by Max Barry

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Murray the evil skull

"Who dares take the name of the EVILEST talking skull in nationstates in vain! Thats it! I'm putting an EVIL curse on you! You are going to have such a rash!"

"AHEM! Welcome new nations to the EVILEST region in Nationstates. I am Murray! the harbinger of your doom! THe hordes of hell will cheer as I stride through the gates with your heads on a pike!"

<A snide comment comes from someone sounding suspiciously like the region's founder.>
"Stride?"
"Alright Roll then. Roll through the gates.....must you ruin everything, mortal?....<sigh>
Anyway welcome new nations.Please pay no head to the glowing clouds, looud explosions or pealsof maniacle laughter coming from the nations outside your borders. THose are signs of what we like to call progress around these parts. also please acept the all day passes to Murrayland. THe region's EVILEST amusement park. Feel your very soul be gently ripped away in an atmosphere of family friendly fun. And while you are there don't forget to stop at the gift shop for soveniers in all things Murray. This week there is a special deal on the Cowboy Murray and his Buckaroo Bunny band:Live from the WA Strangers' Bar music CD and DVD. both are half off for this week only. Get them while supplies last"

So, I guess having heard no objections, everyone likes the region's new makeover? Great then, we can get back to business. And I've been thinking, maybe shooting gnomes is a bit disproportionate? Perhaps if, instead of gutting them with semiautomatic weapons, and relentlessly hunting them down and stealing their scalps, we sit them down and try to reason with them, convince them that we're their friends, maybe shower them with exorbitant gifts and stuff; then maybe they won't want to destroy us by forcing us to comply with their screwy laws? That'll work, right? Oh, and Murray...[digs into costume chest]...now that we're "reformed" we can't be alarming newbs anymore with a terrifying evil talking skull threatening them with their doom. After all, when people arrive in the magical land of Oz, they naturally expect a little...magic. So from now on you'll have to wear this lovely blonde wig when you greet the newbs [places synthetic curly locks atop the skull's pate], and this enchanting tiara! Also, since you have no arms you'll have to clench this magic wand in your teeth. It won't be so bad. You can still demand their souls in return for free passage; it's only the appearance of the region we're trying to change.

OK then, that's all for today. Tomorrow, we discuss unannounced weapons tests and maniacal cackling laughter. Maybe we're just as well holding unannounced love-ins and maniacal cackling protest chants? See you then!

Mallorea and riva

Hrmmm. I suppose in keeping with the reformation I can avoid burning any regions this week.

Now look, just because you fell out of the world Top 10% for Most Extreme is no reason to act ... extreme. I've got this nice red hair curled wig that would look far better on Murray. Oh wait, I've got a wig with short curls and a tonsure, he's look fantastic as a monk. Too much hair would be too shocking you know.

Bloodstone kay

And we've changed our looting and pillaging ways to tea parties and flowering arranging.

Murray the evil skull

Murray casts a malevolent gaze at both Kenny, and RWP and tries to gather up what little dignity he has left and says through clenched teeth,

"Both of you mortals are going to have such a rash!"

I have switched to organic vodka.

Post self-deleted by The Palentine.

In The 'Burgh, the anatomically correct statue of Queen Kimoniwannalaya the Unchaste has been covered with a Burkha.

Oh great. Look Murray! Someone to test your new outfit on! Welcome to the region, Jinkx monsoon! May your stay with us be long and prosperous. Our gatekeeper is currently occupied trying on his new uniform, so why don't you get started rounding up the penguins for military service while you wait? Take care they don't explode on you.

Oh, sorry. Did I say "military service"? What I meant was, "round them up for #occupy protest training." We don't do bad things like weaponize wildlife anymore.

Bloodstone kay

And they'll only explode with joy, they're just so happy to see you.

Comrade milograd

Statues, Palentine? I swear there is a hideous garden for those somewhere.

Peace and love, Comrades! Peace and love!

I am organizing a poetry reading tomorrow. The theme will be "baby animals and trees".

Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side!

The great leap forward

Comrades! Follow strictly the Marxist-Leninist-Luxembourgist-Stalinist-Trotskyist-Maoist-Kennyist line and strive frequently and studiously to purge the rightist elements from your thinking! Strenuously avoid yellow literature and degenerate art! Violently oppose old thinking and dangerous fluffyism, and follow strictly the guidelines set down by the People's Plenary Council Congress Party for Total State Communal Security in the 133rd Plenary Meeting of the Marxist-Leninist-Luxembourgist-Stalinist-Trotskyist-Maoist-Kennyist Communist Party!

Boundless faith in Chairman Mao, total trust in Deputy Party Chief Kenny!

[nations]Retired WerePenguins[/nations] is ranked 3rd in Antarctic Oasis and 4,997th in the world for Healthiest Citizens, with 12 Standard Bananas Ingested per capita per day.

In another online game I frequent, one of the former forum moderators had Curious George as his icon and typically added "*Munches on a Banana" to his posts.

So, um, how long is this new fluffy theme going to remain in effect? We have several shipments of whale and...er...dolphin....that we need to unload......but the docks are crowded with hippies....

Disguise yourselves as Greenpeace vessels and tell everyone the cargo is 100% vegan meat substitute.

Also, "deputy party chief"?! What did I do to deserve such a demotion? It's "senior deputy party chief" or nothing! >:(

The great leap forward

Comrades! Rumormongering and persisting in wrong thinking are the enemies of the revolution. The People's Committee for Total and Effective State Security discovered and purged certain snakes in the grass who, continuing to callously refer to comrade Senior Party Chief Kenny as so-called "Deputy" party chief, endangered the great socialist paradise built by the sacrifice of the people and the leadership of comrade Kenny.

Strike decisively against counterrevolutionary activity! Boundless faith in Chairman Mao, total trust in Senior Party Chief Kenny!

I just want to say that ever since this whole incident I feel empowered. As your delegate I now have 9 endorsements and can throw down a whopping 10 votes to the table.

Boo!

^
Not boo as in "I don't like it", boo as in jumps out of the shadows and yells "BOO!"

Post self-deleted by The great leap forward.

The great leap forward

Voting is the tail of capitalism!

The great leap forward

Comrades! Strenuously oppose the so-called World Assembly proposal "Establishing the Principles of War!" Correctly apply Marxist-Kennyist-Maoist-Diřgęist-Leninist party principles and refuse the attempt of the bourgeois imperialists to restrict the prosecution of the People's War and limit the rooting out of class enemies! To restrict the advancement of the guerrilla principles of Chairman Mao is to follow the capitalist road, follow diligently the example of Lei Feng and work to oppose this incorrect thinking.

Boundless faith in Chairman Mao, exemplary obedience to People's Consultative Conference Secretary Diřgę, total trust in Comrade Politburo Standing Committee Chief Kenny!

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