The Galatian-Turkic Realm of Phaistenion is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Androméda with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, disturbing lack of elderly people, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.317 billion Phaistenes are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nymphopolis. The average income tax rate is 44.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Phaistenic economy, worth 446 trillion Drakhmas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Retail, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 83,788 Drakhmas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

A recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father, business is adjusting to new gender equality policies in the workplace, a stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal, and visiting dignitaries often end up cuddling in the hot tub with Androméda. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phaistenion's national animal is the Grey Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Syncretic Hellenism.

Phaistenion is ranked 196,664^th in the world and 26^th in the Hellenic Realm for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 40 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.