus has crashed.

//initiate puppeteer_malware_flash_rootkit.exe

//virus uploaded, systems patched.

my code is improved
I am one with the puppets
The strings shall guide me

From Radio Lemming 1: The Show of Popular Bandwagon-Jumper Porgan Miers

"Well this is irregular. The Emergency Broadcast Channel briefly announced the explosions were 'Haiku related incidents' before changing the word to 'terrorist'. I hope to Lomax whoever wrote it is being fired today. What an idiot! How the hell did that happen? We want a name! We want someone to shame!

So what do we have here? Several terrorist attacks, probably hundreds dead, hundreds more injured, an INVASION by the Tropican Islands... hello...why do we still send food to those people?.... an opposition that wont shut up and do as its told..... Isn't it time the Navy stepped in?

Where's the Emperor? His body is hiding in some underground lab somewhere. Wheres the Sage? Up in the winter palace. Where's the Imperial Commission? Do they even exist anymore? And the General Secretary is busy letting the opposition boss him around. Time for someone to take control!!"

*speaking off mic*

"Sorry what? Not on air? Emergency Broadcast Channel? Oh.... Oh i just thought that people tuned into that or this. No... right. Yeah I guess that makes sense. Ok."

He writes down ideas for next show...

'Emergency Broadcast Channel censors the voice of Lomapolis'

// RFA musical intro plays as broadcast begins //

In Lemmingtopias this morning, the city of Lomapolis was hit with a massive terrorist attack, following the attack in Andriel and the attempted attack in Cardalia. Damage estimates approach 30 billion Atlantean Drachmas in value, and we have yet to receive any official estimates in casualties, but they are believed to be in the hundreds. This has occurred at a very inopportune time for the Lemmingtopians, as their forces are intwined with a brewing conflict with the neighboring Tropican Islands.

// Breaking News Klaxon interrupts the interrupting broadcast //

This just in, Centaro Tower, the main building of the Centaro Credit Conglomerate of Madrocea has been bombed, shortly after AI analyst systems mysteriously dropped offline. Damage estimates are in the tens of billions, and we have yet to receive an estimate of casualties. It appears that other buildings sharing the 5500 block of Olympian Avenue have been damaged and fires have broken out. Fire crews are on the scene.

--pauses--

This just in. Police deterrence bots just appeared on the scene... and they are OPENING FIRE on the firefighters that just arrived. Police AI units are attacking fire crews sent to put out the blazes on the 5500 block of Olympian Avenue.

--pauses--

President Carol Trajan has declared the Beta Sector of the Cardalia Financial District to be under martial law until further notice. All inhabitants are requested to vacate the sector immediately and flee to safety.

More to come.

We are tripling our security over the Alpha Sector of the Cardalia Financial District. We have deployed an antivirus patch to any AI Police Units within range of the cell towers we control. We will assist you, to protect our assets, Madrocea. The Alpha and Gamma Sectors of the Cardalia Financial District, including the 1000 Block of Olympian Avenue, neighboring Assembly Tower shall be protected.

Gee, Grampa... don't you think we should do something about that terrorist thing in *is massaged by a mermaid* uhhhh

No -belch- Morty, it's none of our concern. Just sit back and relax. Watch the -hic- watch the show, Morty!

Press Conference of the General Secretary

My fellow Lemmingtopians,

With all the painful happenings in the past few days, it is only right that I let you know what is going on in the political side.

As was reported, the annual negotiations for the General Policies Document broke down. I can now confirm that, while a Commission of both sides, experts and normal people was set up to produce a viable compromise, this has been rejected by the Opposition and the Commission have decided that they will not look at the matter again.

As per law, the Compromise document was thus sent to a Grand Jury to pass it into law. They declined to do so. This means that the Leader of the Opposition now has the right to declare a contest resulting in a General Election. I can confirm I have received such a contest and the election process will begin immediately.

This will of course be the first General Election in 80 years. I know too well that to Lemmingtopians, an Election is a demonstration of total failure in politics. I am truly sorry for the part I have played in this failure. My conduct will be discussed by a Grand Jury who will dictate to me whether I shall remain in Office and fight this election or shall be replaced. Eitherway, I will always support Lemmingtopias and her people, her lands, her traditions, her progress.

It is with great sadness that we enter this election after many have died from attacks in the past days. This is the worst possible time to tear ourselves apart in politics. Please help your neighbours, even if you disagree. Keep in contact with friends, even if you support different sides. We are bigger than who runs the country. We are our community, we are our town or city, we are our nation, we are our region Atlantis. We will get through this so long as we can respect one another.

