by Max Barry

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Sasquatch Affairs wrote:ROUND ROBIN MATCH 3
-snip-
GROUP C
-snip-
Fuentana (Fuentana and the Rockettes) 5–3 Altimazing (Owls Against Fuentana)

That was a hoot!

TOP 16 BRACKETS MATCH 1
Joe Exotic (Flying Walruses) 7–4 Giovanniland (Giovannilandian National Curling Team)

Chodean Kal (Chode Uncles) 7–4 Hertfordshire and Jammbo (Herts' Heavenly Host Jammboree)

Bukwas (Bukwas Blizzards) 7–3 Fuentana (Fuentana and the Rockettes)

Sealands Little Brother (The Fairy Tale League) 7–5 Illahee (Wahkiakum Ten-Pin and Curling Club)

Ghad (The Ghadian Pines) 6–4 Teralyan (Šarplaninac Curling)

El Tejon (The BASTARDS) 6–4 Woodapple (The Golden Dawn)

Ellestede (Team Astrid) 5–7 Altai Almas (Altaysk Golf and Curling Club)

Zoran (Sand Curlers) 8–4 Hun-Hoen (The Jolly Joggers)

CurlingThings2022

"Uff, that was a doozy! 5 matches in one day was more than my liver could handle. At least Yinzer got enough aiming fluid in him to steer the stone right for that last one. Bertha fixed us all up with a thermos of her special Bloody Sasquatch recipe and we got some of that Chodean Kal oil to ease our soreness." Last minute substitution Donna Jean exclaimed.

Can The BASTARDS keep it up in the International Bonspiel? We hope so!

A EVENT BRACKET
A-1
Joe Exotic (Flying Walruses) 8–7 Chodean Kal (Chode Uncles)

A-2
Bukwas (Bukwas Blizzards) 5–4 Sealands Little Brother (The Fairy Tale League)

A-3
Ghad (The Ghadian Pines) 4–5 El Tejon (The BASTARDS)

A-4
Altai Almas (Altaysk Golf and Curling Club) 10–6 Zoran (Sand Curlers)

B EVENT BRACKET
B-1
Giovanniland (Giovannilandian National Curling Team) 4–7 Hertfordshire and Jammbo (Herts' Heavenly Host Jammboree)

B-2
Fuentana (Fuentana and the Rockettes) 4–9 Illahee (Wahkiakum Ten-Pin and Curling Club)

B-3
Teralyan (Šarplaninac Curling) 4–5 Woodapple (The Golden Dawn)

B-4
Ellestede (Team Astrid) 8–4 Hun-Hoen (The Jolly Joggers)

Notes
A & B Event winners will continue on in their event brackets.

A Event losers split off to the D Event; B Event losers split off to the C Event.

Next match in two hours!

A Event Semis
Joe Exotic (Flying Walruses) 10-7 Bukwas (Bukwas Blizzards)

El Tejon (The BASTARDS) 4–8 Altai Almas (Altaysk Golf and Curling Club)

B Event Semis
Hertfordshire and Jammbo (Herts' Heavenly Host Jammboree) 8–6 Illahee (Wahkiakum Ten-Pin and Curling Club)

Woodapple (The Golden Dawn) 7-5 Ellestede (Team Astrid)

C Event Semis
Giovanniland (Giovannilandian National Curling Team) 9–6 Fuentana (Fuentana and the Rockettes)

Teralyan (Šarplaninac Curling) 6–3 Hun-Hoen (The Jolly Joggers)

D Event Semis
Chodean Kal (Chode Uncles) 5–6 Sealands Little Brother (The Fairy Tale League)

Ghad (The Ghadian Pines) 10–9 Zoran (Sand Curlers)

The nation of Dilber unfortunately was unable to send a delegation, but is playing fantasy curling.

If anyone is interested, we would like to trade our players from the Chode Uncles for being giant chodes, but not in a good way

The curling team from Giovanniland has had fun and good results so far, especially since curling is not a popular sport in Giovanniland.

Players and fans alike celebrated Giovannilandian wins against Teralyan, Lanzona and Joe Exotic in the round robin, while also congratulating Bukwas and Blue Bubble for both defeating our team in close matches.

Knockout games were rough for the team, as the Flying Walruses from Joe Exotic got their revenge from the group stage, and another defeat followed for Giovanniland at the hands of the Herts' Heavenly Host Jammboree from Hertfordshire and Jammbo.

