This post comes courtesy of Issues Editor Verdant Haven.
Begin intercepted transmission:
3d1t0r: "Yes... excellent... our eighth Annual Game to Encourage New Draft Activity has been a success!"
4dm1n: "That's gr-eight! Did you r-eight them all? The d-eight is getting l-eight, how much longer do you need to deb-eight before announcing the winners?"
3d1t0r: "We can announce them now, but why are you talking so strangely?"
4dm1n: "W-eight, what? You started it! It's eight-puns for the eighth contest!"
3d1t04: "Pfft, eight-puns are so outdated - the next contest will be nine, not eight."
The Issues Editing Team was hoping to see some major submission activity, and you responded big time with nearly 200 entries! After carefully spinning our hamster-wheels, and spending a good long time peering into the mirror-lined box that is our collective psyche, we're ready to announce this year's winners!
Presented in alphabetical order by author, the winners are:
Spare the (Plutonium) Rod by Cretox State
The Taste of Revenge by Edush
Haters Are Such A Drag by Falafelandia
The Magical Adventures of LEADER by Kaschovia
Emergency Department Problems Ramping Up by Klaus Devestatorie
Loose Lips, Characters Shipped? by Novo Terres
Fauxthentic Food by Osheiga
(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Sample!) by Southland
Profitable for Doctrine by Tinhampton
Circling the Brain Drain by West Barack and East Obama
Please join us in congratulating our winners! You can expect to see these issues start appearing in game soon.