The Democratic Republic of Pirgiland is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Pauli Kallenson Nyskoinen with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, devout population of 3.232 billion Pirgilandians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kustipori - Custborg. The average income tax rate is 66.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Pirgilandian economy, worth 347 trillion Pirgilandian Pengars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 107,363 Pirgilandian Pengars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Copies of the constitution are used as toilet paper, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high, and a crusade against barbaric religious practices has begun. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pirgiland's national animal is the mountain reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Joachist Christianity.

Pirgiland is ranked 26,377^th in the world and 12^th in New Coalition of Nations for Most Developed, scoring 84.77 on the Human Development Index.