by Max Barry

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The Most Advanced Public Education in Christmas

Fresh-faced World Census agents infiltrated schools with varying degrees of success in order to determine which nations had the most widespread, well-funded, and advanced public education programs.

As a region, Christmas is ranked 5,053rd in the world for Most Advanced Public Education.

NationWA CategoryMotto
11.The Utopia of White ChristmasNew York Times Democracy“I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas”
12.The Christmas Monarchy of Jolly Old Saint NicholasInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Down the chimney broad and black / With your pack”
13.The While By My Sheep of I Watched At NightLeft-wing Utopia“How great my joy!”
14.The Yuletide Dæmon of Viking SantaCorporate Bordello“Silent night in 1914 / Holy day the shells did cease”
15.The Spirit of Jolly Old St NicholasFather Knows Best State“Ho! Ho! Ho!”
16.The Protectorate of Dasher Dancer Prancer VixenFather Knows Best State“Twas the night before Christmas”
17.The Republic of The Great CongressInoffensive Centrist Democracy“The many for the individual.”
18.The Cacophony of Yuletide Carols Being Sung by a ChoirIron Fist Consumerists“Merry Christmas to you”
19.The Holy Sun Baby of TubbytronicLeft-wing Utopia“Noo-noo. . . Laha Hee Hee!!!”
20.The Toasty Smell of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open FireFather Knows Best State“Merry Christmas to you”
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