by Max Barry

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The Most Compassionate Citizens in Australia

Exhaustive World Census tests involving kittens revealed the following nations to be the most compassionate.

As a region, Australia is ranked 23,395th in the world for Most Compassionate Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Protectorate of CoffeeSqueezeInoffensive Centrist Democracy“We like coffee”
2.The Kingdom of King RankmoreInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Australia rulzs.”
3.The Imperial Protectorate of MeulmaniaInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Improvidus, Accomodare, Vincet”
4.The Willit and Booble of VeeblefetzerInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Potrzebie doesn't live here”
5.The Second of Select OnePsychotic Dictatorship“Eat fish”
6.The Commonwealth of Dungog ShireCompulsory Consumerist State“*unintelligible*”
7.The Commonwealth of Australian Capital TerritoryCivil Rights Lovefest“For the Queen, the Law, and the People”
8.The Commonwealth of Australia placeInoffensive Centrist Democracy“For king and- wait we don't have a king anymore...”
9.The Most Serene Republic of AyersRockLeft-wing Utopia“Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.”
10.The Borderlands of Kata TjutaAnarchy“Dry as a dead dingo's donger.”