by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in Capitalist Paradise

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Infection of EdgemasterFather Knows Best State“KICK LOGIC OUT AND DO THE IMPOSSIBLE!!”
2.The Confederacy of GespainCorporate Bordello“Laissez faire, laissez passer”
3.The Perfidious Theocracy of SnorlaxiaCivil Rights Lovefest“We are always pretty”
4.The Free Secular Federation of Nation of QuebecLiberal Democratic Socialists“Friends Close, Enemies Closer”
5.The Corporate Consortium of CouratharCapitalist Paradise“Progress at any Cost”
6.The Republic of American ArgentinaCapitalizt“Vires acquirit eundo”
7.The Corporate Empire of Mon GoogCapitalist Paradise“Greed is Good”
8.The Jingoistic States of Uxorem meamAnarchy“Quid quid latine dictum sit, altum viditur”
9.The Free Domes of Meridiani PlanumCapitalizt“We flourish together as free men and women”
10.The Holy Purple Principality of PentadbirCapitalist Paradise“He said we haven't had that spirit here since 1969”
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