by Max Barry

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Region: Texas

The Texas Attorney General, not wanting to lose the Governor of Texas for more than a day, offered up the following statements to share with the Judge:

1. “I CAN ONLY COMMUNICATE TELEPATHICALLY.”
2. “MY PEOPLE DO NOT RECOGNIZE YOUR EARTH LAWS.”
3. “JUSTIN BIEBER TICKETS ARE GOING ON SALE THAT DAY - AND I NEED TO GET IN LINE FOR THEM!”
4. “I HAVE TO BRING MY SEEING-EYE WOMBAT.”
5. “I SUPPORT THE DEATH PENALTY.”

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