by Max Barry

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The Heartland World Census

The Fattest Citizens in The Heartland

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The Heartland is ranked 9,685th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Grand Old Duchy of IneptiaInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Moderation In All Things”
2.The Restored Monarchy of LuxiaiInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Vivat Rex!”
3.The Democratic Territories of AustrivumLeft-Leaning College State“Forward.”
4.The Confederacy of StoniasoInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Un Nuovo Giorno Solo Quando Il Sole Tramonta”
5.The Scientific Empire of West Kompa RuCorporate Bordello“An independent territory of Kompa Ru!”
6.The Democratic United States of Kompa RuCorporate Bordello“Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain.”
7.The Colony of New KlentInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Lustitia et Libertas sunt Regnator”
8.The Insultingly Invigorated Call of NasticDemocratic Socialists“Sempre Nāstic”
9.The United Republic of East KlentCivil Rights Lovefest“Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc”
10.The Soviet Republic of DondrisPsychotic Dictatorship“Nam Respublica Sovietica Dondris!”
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