by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in The Communist Bloc

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The Communist Bloc is ranked 25,157th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Nuclear Fallout of A Post-Apocalyptic WastelandLeft-Leaning College State“We have survived the apocalypse! What next?”
2.The Trodden-On House of ProvinceopolisCompulsory Consumerist State“Freedom isnít free”
3.The Holy Empire of GuacamalaCorporate Police State“I hate this country”
4.The Militarized State of FlammalandPsychotic Dictatorship“Pro nobis; Potentia. Sibi hostibus adverso; Mortem.”
5.The Anocratic Synocracy of V E XLeft-Leaning College State“In good we trust.”
6.The Unlimited Speed Roads of Le CarPsychotic Dictatorship“VTEC kicked in yo!”
7.The Incorporated States of Gelatin SteakhouseCorporate Bordello“Open mouth yeah yeah yeah! To the moon yeah yeah yeah!”
8.The Corporate-Ruled Hellhole of SrentCorporate Bordello“MONEY!!!!!”
9.The Republic of FigarglyfynciennadanordiaFather Knows Best State“Mission Accomplished”
10.The Managed Reipublicae of ColtvaniaCivil Rights Lovefest“Fight For The Lost!”
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