by Max Barry

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Germany World Census

The Fattest Citizens in Germany

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, Germany is ranked 8,211th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Königreich of Waldeck-SchwarzburgFather Knows Best State“Sein Plan ist Losung, unser Kampf und Schweiß!”
2.The Squinted Eyes of Goblin ManCompulsory Consumerist State“... he looks more than half like a goblin.”
3.The Kingdom of Haus der MausCorporate Bordello“Why Do Today, What You Can Do Tomorrow”
4.The Borderlands of KnasterbartCivil Rights Lovefest“Brandy for everyone”
5.The Kaiserreich of Superpower GermanyRight-wing Utopia“Gott mit uns”
6.The Kingdom of Saxony and Lower BrandenburgInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Providentiae Memor”
7.The Empire of Grand Deutsch-AmerikaCorporate Bordello“German Freedom”
8.The Kingdom of WeisenwigCorporate Police State“Fortschritt, Frieden und Wohlstand!”
9.The United Socialist States of German North-Western PolandCivil Rights Lovefest“As One Forever!”
10.The Confederacy of Rhine-HanoverInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Praise Our Confederacy!”