by Max Barry

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The Most Compassionate Citizens in Manitoba

Exhaustive World Census tests involving kittens revealed the following nations to be the most compassionate.

As a region, Manitoba is ranked 5,770th in the world for Most Compassionate Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Always Happy People of Communist WinnipegScandinavian Liberal Paradise“From Each According to Our Needs”
2.The Aromatic Republic of Chateau ChevalierInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Shipping promotions do NOT apply to wine purchases.”
3.The People's Theocracy of United GoodLiberal Democratic Socialists“Atheists do not know Fear and Comfort”
4.The Klingon Bird-of-Prey of KSN50Corrupt Dictatorship“wo' toy'taHvIS Hegh 'e' tul Hoch tlhIngan”
5.The Jets of Winnipeg_New York Times Democracy“Assiniboine et la Rouge”
6.The Red River Warriors of WarhorseAnarchy“Never Know”
7.The Apolytonian Surfdom of Grant Park - HarrowAuthoritarian Democracy“Arrant Graph Work”