by Max Barry

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The World World Census

The Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry in the World

The World Census measured the rate of desertification in order to calculate which nations have the largest timber industry.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Incorporated States of UniserveIron Fist Consumerists“Our upstream provider did it!”
2.The Sadistic Republic of Bright AngelIron Fist Consumerists“Get Outa Here!!”
3.The Corporate Dictatorship of JosephlandCorporate Police State“Oderint Dum Metuant”
4.The Popsicle Pete Nation of ClenchIron Fist Consumerists“NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE!”
5.The Unassuming Puppet State of AmericadCorporate Police State“An equal opportunity hate group.”
6.The Little Brotherhood of The Real MatrixIron Fist Consumerists“Guns. Lots of guns.”
7.The Oppressive Oppressors of Israeli AirstrikesCorporate Police State“Remember: We can always make it worse.”
8.The Brennanndi Ríki of MuspellheimCorporate Police State“Scandinavia the everlasting”
9.The Holy Empire of HaedliaIron Fist Consumerists“For the blessed nation!”
10.The Dominion of TeufelvolkIron Fist Consumerists“Fight to the death!”
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