by Max Barry

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Region: the South Pacific

The Syracuse Times

Size Matters

The Issue
Historically, the broad international consensus has always been to use the Maxcator Projection to depict the world on flat maps. The downside is that this projection makes New Haudenosaunee Confederacy look disproportionately small, as well as tucking it away on the edge of the map. After a recent TV drama made this a hot topic, disgruntled patriots are pressing you for a government stance on this.

The Debate
“An international standard is good for international trade and communication,” explains Mohammed Rhee, director of a bulk exporter specialising in beige sofas and magnolia paint. “We should therefore be encouraging standardisation. I urge you to endorse the Maxcator Projection as the official choice, bringing us in line with the reasonable majority of nations. This will show the world that we’re a nice, inoffensive, conformist nation - the sort of nation that they can do business with.”


“New Haudenosaunee Confederacy is at the centre of the world culturally and economically,” observes New Haudenosaunee Geographic Society president Sue-Ann Yeats, tearing up a little as she salutes the flag. “Thus we should be at the centre of the map. Ban the Maxcator Projection in our schools and businesses, and have them use THIS map instead. I call it the Kyle McLastname View. A proud map, for a proud nation!”


“It’s totally true that changing maps changes perceptions, but you can’t get caught up in toxic patriotism,” argues walking cliché hippy environmentalist Beth Eliot, as she braids beads into her hair and leans a guitar covered with painted flower patterns against your desk. “If you want people to see the world without political distortions or man-made borders, then you need globes. Send globes to every classroom in every school, and teach children that they are citizens of the planet. Dude, this isn’t a game of nation states; it’s a world commune of pan-humanity.


“The world? The world that matters ends at our national borders!” proclaims a cigar-smoking man in the shadows. “You should be encouraging people to stay at home and to work for our nation, not to worry about foreign lands. You must only allow the publication of maps up to our national borders. In fact, stop our citizens leaving the country at all: if they never see the outside world, they won’t worry why others have things that they don’t.”


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