by Max Barry

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The Smartest Citizens in the South Pacific

The World Census eavesdropped on conversations in coffee shops, on campuses, and around cinemas in order to determine which nations have the most quick-witted, insightful, and knowledgeable citizens.

As a region, the South Pacific is ranked 6,429th in the world for Smartest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Armed Republic of Crazed monkiesDemocratic Socialists“Vote monkey, get monkey”
2.The Federal Republic of West green IsraelLiberal Democratic Socialists“For greener future”
3.The Kingdom of Outer Utonixick GollinicanDemocratic Socialists“Whatever, I do what I want”
4.The Republic of Kiasu-ismInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Kiasi, Kiabor, and most importantly... Kiasu!”
5.The United Socialist States of EmailistanScandinavian Liberal Paradise“Collectivization of Labour is Most Beneficial to All”
6.The Free Land of PrivatoreInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Desperate, but not helpless.”
7.The Eternal Misfortune of Pencil Sharpeners 2Compulsory Consumerist State“Stop Reading My Motto!”
8.The Valkyrian Republic of QvaitLeft-wing Utopia“Peace, Freedom, and Democracy”
9.The Commonwealth of United States of VietnamLeft-wing Utopia“We're not Việt Cộng”
10.The Dracocracy of TheorinDemocratic Socialists“We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite.”
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