Post
Region: the Pacific
“It’s sad, really. I can see it now. It’s… hard seeing him like this.”
“What do you mean specifically? He’s been out of it for forty years, this isn’t exactly a recent thing, is it?”
“It’s never been this bad… quit it with the levity. He can barely hold a conversation at this point. He shakes! Have you seen him? Those tremors could topple a house! This paranoia is out of control…”
“Is it really that bad now?”
“I don’t know, you tell me! He’s under his desk for half the day mumbling about some gunman, and the other half the day he’s trying to talk to mom.”
“She’s…”
“I know, I know. But does he?”
“Is there anything we can do about it? I mean, I’ve tried talking to him but he doesn’t want to hear anything. ”
“I’ve tried getting him into the doctor, but he doesn’t seem to be having it. Not a big fan of the doctor.”
“So it seems. Never been a big fan of the doctor, has he?”
“Every time he’s gone to the doctor we’ve had to drag him there against his will. He doesn’t like the doctor.”
“But there’s nothing wrong with him whenever he goes.”
“Could he be bribing the doctor?”
“Who isn’t at this point?”
“That’s besides the point… it’s just so odd to me. Is this just how he is?”
“You’ve known him for forty years, you tell me.”
“You’re his child too, Aims.”
[Amelia slowly marches toward the window, briefly looks outside and turns around]
“It’s just… how is there not something wrong with him? It makes no sense to me! Are the doctors even seeing him?”
“Not nothing… isn’t he going deaf?”
“His hearing is the only thing that’s unchanged. He’s had terrible hearing for as long as I’ve known. A holiday didn’t go by without dad being generally confused about what we were opening.”
“Maybe this isn’t new. Maybe we’re just noticing something now that’s been apparent for decades.”
“So now you agree with me?”
“What were we talking about anyway?”
“Changing the subject like always… Holidays, I believe. Getting ever closer.”
“Ah, when are those?”
“Like father like son… are sure we don’t need to get you into the doctor?”
“Sarcasm, Aims.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t read well with your deadpan expression and demeanor.”
“Whatever… What are you thinking?”
“Just go to some castle in the frosty Dushinan wasteland like every other year?”
“Well of course we’re going into the wasteland, we’re not animals. I really want to do something special for dad, though. He needs a win this year. Something really nice.”
“What exactly do you propose?”
“What do you get for the man who has it all? Should we get him a tacky watch? Something with his name on it in an outlandish font? He’d love that.”
“We’re not getting him a watch when he can’t read nor draw the dials.”
“He’s never been the artistic type, anyway. Except for rockets. I can’t explain it…. Have you seen the drawings?”
“No, I haven’t, and who’s this Allen lady?”
“Funny.”
“I try to be humorous -- you threw me an easy one there."
“It’s amazing what he can and can’t do. Maybe we could get him into a hobby?”
“We could perhaps have an ornate chess board made.”
“It’d just end up as decor, I’m sure. He’s already got one board, he doesn’t need another.”
“Maybe buy him some coins to add to his collection? I’ve got a few connections in the market… well, I can find some stuff.”
“Oh don’t tell me --”
“We might have to. Better someone else stealing it than us, right? I mean, I could ask some of my foreign contacts and they might be able to get me some stuff, but I’m not entirely sure.”
“Any luck with --”
“No. Not since the incident where Fluff well… yeah. I don’t know why he thought he’d get away with that, on a foreign visit no less.”
“Is there something wrong with his brain?”
“Probably… but that’s a discussion for another day, or one for about five minutes ago.”
“What if we give him a break?”
“What do you mean, exactly?”
“A very long vacation. Time to relax. Time away from the public. That might help, right?”
“You know he will go crazy with nothing to do. He says he hates his Tsardom, but that's all that drives him.”
“This’ll be a long project, but what if we were to just get him an apartment in a remote part of another nation. We give him plenty to survive for a couple months, and he gets some time alone?”
“That’s a fire ide-”
“Never say that again so long as you live.”
“Relax… Alright, I like the idea. How much do you think he’ll need? Where are we going to get these identifying documents?”
“I know a guy. Working in the shadows gives you a good cover, Aims. I can get a birth certificate, license, and whatever else he might need to prove he’s a citizen -- just a quiet one.”
“Well, how can I help with this?”
“Scout locations, perhaps? We’ve still got a few months yet, but we’re gonna need a reason why he left. Or…”
“Or what?”
“We could, and I know this is wrong, but we could get someone to stand in for Fluff.”
“Why don’t we just pre-record his addresses and get a response from him whenever we need him?”
“That’d ruin the gift.”
“If I were able to check into work twice a month and get to live in some far off land for free, I’d take it in a heartbeat.”
“Alright, so we’ve settled on this idea. Look, call me if you have any more suggestions in regards to this idea and I’d be happy to heed them.”
“We make a good team, you know that? I don’t know why we don’t work together more often.”
“Our lives seem to always get in the way. It’s nice -- it’s really nice to work with a friend for once.”