by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in Talonia

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, Talonia is ranked 11,809th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Empire of Peanu-ButteriaFather Knows Best State“God, Emperor, Peanu-Butteria”
2.The Roman Republic of AskriegCompulsory Consumerist State“It didn't happen but they deserved it”
3.The Free Land of BionortAnarchy“Liberdade ou morte”
4.The Free Land of LyarionaCorporate Bordello“Liberty, Autonomy, Prosperity”
5.The Theocracy of Le grand chauve souris frugivoresCorporate Police State“Grand chauve souris frugivores”
6.The Federal Republic of JesuslaandRight-wing Utopia“Negotiating with terrorists is for Democrats”
7.The Rogue Nation of NIGHTTIME TELETUBBIEsDemocratic Socialists“אני רואה את אלוהים בחושך. להצטרף אליו בתפילה.”
8.The Republic of Ban Ban TristanAnarchy“Twirling Toward Freedom”
9.The Oppressed Peoples of OP1UMMAnarchy“Ice on my body the coolest”
10.The Republic of DrugtroploisAnarchy“We don't care and we have fun ”
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