by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in South America

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, South America is ranked 12,526th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Free Land of Accurate Rio de JaneiroCompulsory Consumerist State“Bullets, beatings and bombs.”
2.The Commonwealth Realm of NeraguaAnarchy“Liberty and Unity”
3.The Banana Republic of PaquadorIron Fist Consumerists“Libertad y Orden”
4.The Federal Unified Republic of San MartinoCorporate Police State“Santiago! San Martiño! By God's will and force of arms!”
5.The Republic of Calimera IIInoffensive Centrist Democracy“En Unión y Libertad”
6.The Union of Federated States of MesozaliaCapitalist Paradise“Notre Union pour toujours”
7.The United States of -TawantinsuyuInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Liberty and Justice”
8.The Free Land of SC Corinthians PaulistaCivil Rights Lovefest“Time do povo”
9.The Republic of O-M-GInoffensive Centrist Democracy“OMG,the free A.G.H,the boss”
10.The BRITISH Overseas Territory of MalvinasInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Las Malvinas son británicas”
1234. . .67»