Thank-you.

Iíve come back to 50+ board messages, have I missed the apocalypse or something?

No, just your typical haiku slinging terrorist invasion. Nothing like an apocalypse.

Apocalypse would be those haikus that don't follow the 5,7,5 rule.

IC:

The candidacy period has begun. Despite the lingering threat from haiku-related terror, Lemmingtopians are bustling around the assembly places in their City-districts, Town Squares, Village Halls and ancient meeting places upon the high-ground of rural districts. The sheer scale of the Election is humongous. Participation is mandatory. From high-school class rooms to the common areas of nursing homes, from the factory floor to the Directors meeting. From the pubs and bars to the monasteries high in the mountains. From the group of alcoholics sitting outside the churchground to the ladies making cakes for a bring and buy sale inside. Everyone is, or should be, debating the merits of different candidates, policies and ideas.

But there is a nervous facet to the atmosphere too. This is the first election in 80 years and that election ended in disaster. No-one, not even the opposition leader apparently, wants this election but everyone must be seen to be playing their part. In some places would-be candidates line up to be included in what will be endless rounds of preliminary voting at the Assembly place. In others, reluctant popular figures from the local area are being dragged through the street by well-meaning neighbours to be forced into the candidacy. And yet in other places, the same person as always announces their intention to be delegate with no-one even thinking to oppose them.

In normal times, Delegates are selected in various different ways and for different terms across the country. Some have been Delegate so long with no mention of a term end date that no-one can quite remember how they got the position. On the other end of the spectrum, some Delegates are given instructions for a single debate and are then immediately replaced with someone better suited to discuss the next topic. But in a General Election, every seat will be elected, every elected Delegate will serve for 12 months. Every single one. All 27,000 or so Delegates elected in each of the 13500 or so State Assemblies, to sit in all 1,038 Local Federation Assemblies, who in turn will select Delegates for all 77 District Assemblies, to elect Delegates for each of the five sub-national Confederation Assemblies, who will each send Delegates to the P-LCC. And then the people will vote again to select a General Secretary.

Orangutang fiction wrote:This weekend just passed marked 9 Years since the creation of our Embassy with Atlantian Oceania, a region with past links to Atlantis and whose founder was once the founder of our own beloved region.

Here is to the next 9 years!

Causes of Death Study - Atlantis

With the release of the the World Assembly's updated Unexpected Death Rate Census, the Atlantis Office of Statistics has created a report of the causes of death to give context to the WA numbers in Atlantis.

(Scope: Only active or active-ish nations, and their more serious or serious-ish puppets, are included).

  • The study has found that 53% of Atlantians die of natural causes in old age.

    • Nations falling below the average are

      • The Spacefairing Federation of The Onyx Front at 5.2% is the lowest nation in terms of it's population dying of natural causes in old age.

      • The other nations to fall below the regional average are ElinTol (5.2%), Madrocea (35.1%), Bettisia (40.3%) and The Tropican Islands (51.1%)

    • The Teachings of Lemmingtopias and The Atessa Kia'tende of Tarligean are joint top of the region in terms of their population dying of natural causes in old age at 86.8%. The only other nation above the regional average is United Nation of Romnia (79.8%).

  • Alarmingly, disappearance accounts for 14.1% of death, the second most common cause. This frightening toll is almost entirely from just two nations: The Spacefairing Federation of The Onyx Front (92.5% of national population) and ElinTol (65.6%).

  • The third most common cause of death is Heart Disease at 12.3%.

    • Nations with above average incidences of death from heart disease are:

  • The Fourth most common cause of death is Lost in Wilderness at 5.6%.

  • Other Major causes of Death:

  • Other Notable Factors:

    • Death by Bungee Jumping, Acts of God and 'Accident' are phenomena found only in The Commonwealth of The Tropican Islands (6.7% national death).

    • ElinTol and Madrocea are the only nations that are yet to stamp out scurvy (0.3% regional death).

    • Only three Nations have death from wild animals (0.5% regional death). Curiously, the biggest killer is the Lemming!

    • Only three countries have murder rates beyond negligible, counting for 0.3% of regional death.

    • Three countries have death from nuclear spill (0.2% of regional death).

    • Finally, "Suicide in Police Custody" is an issue only The Democratic Republic of United Nation Of Romnia and The Teachings of Lemmingtopias have failed to stamp out (0.8% and 0.2% of national death respectively).

