by Max Barry

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The Highest Unexpected Death Rate in Primitiveness

The World Census paid their respects at cemeteries in order to determine how likely citizens were to die each year from unnatural causes, such as crime, preventable illness, accident, and government encouragement.

As a region, Primitiveness is ranked 4,635th in the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Stringent Dietary Regimen of A Horse Thicc Enough to Carry YouNew York Times Democracy“Thicc enough to carry you, your hopes, and your dreams.”
2.The Advanced Technocracy of Really Smart KansasIron Fist Consumerists“First in the US to burn down the patent office 👍”
3.The Republic of Perfectly Spherical Venn DiagramsScandinavian Liberal Paradise“So Much For The Lactose-Tolerant Left”
4.The Credit Fraud Is Old News of Thieves are stealing my hemoglobinAnarchy“Those blasted internet thieves...”
5.The Red Lyrium Barbeque Sauce of The Lord Seeker-of BeansDemocratic Socialists“The only destiny that demands respect is BEANS”
6.The Twelve Subways of Make Me A SaanichIron Fist Consumerists“Five Dollaar Footlongs”
7.The Crunchwrap Ultimatum of Taco BelliCorrupt Dictatorship“Vivere Amplius”
8.The Darkspawn Detective of Hurlock SholmesPsychotic Dictatorship“HUUUAHUHHHGHJHKGG my dear Watson”
9.The Community of The Square Dancing Legion UpstairsNew York Times Democracy“*CLUDUDUNK* *CLUDUDUNK* *DONK* dut dut dududududdud”
10.The 480 sugar grams of Bandai NanaimoRight-wing Utopia“Located in Gundam BC, The Dark Souls of Canada”
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