by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in 10000 Islands

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, 10000 Islands is ranked 9,924th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Black Dog of PhlebaciteIron Fist Consumerists“When in doubt execute, otherwise exterminate”
2.The Republic of ChavanteAnarchy“A free nation is a country in increasing ascent.”
3.The Oppressed Peoples of ScuffleopolisCorporate Police State“Such is life”
4.The Void of DustwindIron Fist Consumerists“You live, you suffer, you die”
5.The Oppressed Peoples of Next MealIron Fist Consumerists“living hand to mouth”
6.The Dysfunctional Viper Pilots of The Colonial FleetCapitalist Paradise“All I got from Earth was this radioactive T-shirt”
7.The Christmas Principality of Ujong MediniCompulsory Consumerist State“Drink lard, homicidal youths”
8.The Republic of West PhlebaciteInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Beat it”
9.The Nomadic People of Gaia NationLeft-Leaning College State“Against Civilization”
10.The Legend of Lower PhlebaciteInoffensive Centrist Democracy“cmon getaff”
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