by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in New West Indies

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, New West Indies is ranked 12,535th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Partial Monarchy of Viking NordlandAnarchy“Búskapur”
2.The Republic of Raxy SoverodnuizzlemordiaCivil Rights Lovefest“From Many, One”
3.The Republic of JOIHFInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Hockey for all”
4.The Allied States of New West IndiesLeft-wing Utopia“In Varietate Concordia”
5.The Queendom of Anastasia KaranikolaouInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Might Makes Right”
6.The United Antillean Kingdom of Antillae UnitaeDemocratic Socialists“Post Nubila Phoebus”
7.The Republic of District Line 9Inoffensive Centrist Democracy“We Will Endure”
8.The Loving Couple of -I-Ship-ItAuthoritarian Democracy“Shipping Fan!”
9.The Republic of TinjaLeft-Leaning College State“Justice, Accountability, Empowerment”