by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in BLITZKRIEG

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, BLITZKRIEG is ranked 1,317th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Substitutiary Locomotion of Captain WoodhouseCompulsory Consumerist State“Skin on skin, let the love begin”
2.The High-toned SOB of Hugo BossCorporate Police State“Charlie don't surf”
3.The Purple Pied Piper of T-RexCorporate Police State“friendship”
4.The Who Is Your Daddy of NodinCompulsory Consumerist State“You'll never make the six”
5.The Republic of VlaamsMoralistic Democracy“Klauwerdeklauw”
6.The Free Land of Captain BloodFather Knows Best State“Cabdain Blood is fond of boedry”
7.The Bicycle Built For Two of Frank PooleDemocratic Socialists“I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore”
8.The Woodhouse Sanctum of Erich ToppMoralistic Democracy“Skin on skin, let the love begin”
9.The Capital of Exilvania of SchreckensburgFather Knows Best State“A city built from the ashes of freedom”
10.The Mmmbop of White CollarIron Fist Consumerists“Skin on skin, let the love begin”