by Max Barry

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The Pacific World Census

The Fattest Citizens in the Pacific

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, the Pacific is ranked 9,489th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Rogue Nation of MomstononistanCompulsory Consumerist State“Better to overreact, than to regret it later.”
2.The Confederacy of HalbhalbhaAnarchy“Yeah, Nah”
3.The NPO High Inquisitor of MyrthCompulsory Consumerist State“You may all stop clapping at the ringing of the bell.”
4.The Free State of LangerslandIron Fist Consumerists“The wise council? I had them lined up and shot.”
5.The DOMA🎌IN of VIVIENFather Knows Best State“G👏G👏”
6.The Greedland of AnaxoniaCompulsory Consumerist State“Si ša bouge pas,bouffe-le!”
7.The Dictatorship of Overdosed crackheadsIron Fist Consumerists“Obey or die”
8.The Federal Republic of SpamwichAnarchy“Rude, rich, and ready to rumble.”
9.The Dominion of TeufelvolkCivil Rights Lovefest“Fight to the death!”
10.The Esoteric Armed Forces of The Dunwich DominionLeft-Leaning College State“Anekh Brak Cthulhu”
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