by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in The Official United Nations

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The Official United Nations is ranked 10,015th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Republic of SanLazarusCapitalist Paradise“Forever Our Own”
2.The Federation of Sargasso Weapons Distribution INCFree-Market Paradise“Profit.”
3.The Democratic Republic of Liberio Free StateCivil Rights Lovefest“Justice. Kindess. Choice. Freedom.”
4.The Endorse Grande Germania of Official United Nations FounderAnarchy“Freedom and Justice”
5.The Federation of MardataniaInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Eurasia Forever!”
6.The Dominion of New England and AcadiaNew York Times Democracy“Nunquam libertas gratior extat”
7.The Synonym of the verb Affix of LinkNew York Times Democracy“It is I, link”
8.The British-German Empire of King IslesInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Glory to The!”
9.The Republic of Makasta couped TOUN and theInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Hummanty is at risk we must FIGHT”
10.The Community of RrerannInoffensive Centrist Democracy“The meaning to life, the universe, and everything”