Luckily, the next and most recent game was a win for Giovanniland against the Fuentanan team! We wish our national team good luck in the next match, in which Giovanniland will presumably meet a known opponent - Šarplaninac Curling from Teralyan.

THIRD PLACE MATCHES

Bukwas (Bukwas Blizzards) 5–7 El Tejon (The BASTARDS)

Illahee (Wahkiakum Ten-Pin and Curling Club) 6–8 Ellestede (Team Astrid)

Fuentana (Fuentana and the Rockettes) 7–6 Hun-Hoen (The Jolly Joggers)

Chodean Kal (Chode Uncles) 6–7 Zoran (Sand Curlers)

CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHES

Sealands Little Brother (The Fairy Tale League) 10–4 Ghad (The Ghadian Pines)

Giovanniland (Giovannilandian National Curling Team) 6–3 Teralyan (Šarplaninac Curling)

Hertfordshire and Jammbo (Herts' Heavenly Host Jammboree) 10–9 Woodapple (The Golden Dawn)

Joe Exotic (Flying Walruses) 7–8 Altai Almas (Altaysk Golf and Curling Club)

Jeremy Clarkson: Hello and welcome to the most haphazard show this side of a Sasquatch.
James May: This may be the final time we come to you live, as we have almost reached the end of the Bonspiel.
Jeremy Clarkson: James, this is only the second time we've gone live.
James May: I know. I just thought the viewers would want to know as well.
Jeremy Clarkson: Well the audience can figure it out for themselves.
Richard Hammond: Moving on, because right now it is time to brush the icy path of chat, so the curling stone slides onto the 'button' of debate, in the centre of the 'house' of Conversation Street!

The Conversation Street jingle plays. In this clip, we see Hammond attacking Clarkson with a slab of ice carved into the shape of scissors. Conversely, Clarkson is attacking Hammond with a hammer because of course it's a hammer. May meanwhile is just watching, but then looks to the audience and reveals a compass needle in his head.

Jeremy Clarkson: Okay, now a couple of days ago, the three of us made a bet. Now this is something you'll have seen last episode.
Richard Hammond: Yeah.
Jeremy Clarkson: I bring it up now though because I discovered while watching Hammond leave that he is actually a Chodean Uncle.
Hammond flashes a cheeky toothy grin.
James May: Ah yes! Like that professor... Shinso thing and er...
Jeremy Clarkson: No no, not that, no. What I mean is when he has lost the bet to a superior player, he tries to smash up his drumkit with landmine-shaped alcohol bottles!
Richard Hammond: I... did not!!
Jeremy Clarkson: You did!
Richard Hammond: I remember the deed! No, I rubbed it almost. I gave a rub.
Jeremy Clarkson: You rubbed it like Embry Obalkanska rubbed those Varanius Inquisitors. That wasn't rubbing.
Richard Hammond: I did not!
Clarkson imitates Hammond at the bar near Chode Uncles, who were drowning their sorrows after defeat to Sand Curlers.
Richard Hammond: I just brushed it a bit, I leaned on it at most.
Jeremy Clarkson: You didn't!
Richard Hammond: I fell wide.
James May: Hold on a minute. Because I wasn't in this race but I was watching it from a grassy knoll.
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes.
Couple of laughs from Peko Pekyneva & Shirou Fomenko out back
James May: ...I was. I think Hammond behaved correctly.
Richard Hammond: Thank you, I did.
Jeremy Clarkson: There are CCTV cameras outside the studio okay, so we'll look at them next time and you'll see him going... (Clarkson imitates Hammond smashing up his drumkit).
Richard Hammond: Wha- no! I ju...!

