by Max Barry

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Pacific Islands World Census

The Fattest Citizens in Pacific Islands

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, Pacific Islands is ranked 397th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Island Republic of CR OscilloscopesCivil Rights Lovefest“Industry Über Alles”
2.The Colony of East Isles 110Inoffensive Centrist Democracy“The meaning to life, the universe, and everything”
3.The Nice of Heisenberg TonneMoralistic Democracy“Proud Social”
4.The Republic of TrosviaTyranny by Majority“God, Homeland, Liberty”
5.The Community of YellownesiaPsychotic Dictatorship“Definitely Not a Cargo Cult”