by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in The New Meritocracy

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The New Meritocracy is ranked 479th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Radioactive Republic of JasqueCivil Rights Lovefest“Make yourselves sheep and the wolves will eat you.”
2.The Holy Meritocratic Republic of ArgyresAnarchy“Fluctuat nec mergitur!”
3.The Liberation Movement of The KeymasterAnarchy“When someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES!”
4.The Corruptocracy of MontserradoCapitalist Paradise“you pay, we pray”
5.The Corporate Republic of Nuclear IndustrialCompulsory Consumerist State“Re Publica Oeconomia Est”
6.The People's Republics of WinnipegBenevolent Dictatorship“Unum Cum Virtute Multorum”
7.The People's Republic of KitimatBenevolent Dictatorship“UNUM CUM VIRTUTE MULTORUM”
8.The Kingdom of Eureka IIFather Knows Best State“Everything old new again”
9.The First Ambassadorial State of Legatus ICapitalist Paradise“Long live the Meritocracy!”
10.The Armed Protectorate of MinisteriaCivil Rights Lovefest“Make yourselves sheep”
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