James May: You're absolutely right, the CCTV footage will be the key to it, but I will be the steward as I was there, I shall adjudicate.
Jeremy Clarkson: You- I'm not having you judging.
James May: Wha-...
Jeremy Clarkson: You can't even play a game of Glaciopoly without cheating.
Richard Hammond: No he can't, he cheats a lot.
James May: Wha-!
Richard Hammond: He did, he did cheat.
Jeremy Clarkson: He did, he used- (Clarkson turns to the Herts' Heavenly Host Jammboree 5 of Mizore, Shirou, Embry, Faust & Peko who are watching for some reason) we played a game of Glaciopoly and he cheated.
James May: I did not!
Richard Hammond: We played for 4 hours and you cheated!
James May: I did not cheat!
Richard Hammond: You ruined the game! You made it po- you robbed the bank!!
James May: There was a... there was a bank robbery but you don't get those in Glaciopoly and I thought it would make it more authentic if the bank was robbed.
Jeremy Clarkson: What?!
Richard Hammond: You stole it! So you're-
James May: I-
Richard Hammond: You're a cheat, a liar and a burglar!
James May: I played the role of-
Jeremy Clarkson: If I'm gonna use a judge for this drum-related incident I'm going to use Jammbofcom, because they are wise.
Richard Hammond: Don't go there! Don't go there.
Jeremy Clarkson: And you!
Clarkson points at May
Jeremy Clarkson: You are going to be shot in front of your family.
James May: (laughter)
Richard Hammond: Off!
Jeremy Clarkson: Something it turns out you can say on television.
Richard Hammond: Oh, for shrine god's sake!
Jeremy Clarkson: It turns out.
Richard Hammond: Yeah, what you've done there Jeremy is take your leg out of the glacier doughnut, turn around and put your head in instead!
(Hammond imitates Clarkson saying "come on in!")
Richard Hammond: You're an idiot.
Jeremy Clarkson: Anyway, that is the end of Conversation Street.

My team has always aspired to be #3. Will we make it?

We will see.

A day late on my #BestWeekEver, but here it goes.

Despite technical difficulties of the brain, I managed to get the bonspiel done. In other news, I got a great new job with lots of potential! #BWE

#BestWeekEver

Sorry for being very late with this, but the week has been crazy. I've barely looked at NS.
So .... the most amazing thing about the week was that my daughter is home!

Also ... I don't quite understand the Curling results. Are the Bukwas Blizzards out of it now?
If so, we loved it! It was a lot of fun!
If not ... we need to post again! :-)

Bukwas wrote:#BestWeekEver

Sorry for being very late with this, but the week has been crazy. I've barely looked at NS.
So .... the most amazing thing about the week was that my daughter is home!

Also ... I don't quite understand the Curling results. Are the Bukwas Blizzards out of it now?
If so, we loved it! It was a lot of fun!
If not ... we need to post again! :-)

Essentially 4th place in the top tier.

#Curling
The Chode Uncles can barely remember what happened in the most recent bonspiel. One moment they were on the ice screaming at one another about how their grandmother can throw a heavier rock, the next... They weren't even at the bar.

They were home.

With their wives!

The horror.

Suffice to say, they're looking forward their next match. Things are better on the ice.

#Curling 2021

The Bukwas Blizzards didn't place, but made a nice showing ... and more importantly ... are very much enjoying their eggnog!!!

#Thankful Thursday

I'm thankful for all of the fun events in TSP!

Curling Night with Sasquatch!

Welcome back to league play. Tonight we kick of the second round robin leg of the regular season.

Next week will be a bye week due to the Christmas holiday.

Group AA
Altai Almas (Altaysk Golf and Curling Club) 7–5 Wymth (Wymth Wizards)
Ellestede (Team Astrid) 7–4 A Newly Born Kraken (Varanius Inquisitors)

Group BB
Sealands Little Brother (The Fairy Tale League) 11–7 Lanzona (The Outsliders)
Bukwas (Bukwas Blizzards) 9–8 Hun-Hoen (The Jolly Joggers)

Group CC
El Tejon (The BASTARDS) 5–3 Joe Exotic (Flying Walruses)
Altimazing (Owls Against Fuentana) 6–9 Teralyan (Šarplaninac Curling Club)

Group DD
Montmorencia (Montmorencia Curling Association) 8–11 Chodean Kal (Chode Uncles)
Fort Ewok (Payette Pirates) 3–9 Illahee (Wahkiakum Ten-Pin and Curling Club)

#BestWeekEver

This is a belated BWE because of all the rl stuff going on ... but they make this the BWE!
My brother is in town for the holidays, I'm finished wrapping my presents, and we had a fantastic day celebrating my son's birthday today!

#BestWeekEver

Wife and I are on our winter vacation to the Gulf of Mexico. Libations, music, fishing and companionship are the orders for the week.

#Thankful Thursday

I am thankful that my sister tested negative for covid (even though her exposure was minimal and we all thought she'd be negative :-P ).

#ThankfulThursday
Happy and thankful to be home with my fam for the holidays!

Merry Christmas TSR!

#Best Week Ever

This was a great week because ... Christmas!!!

#BestWeekEver

The trip has been very relaxing and enjoyable. As a bonus, I have learned how to catch blue crabs. Weekly total is 22. Been picking and going to make crab cakes for NYE. We are heading out tomorrow going to take our time driving across Texas back home.

#ThankfulThursday

One day late ... I'm thankful for my great kids.

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