by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in The East Pacific

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The East Pacific is ranked 11,672nd in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Free and Holy Republic of The Happy CiviliansCorporate Police State“Perfectly Fine, Thank You....”
2.The Holy Matriarchy of The Blessed and Holy LandCorporate Police State“Praise be to our Holy Goddess”
3.The Community of EgzarkiaCapitalist Paradise“└aaaaaaaaaaaaaa”
4.The Republic of Bai LungIron Fist Consumerists“Three Principles of the People”
5.The Dictatorship of Walter HeisenbergCorporate Police State“Tread lightly”
6.The Most Serene Holy Republic of ParpuraCorporate Police State“Power through Power”
7.The Rogue Nation of NocoinsPsychotic Dictatorship“We don't take Visa, checks, or cash!”
8.The GangLand of 7-5Anarchy“This is business. And I want all of yours!”
9.The Armed Republic of MershistanAnarchy“Nos mercatores pecuniam vere amo.”
10.The Corporate-Owned Kingdom of Economic NirvanaAnarchy“Increased profits create happiness.”
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