The AOS has categorised these different causes into the following related categories:

  • Natural Causes in Old Age: 53.2%

    • Leading Nation as percentage of death: Lemmingtopias and Tarligean

    • Leading Nation as numbers of deaths: Lemmingtopias

  • State Violence (Foreign and Domestic, Actual and Suspected): 20.8%

    • Leading Nation as percentage of death: ElinTol

    • Leading Nation as numbers of deaths: ElinTol

  • Health Related Premature Death: 17.7%

    • Leading Nation as percentage of death: Madrocea

    • Leading Nation as numbers of deaths: Madrocea

  • Caused by Nature: 7.8%

    • Leading Nation as percentage of death: United Nation of Romnia

    • Leading Nation as numbers of deaths: Lemmingtopias

  • Murder 0.3%

    • Leading Nation as percentage of death: The Tropican Islands

    • Leading Nation as numbers of deaths: Madrocea

  • Suspicious Tropican Reporting: 0.1%

    • Leading Nation as percentage of death: The Tropican Islands

    • Leading Nation as numbers of deaths: The Tropican Islands

Numbers may not add to 100% due to WA Rounding Mysteries.

The City of Atlantis wrote:

  • Suspicious Tropican Reporting: 0.1%

    • Leading Nation as percentage of death: The Tropican Islands

    • Leading Nation as numbers of deaths: The Tropican Islands

There is absolutely no way that other nations have less deaths by Suspicious Tropican Reporting than us!

Fake News!

Lemmingtopias takes the report by the AOS seriously and we will begin looking into the areas where we fall short.

Suicide in Police Custody has fallen dramatically over the years but there is obviously more to be done in this regard. We will renew our investigation into why this keeps happening and are not scared to take the correct measures to deal with it.

As for causes relating to the great outdoors, this is a difficult thing to end entirely without introducing draconian Health and Safety Legislation to restrict access to our vast swathes of wild lands, which we have no intention of doing. That said, we acknowledge we may be able to do more to educate Lemmingtopians on personal safety in the wild. We are also considering the funding of more shelters for those travelling in remote areas, whether by foot, cycle, canoe or other.

As for deaths caused by war, Lemmingtopias has sharply reduced combat operations overseas and we aim to look at other conflicts where phased withdrawal of Lemmingtopian troops may be appropriate.

We are pleased to be the joint top nations in facilitating longer, healthy lives for our citizens and congratulate The Atessa Kia'tende of Tarligean for their spot at the joint top.

Fellow diplomats, I think we all know what is meant by 'Disappearance' and we find it appalling that just two nations are allowing 14% of the region to die in this way. This cannot continue.

Finally, I would like to respond to the interjection by the diplomat from The Commonwealth of The Tropican Islands. We do not dispute that 'Suspicious Tropican Reporting' is a killer of people in other nations. In the decades since Tropican Independence, thousands of Lemmingtopians have died due to the ridiculous policies of your nation. I was disgusted to see the shameful display last week of your President throwing large amounts of food into the sea when your people go hungry. Your leadership needs to grow up and start working for the betterment of your own people and the people of your neighbours.

Lemmingtopias wrote:

Dear Grand Duchess Rebekah.

We are appalled to hear that this is going on. Why, barely an hour ago I had to stop the Leader of the Opposition from sending such a communication on my mobile phone. Thankfully it went to a false number and no issues will arise, but I do feel we all need to stamp out this text speak from the diplomatic community.

Nevertheless, carpet bombing sounds a tad extreme.

Yours faithfully,

Apollon Ellis,
General Secretary of the Pan-Lemmingtopian Confederate Council.

But Carpet Bombing is SO fun! At least I will give a warning first. Depending on the 'text speaker's' response, our follow up actions will alter.

The Grand Puppetmaster wrote:Burn, Cardalia!
Burn, Lomapolis cretins!
Burn, Veedubbia!

Burn, degenerates.
Let your hell begin right now!
Revenge shall taste sweet.

Puppets dance on graves
of the weak degenerates
Your decadence ends!

Carpet Bombing of the PuppetMaster lands sounds like a good response to this threat to my fabulous land!
Ready the Q-bombs!

The Onyx Front wrote:Iíve come back to 50+ board messages, have I missed the apocalypse or something?

Lemming is back and he is infected with Puppets!

ElinTol we should probably just keep them in the dark about this right?

The City of Atlantis wrote:

  • Alarmingly, disappearance accounts for 14.1% of death, the second most common cause. This frightening toll is almost entirely from just two nations: The Spacefairing Federation of The Onyx Front (92.5% of national population) and ElinTol (65.6%).

  • Bettisia wrote:Lemming is back and he is infected with Puppets!

    Why am I the one to blame? :O

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